I forget that it's rare to leave the house while wearing pajama pants. The barista at Sir Walter commented on it -- what can I say? Comfort is nice.

---

_{What is this? This is my new daily Steem blog. I am still developing the ideas of how to name and execute this thing so now it's in beta mode -- gimme your feedback in the comments!}

INTRO

My goal in life is to start a new genre. To inspire and invoke a new form of art into the world, sending ripples of creativity out into the universe for generations to come.

Right now I'm grinding out the early stages, working two jobs, starting an anarchist art collective, and recording + rehearsing a ton of new music. This daily Steem blog brings you the most useful lessons and ideas that I'm able to extract from each day of my crazy life.

It's kind of like a motivational blog, but with a lot more angst and confusion. Call me the anti-Tony Robbins. Lets do this:

---

May 11, 2019 ~10:00am -- Raleigh, NC

Sitting here at Sir Walter, the vibe is good even while the music is cheesy. I feel disconnected from the other people here but not in a bad way. I just need some space to process the last few days.

_{context: One of my best friends came to visit for my birthday. It was so much fun. We turned off our phones for 36 hours straight while she was here, which was an amazing experience and gave us both the idea to try a "no phone month" -- more on that later}

While my friends were in town, my entire experience of life changed. There was no concern about work, or moving towards any goals, I was just enjoying my life as it was.

That mindspace feels inaccessible now -- I am much more goal oriented -- but why?

There's nothing about the next few days, with a lot of shifts at the venue + restaurant, that will be helped by worrying. I have a good stable life going at the moment, and I'm saving up my money for a free-er* future as I work on my creative projects and seek out adventures. But with all of that momentum, when I'm working "towards" something, it creates a less present state.

_{*(what's the word for that? more free? free-er? ???)}

I find myself wanting to grow and expand my sense of patience. Some of my questionable habits -- excessive drinking/smoking, bad diet choices, etc -- might be disguised manifestations of a lack of of patience. Chasing perceived pleasure from predictable inputs like alcohol or social media, which seems to feel good in the moment, but this eliminates all the opportunities for the better experiences that become unlikely/impossible once you're drunk or stoned, or even just exhausted from bad sleep and diet.

You ever get invited to a jam session when you're five drinks in on Saturday night? It's not a great feeling -- I'd always prefer to be sober or just stoned at most.

Work today is a double, ending at around 2:30am at the nightclub, then a Sunday brunch shift tomorrow at 10am.

It's an opportunity to work, make people happy, learn, earn, gain perspective, and talk to people. It requires me to be at my best -- my healthiest! No alcohol or empty calories for the next 36 hours. I want to be peaceful, to feel good, and to perform like a superstar.

I think I can do it.

Subplot: The No-Phone Month -- Day 0.3

Okay, this is the last update before I actually start the experiment.

I am still pondering the last few pieces of the experiment. It feels genuinely irresponsible or perhaps just rude/unnecessary to only turn my phone on 1-2 times per week, which was my original idea.

The phone does have its uses.

My current plan is to do what my friend recommended to me, which is to turn it on for 20 minutes, 3x per day. Morning, afternoon, and evening.

It strikes me as remarkable that one hour per day feels like a radically low amount of time to make one's phone available. If I did nearly anything else that often, I would think of it as a lot of time to spend.

I want to do this for a month, starting tomorrow.

If it goes well, I may continue this practice indefinitely.

One other idea is to do a full day "fast" each Wednesday, turning my phone off on Tuesday night and not turning it back on until Thursday morning. I might not start that until week 2 due to some family coming to visit later this week.

Coming up tomorrow, I'll work yet another shift from 10:00am to ~2:30pm (after ending work at 2:30am tonight!) -- Can I maintain a good mental state over the next 24 hours and enjoy the work of earning money for my future endeavors? Or will I get pissed off and tired from the process of earning that cash, without any time for music in the day? We'll find outtttt

---

BITE-SIZED FUN STUFF:

What I'm listening to today: Death Grips - Black Paint

My latest Instagram post:

---

Did you enjoy this post? You can show some love by following me on Steemit, leaving a comment, or best of all Join My Mailing List, 2-3 emails per month