Circulating parents - dependent children?

Parents, whose thoughts constantly revolve around the well-being of the children and who are always ready to support and rescue the offspring, are now also known as helicopter parents. What this continuous attention with children can do, read in the following article.

Parents, who care for their children constantly and constantly, give a lot of security, but in the extreme case also remove something important from the offspring, namely the chance to make their own experiences and mistakes. Defeat, but also success, is part of building healthy self-esteem. Whoever is only mothered, finds it difficult to find his own way and even harder to go afterwards.

We only want your best!

The stated goal and the highest task of all parents is to protect and care for their child. Some parents, however, shoot beyond the goal and offer by the over-anxiety, although maximum protection, but also a high degree of foreclosure before the real life. For the children, it is very comfortable when they know: Mom and Dad will be fine. However, this convenience is at the expense of important qualities that every person should necessarily develop and need for a contented life. Self-confidence and self-esteem are left behind, the handling of frustration and defeat is not practiced and also the staying power remains weak. The reason why parents concentrate more and more on their children and educate them so easily to dependent adults, explains the brain researcher Ralph Dawirs as follows:

• There are fewer and fewer children, so they get even more attention.
• The demands are high if the children should be able to survive in the meritocracy.
• The coexistence often takes place in small families with three to four people, the educational tasks are performed almost exclusively by the parents.
• All educational decisions are questioned and questioned. There is great uncertainty among parents about what is right and what is wrong.
• Their own fears are projected onto the children, such as fear of heights, fear of spiders, water, etc.
• The uncertainty about proper education goes hand in hand with the great fear of making unpardonable mistakes. In general, children keep a lot and can compensate for educational errors well. In the radical method of helicopter parents, however, this is often difficult. The result: The children become anxious and trust themselves less and less.

Worrying is normal

Being cared for as a parent is normal and important, because children are at first exposed to the environment without protection. Parents are the only bulwark and the only defense mechanism a child can use. The knowledge that the parents strengthen their back and are there when there are difficulties, gives a child strength and confidence in himself. If the child fails, then it is lovingly caught and comforted, it is successful, it is celebrated and praised. Parents who care too much take away the opportunities for the child and themselves. The child can not test his skills and improve, the parents can not show that they are there even in bad times for the child.

Take care if necessary

For parents, it is important to balance the caring and self-responsibility of the child. What risks are possible, when must a child really be protected and rescued? This is often the case, for example, in everyday school life. Teachers who rate unnecessarily severely, bullying and unjust treatment of students by teachers often require parental intervention. But once again, the parents should first talk to the child and ask them if they feel overwhelmed with the situation and want to take the help of the parents at all. In general, in many cases, injustice is the best way to get the most out of people, and that's especially true for children. If the parents intervene too early, then they take the child's chance to discover what it can actually accomplish. This is true not only at school, but for all seemingly dangerous situations in life.

Overprotective parents should always keep in mind that at some point they will not be anymore. Sooner or later, the moment will come when every child or adult will have to take care of themselves. How well it masters this challenge depends on what his parents have given him. In the best case, self-confidence and a sense of own strength.

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