DAD-Chronicals : How do i become a good father???
How do I become a good father - the best tips
Fathers are extremely important to the child's development, we all know that. But how does one become a good father? When can one justifiably claim to have done his best to educate his child?
What a father must be first of all is realistic in his self-assessment. Children do not want to fly to their fathers - they want to give and receive love for an authentic and loving person who shows their feelings. Being a father starts when the baby is still paddling peacefully in Mama's stomach. Already at this time a man can and should set off and become a good father.
A good father ...
... prepares for family growth together with his partner. He accompanies her to the gynecologist (at least when baby TV is available) and already dreams of her future as a family.
... is present at the birth of the child (except for him external circumstances or the delicate stringing keep it from - then better not).
... tries to spend as much time as possible with his child right from the beginning and that on a regular basis.
... can do everything Mama can do - except breastfeeding. Winding a baby, bathing it or lulling it to sleep strengthens the bond on both sides.
... knows about rituals and celebrates them with the child: the evening sleep ritual is as much a part of it as is the ritual farewell in the morning or before longer business trips.
... plays with his child and turns himself into a bit again.
... can comfort his child because he trusts him.
... is a teacher for the child and teaches him how to build a toy block tower or a paper plane, but also how to get up after defeat and try again.
... says and shows his child that he loves it and is proud to have such a great kid.
... is interested in what the child does, how he spends his time, and what he does.
... knows the friends of his child.
... knows what his child likes to eat, what his favorite books or favorite movies are. He also knows what his child can not stand.
... does not leave his child in the dark. He informs him when he leaves, when he returns, and when other important decisions are made that affect the child as well.
... does not always give in to his child. He manages to be consistent when the situation requires it.
... feels - as annoying as the little ones can sometimes be - enriched by the child at his side.
Nobody is perfect - not even good fathers
Admittedly, the list is long and hardly a father will be able to fulfill all these points. He does not have to, because no one is perfect and no child wants a perfect father. What makes a good father is that he gives his best and gives the child the love, but also the limits, that it needs. As for boundaries, less is more, love can hardly be given enough unless it degenerates into overprotection. Be honest with your child, but also with yourself and openly admit mistakes. That makes you human and who behaves humanly, will usually be a good father for his children - and with all the rough edges that accumulates in the course of his life.
What do you think of this list? Did I forgot something? What else do you find important? I look forward to your feedback.
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I love your parenting posts, Bembel. I don't always get a chance to read all of them but I enjoy them so much when I do read them. Parenting should be worked on by both parents to have a relationship with each other and with the child that is healthy and loving. You always make such excellent points. Thanks for sharing!
Ivy
thx... Its good to know sometimes im doin right with this stuff.... Sometimes it feels wasted time if nobody give some Feedback... and You know a Blogwriter lifes from his Feedbacks :D
But in this time this Feedback feeeeeeeeed me so much
I'm so glad you liked it :)
I like leaving feedback so writers will keep writing good content because its appreciated.
Ivy
I'm assuming all this applies when you are a divorced parent? How do you go about being a good parent when your wife is leaving you and you know pretty soon you will see very little of your child any more? How will they know how much you love them when you aren't there? Is it best just to let go and let a new father step in and take over your role even if it breaks your heart so that the child has consistency? Sorry I'm not assuming you or anyone has the answers to this but I am struggling with this right now and don't know what to do it's tearing me in two
its on both parents to go the best way for the Kids... there is NO PERFECT after a divorce.... but all i can say is if you really want you will get a way... but dont left you self back as a noone. Go forward to get divorced doesnt mean you re not a DAD anymore... sometimes it needs time to get these steps one each other... but it doesnt mean it gets easy... but when all do a logical way once it get possible
Thanks, yes I suppose that you are right that the solution will have to evolve over time. It's hard trying to make a plan going forward though that will take both my welfare and that of my child in mind. It was so much easier when we were a family unit and everything we did was to support that.
first of all mus continuity ... that means you make appointments with each other are binding, every 2 weeks on the weekend the kids go to the partner so that the contact never breaks off and the kids also see that even if many things change a lot regularity is present. It is important to the FIXED appointments sometimes smaller OTHER dates to enable both for the one and the other partner ...
She's trying to get us to split half the year with one half with the other. This isn't healthy for a toddler right? Sorry for asking you personal questions but a divorce lawyer isn't going to be giving advice on what is healthy for a child and she won't discuss this in counseling.
here in my country its get this way i told before... and no a Half year here half year there isnt that good for a toddler this way you can go with a Teenager ;)
Best way get together find a middle say here cmon lets do a normal way i pick up our kid/s every 2 weeks on Weekends and every Thue between this days, so you can have some free days and i have my time also... we dont need to talk each other when we meet up then also we dont need to aggro us .. lets talk like ADULT , lets talk about what happens with and around our KID... maybe we re not that friends anymore we were but we have still this connection it have a NAME !!!
Thank you very much for the advice it has been very helpful
if there will be any questions around feel free to contact me.. smile...
I know we are in a time of many Changes...
Easrlier it was normal MOMS are perfekt for kids.. but im still say best are BOTH... and i love it to see there much a lot of Daddies who star this daddyism...
Earlier it was easy to say okay Man is on Work and the Women stand in hoime and manage this life behind the scenes... but it all changed mostly the women have to work too and bioth have less time to stay in a clear way up to the kids in this times, so we have to change it .. at first we need to see a child need BOTH parents ...nd not in a sometimes way.. nah it needs it everytime.. ( when you get Divorced it needs a hard start up but later it will egt in a good way when you did the first steps... Yeah i know mopstly a divorced pair dont wna to interact to each other, but that isnt only a pair... its a triple or quadrouple... and so on... so you HAVE TO get on a table and need this conversations...
get clear with yourself... dont waste time... go for it.. show here i am and i want to get a way for everyone of us....