Complaining, Disempowerment and Negative Feedback loops (Part 1)
We all know someone who seems to complain all the time. We may even be that person, and might not even realize it. Right now off the top of my head I can think of three people in my 3D life who are constantly complaining. It used to be a whole lot more, back when I just started working or back in school, it was almost everyone I knew. I didn’t even realize it. “Shootin the shit” is how we thought of it. We didn’t even realize that we weren’t fueling all of the things that we hated by focusing on them so compulsively.
How much of our complaining actually leads to things getting better? Much of our complaining goes on behind the backs of the people who we identify as the source of our problems. We like “venting”. This rarely accomplishes much. It could potentially get our thoughts in order but only if it leads to some kind of resolution and helps diffuse ourbbad moods. In most cases it just leaves everyone feeling worse than they started. It’s essential an obsession over feeling wronged.
Where does this behavior come from? Why is it so prevalent and why do we want to do it so much if it’s counter productive?
In general, the whole point of complaining is to justify a victim mentality
.....did you catch that? Think about it for a while. What does most of our complaining accomplish? It keeps us feeling like a victim. Why would we constantly engage in such counterproductive behavior? Well, because it’s all we know. It’s so normal, it’s almost as normal as chatting about the weather, and more interesting. That’s one of the ways that we have become accustomed to relating to other people. Don’t know what else to talk about? No problem, it’s always easy to find something to complain about. We lack imagination and some of us in English speaking countries feel that we always need to be talking and so this fear of silence is constantly pushing us to find something to say.
The other reason we do it is because we are disempowered, simply put. We have to slave through the school system in order to find a job, then we slave through our jobs, working for other people to earn a living. We spend countless hours doing tasks we don’t find very enjoyable, and we have bills and taxes and debt. It sounds like a total drag, right? And it is if you spend all your time and energy focusing on it.
Things can begin to change when we stop focusing on it.
Part 2
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by @skyleap
Instead of complaining we should be more concentrated to put more effort into doing things.
Summed up my whole article in one line :-)
I know a few people like this myself, it's hard to distance yourself from these people because they're like negative leeches that stick to you and suck the positivity and enthusiasm out of you.
People love to complain because it's easy. Complaining and ranting is easier than solving the problem, people who regularly complain are lazy and their self serving negativity just brings everyone down around them. Complaining is easier than admitting you have a problem, or you're stuck because it requires you to do nothing or change nothing.
The one thing I really hate is when people complain about how much they hate their job, then quit. Why stay in a job you hate? You're contributing nothing to the workplace, your taking a job that someone else might be appreciative and ecstatic to have instead. And to top it all off, people around you are sick of hearing you complain about your job.
Part 2 is about how I deal with them.
I can understand why people complain about their job, not all of us have a ready made way to make a living doing what we enjoy. I find that up until recently the things I was good at that I deserved to be paid for had no job title or required formal training and strict rules that took the fun out of it. But new possibilities ar opening up and the world is always bigger than we imagine too.
You forgot to link it at the bottom.
I realize, when I become aware I am complaining, that physically I feel slightly sick. If I focus on positive things, I feel better. Anyway, I liked what you said here.
I can understand. My back issues have only gotten better because I’ve stayed positive. Whenever I get into negative thoughts I feel noticeably worse and the healing process stops. So my whole positive attitude is not even a choice anymore haha I’ve had such big dreams for too long that if I don’t try to do what I love and help others and be positive, my body is going to kick my ass!
A positive attitude opens the door for so much. What's strange about it is that doesn't mean you have to be politically correct or polite(I think being polite is something to strive for) to be positive. Challenging people in appropriate situations, or holding ourselves accountable can seem mean or negative but is sometimes the best course of action, emphasizing to ourselves and others we deserve to treat ourselves and others well. Long-winded way of saying I support your success!
Seems to me our energy is better spent looking for solutions to our problems than complaining about them. But it's also very human to focus on what's wrong, rather than what's right.
Bright Blessings!
You can only focus on the negative for so long before it starts to fuel you to turn things around...some people wait many years or many lifetimes to turn it around though.
BREAKTHROUGH!