What’s Better than Fame? (Part 2)
Read part 1
Recently I’ve been experiencing a lot more attention at Steemit. For a long time I worried about this kind of attention. In fact, since I was young I had a deeply seated fear of being the center of attention. It wasn’t, as many would assume, an issue of insecurity and lack of self confidence. Those were issues but what got to me much more was a fear of being misunderstood. I decided early on that it would be better to be hated for what I was than loved for what I wasn’t.
This attention at steemit is different from my days as a local “rock star” though. I feel good about it. It isn’t fame. It’s respect and recognition. It’s exactly the kind of attention that I want. I’m not idolized and put on a pedestal. I’m friends and equals with so many others who are on their own roads to self empowerment. The people who respect me are others who respect themself too much to bow down to others, no matter how accomplished either side may be. They engage with others through conversations and share ideas and allow us to inspire each other.
I’ll give you some examples, and I apologize if it sound like I’m bragging, I’m just trying to make a point:
@clayboyn was one of the first people on my radar when I came to steemit. I loved his posts straight away. We have slowly been building a friendship and getting to know each other better through discord and he was one of the first to join us in #deepshit. To end up on his curation corner again or receive his resteem feels great and just the kind of recognition I love because I know he doesn’t just rub friends backs, he spreads what he feels is worthy of attention and he is someone who I greatly respect. The idea that perhaps my posts and ideas can inspire him the ways his inspire me is so incredibly fulfilling.
@brightstar has been one of my favorite writers on the platform since I found her. Her low payouts at the time were one of my main frustrations with the platform because she was so sincere and had so much to offer and was only getting a few cents per post. When she told me I was one of her favorite writers, I was so damn happy about that. It also kind of just felt right cause it was so damn reciprocal. Today I read her post, Four Steemit Innovators to Follow, where she lists me among the likes of @josephsavage, @taskmaster4450, and @kennyskitchen, what an awesome group to be thrown in with! These are all people who use whatever influence they have to empower others. It’s exaclty who I’d like to be associated with and I feel proud and honored, but also worthy. I’m so happy she’s getting more support now!
@guyfawkes4-20 and @macchiata are two good friends I’ve made at steemit and discord. The three of us discuss everything under the sun and have bonded a lot over the past few months. @macchiata once told me that she reread one of my posts (also about fame and my “fear” of it) multiple times, I was floored. @guyfawkes4-20 despite me having the head start has far surpassed me in his reach thanks to @adsactly and @sndbox. I’m really happy for him but also touched by the fact that he is constantly looking for little jobs and collaborations and excuses to send Steem my way. Both of them are a fair bit younger than I am and I might have more experience than they do, but I look at these two as my equals. They’re support means so much to me and I hope I can help them minimize the headaches of the road less traveled.
@ryvhinn and @vincentnijman have read nearly all of my posts, even the shitty ones! That in itself is enough to nearly bring me to tears, the fact that they share their opinions and experiences openly with me is icing on the cake. These are two truly beautiful human beings.
@rasamuel is someone else who I caught on his way in the door. I get the feeling he doesn’t see the two of us as equals quite yet (hope you don’t mind me saying so Ras), but I do. This guy has real talent with words and ideas evencif he is still growing into his skin. His praise means so much to me because I see what he is capable of. I love our growing friendship and can’t wait for him to start sharing his work with passion and confidence. You are a true artist, Ras, we are all excited for you to come out of your shell and I hope I’m not embaressing you here!
the old and new friends who are working to make #nobidbot and #steemitzombies a success, @tibra, @adarshh (this guys payouts are way too low, someone help me push them up a bit), @j3dy, warpedpoetic, @ameriespeaks, @simplymike, @isaria and a bunch of others are not just opportunistically kissing my ass, hoping I’ll kiss theirs, or turning me into the leader of a movement cause I thought of the concepts for #steemitzombies, #nobidbot and the deadpost initiative. We are brianstorming together about how to improve these projects and everyone is contributing to the community with a sense of equality and personal empowerment. It’s inspiring to engage in real collaboration even when the process is slow. Lots of others tag me to give me credit for these tags and initiatives but no one is making a huge deal of me, nor should they, because this is all a community effort and we are all deserving of recognition and respect for our participation.
Are you seeing a pattern here?
Respect from those that we respect is what we really desire, not fame. Recognition for our good deeds is what fills us up, not attention. Being a loved and respected member of a community of empowered individuals beats being the center of attention any day. No amount of admiration can fill the black hole that the ego creates. No amount of praise can ever really reach us if we aren’t learning to love ourselves. When we use our success to build a position of power, we may be able to control the environment, but we will never feel fulfilled. We thrive when we continuously inspire each other and use our power to empower others.
Come join the party and realize that we are all capable of greatness, starting with you.
Read Part 1
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Confessions of the Damaged - a collection of short stories
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by @skyleap
You've been doing great work; you deserve the recognition!
You too! For sure! Let me know when you start as a witness
Good to see you connecting with each other through this great platform. Would be so happy if I became a partner in your circle.
Glad to see you in the chat! I am spread thin sometimes but always check in. Lots of those other great people around though
"We thrive when we continuously inspire each other and use our power to empower others."
I like this approach and I try to do the same within my limited capacity. I have been following a few people who are making what I consider to be severely undervalued content. If I have the money I will pay to resteem their stuff but that is rare for me so I am usually limited to saying some encouraging words. I don't take any credit for this, but I saw two of them get hit by curie upvotes and that was satisfying to see. Other people (including yourself) have done the same types of things for me and that kind of drove me toward this attitude. It is my hope that if any of the people I helped out at some point find lasting success, they will use some of their power to help another person.
There are good creators on this site and if enough of us try to support each other, we could have a functional merit based economy that is something that I think is worth working toward. There is more though. There are good people on this site and engaging with them and learning about them and from them has a value that can't be measured in any currency or amount of attention.
You have a bright future here. Your writing and your attitude deserve credit. Just make sure not to give more than you have to give. You are allowed to enjoy the fruits of your labor as you pay it forward :-) Looking forward to knowing you better.
Thank you. That is true sometimes it is good to keep a little back but it feels good to help sometimes. One of those people I tried to help a little bit is going to be a star here in no time now that she has a following I see her making over an SBD on everything she posts without using any bots of any kind (come to think of it, I should tell her about nobidbot).
Same. I have met a handful of interesting people who I enjoy engaging with here and you rank among them. Most of the others are still pretty small but I see them going places too. Maybe I will do a "shout-out" post at some point and introduce them to my other followers but I should probably wait until I have a larger base because, if I am being honest, I still struggle to get a significant number of my followers to read my regular content.
Tell her! It’s really about consistent engagement or (and I hate to say this) people that have more time to read than you, either because they like reading more or because they post less. I sometimes feel a bit guilty that here some people are reading all my posts while I only read some of theirs but then I think about it and give myself some slack. I am fully prepared and working at being a full time writer/musician so eventually to some extent, I’m probably going to get more attention than I give, unless everyone is a large dolphin and I own my own land and all that then we can all just enjoy each other’s work and not work that hard. But I try! The feed and overwhelming amount of content doesn’t help, but I do try.
Everyone is spread thin here, you have to play around to figure out how to keep people’s attention. I dont do marketing but I realized US eastern 11 pm to 2 am is when more of my friends are awake and then there are a few who go out of their way to check out my work. You’ll get there. Commenting on others work right after you post helps too, they’re reminded of you.
Haha yeah I try to spend a little bit of time commenting after posting.
I saw that she had posted so I told her about it and I believe she posted another poem in nobidbot. Her user name is @zameena-zen she is pretty talented and doing remarkably well for someone so new to this site.
I feel your pain about not having time to read everything. I try to respond to comments and I only comment on what I read but I am following more than 500 people and my feed gets pretty full.
I also try to time my posts. I have a good amount of followers in Europe and the ones in the U.S. seem to be active in the morning so I try to post late too.
I just saw her page, seems like good stuff, I’ve got to listen to her music when I get home.
You seriously deserve your success and to be respected by the pears you respect!
Circles not pyramids :-)
It's no secret that I see you as nothing less than my zen master. Its uncanny how you always find a way to put into words thing I've been having so much trouble articulating. It's even worse now cos it's been getting worse putting my finger on things and as always you get them/me perfectly.
Until I get the fuck out of this abyss of spiritual, creative, psychological and existential darkness, we WON'T be equals. Maybe not even then. And there's not a lot of people I feel that way about. I appreciate the fact that you have and will be there for me when--not if--I need you.
And you're totally right about the mutual-respect, its WAY better than fame or idolization. Told you in the 1st part that its one of these things I feel but I can't articulate. Obviously thanks to you its gotten a little clearer. Sometimes I have this discuss with imaginary people, and sometimes real ones, where I tell them how much fame sucks but they always win cos I can't ever really show them. I only ramble. But it's so clear to me. You'd think as a writer I'd be able to make it clear to them. But I can't. I'm definitely in the wrong occupation. Lol.
Worst part is I used to understand it as a Keatsian Negative Capability, and maybe I still do and that's not the answer to the quandary. Either way, writing this long, meaningless ramble has helped me a lot. It's amazing how much rambling I've been writing these days, and how much they've helped lol.
Sorry for posting this ramble on your blog. I had to do it--for the same reasons I put them on my blog.
Cheers.
I break down sometimes haha. I’m no zen master, or maybe I’m just part time.
It’s just time and experience that sets us apart and more is not necessarily better, and then there are some experiences or combination of experiences that only you have and some things that only you can offer that no one else can.
I don’t think you need to put so much pressure on yourself, thinking you should be this way or that way to live up to this one or that one. I’m also trying to internalize this. When I write music I just hear “pop” and I hate it, but I don’t really hate the song, I just hate my idea of what that makes me...a damn pop folk singer urgh, such an aweful image. But the songs aren’t bad! So maybe I should just share them and be who I am even when it looks like something I don’t want it to look like. I’ll still be able to steer it in the direction I want and be who I want to be but I gotta be who I am right now first and own that and love that.
Ramble on if it brings clarity.
Do we have a circle jerk going here? 🤣🤣🤣
For real, though, I love this:
I’ve said a few times, I want to start a circle jerk, a new inclusive circle jerk that’s is continuously expanding outwards and looking for new people to jerk rather than bringing all the jerk to the people who got there first. It’s not the circle jerk that’s a problem, it’s the exclusivity.
hahahah Maybe we can change the word to circle rub.. no that sounds kind of creepy hmm... I do love the word jerk because I love hard sounding words but 'circle jerk' has some weird connection to a gross story I heard in middle school. Maybe i just need to say it outloud until it loses meaning. Like In Labyrinth when she says "You have no power over me" lol