Get rid of 'the gimmes' when shopping

in #dlike5 years ago

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If your kids get “the gimmes” in stores like mine do, you know how easily those little “Please Mom?” extras—like the cutesy carton of Goldfish crackers at the supermarket check-out or a Smencil at the toy store while you’re shopping for a birthday present—can pad the bill.

And in this economy, who can afford to fritter away a dollar here, two dollars there? I certainly can’t, so one of my missions lately has been to crack down on “gimme” spending. It’s good for me and it’s good for them.

“If you want your child to be able to delay gratification and be aware of the value of money, practice saying ‘no’ when he gets the gimmes,” says Jennifer Wolf, a Pathways parent coach in Grandville, Mich. “Once you stop giving in to his whining, he'll stop asking for things.”

Of course, I could avoid taking my kids with me, but that would mean I’d have to shop while they’re in school and I pretty much never do that because I’m a slave to my home office. So here are some things I’m trying in various situations to break my kids of the gimme habit:

Explain the purpose of the shopping trip. If we’re picking out a birthday present for a friend’s party, for example, I’ll explain before entering the toy store that we’re there to buy only one thing. Then I get my kids on board with the program. “OK, does everybody understand that we’re only buying Jack a birthday present today and not get anything extra?” (Heads nod.) Then, in the store, if they ask for something anyway, I’ll say something like: “OK, remember, we’re only buying a present for Jack today.” By giving them “the talk” on the way to the store and reminding them about the rules, they know what to expect and not get their hopes up. The talk seems to be working. Birthday present shopping has been going much better lately.

Blame it on the budget. “The talk” works for targeted shopping, but when you’re in the grocery store, I have found it to be less relevant. This statement: “We’re only going to buy healthy things today, remember, so that’s why we’re not going to buy fruit roll-ups” doesn’t fly so well. My kids have actually argued that fruit roll-ups are healthy because they have fruit in them. Nonetheless, I just don’t want to buy them.

What I've found works better is to make shopping a numbers game. I’ll tell my kids, for example, “Today our budget is such and such, so that’s why we’re not going to buy a whole box of fruit roll-ups.” Or I’ll say, “Our budget is X, so that’s why you can only get one treat, like some sugar-free gum, at the checkout or a movie from Redbox.” (Kids love the word “treat,” by the way. My kid’s fruit roll-up consumption is way down, too.)

Another tactic: Distraction. I love shopping at major supermarkets, the kind with the personal price scanners. My 8-year-old loves scanning prices so much that she’ll even forget to ask for fruit roll-ups.

Wish list it. If your kids ask for something and it’s their birthday or the holidays aren’t far off, tell them to put it on their wish list, and maybe someone will get it for them. Then make a mental note about what they want and pass hints along to friends and relatives. I used this tactic countless times in November and December. I’ll start up again in May as summer birthdays approach. You can also suggest that they start saving their allowance so they can buy it for themselves.

That’s what has been working for me so far. Do you have an effective stop-the-gimmes strategy? We’d love to hear from you.


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