Are You Chasing Someone Who is Just Not That Into You?

in #dlive6 years ago

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Now, this topic is really more for women, but this is very requested by women friend, but if you are a guy and watching this, i suppose this would be somewhat the same thing. I don’t really agree with chasing someone who is not really interested . because there are always reasons, why people are not interested - and it might not necessarily have anything to do with you . It’s just their preference. But, that being said, people do change their mind, so sometimes it's not a bad thing to be pursuing what you want sometimes it is meant for you to be chasing the relationship, because if you don’t , sometimes you never know. Obviously this is a case by case scenario.

In my opinion, i feel that a man who is a man, will pursue. Now that is my opinion - you are completely entitled to yours, and you don’t have to agree with me. Now it doesn’t mean that women don’t take the initiative, because I am all about stepping up, taking the initiative, even if it means texting first, i don’t have an issue with that - and even asking to meet up for the first date. cuz if i like you, i dont want to be mucking around wasting. But what if the person doesn’t feel the same? This is what this video is all about . Are you putting in way too much energy after that, messing up our own brains, and women, we do that all, let’s not even deny it.

but this video is really about us women, and knowing our space, knowing our boundaries -. Do we hang up our hats on chasing a man who is not that into us?

Girlfriend, if you are the chaser, go getter, high flyer, the knight on the galloping horse flouncing about with a sword, I respect you. Seriously, I do. I do, because I do the same shit.

In my career, my work life, with my passion projects and my creative pursuits, I wear the pants and I call the shots in my life. But when it comes to our relationships… girl, I am not too sure about it
and here’s why.

Unless you are a woman who won’t ever get tired of pursuing, feel free to keep pursuing men who aren’t really putting in the effort for you. But I can tell you from the get-go that women being women, we are simply not genetically engineered that way. Also, men are simple… ok maybe not so simple for us women to understand. BUT the simplicity of the masculine species is, when they really want something, they go get it. (Of course I am talking about the healthy, non dysfunctional ones, not the torn apart, traumatised ones - which is what we all want)

Men who really wants you, who are interested in you - will pursue you. Period.

Men are wired within their DNA to be the go getter, to fight for their territory and to make sure they spread their seeds. That also means they are wired to make sure that the woman they end up getting are what they deem to be the best fit for them. We are of course again talking about healthy, balanced men, not dysfunctional ones.

So honey, if you are the pursuer, you need to think twice about where you are putting your eggs in ( like literally) because you also need to be thinking about why you are chasing someone, who isn’t chasing you.

You might need to be asking yourself how you are feeling being the chaser and pursuer. Do you feel drained? What is it you are looking out to achieve from the potential “relationship”? Are you feeling fulfilled and satisfied? If the answer is no, (stares pointedly at the camera.)

Women are genetically wired to receive. If you think about it, even the structures of our organs, i.e
If you really think that you can be the pursuer, and the go getter all the time in the relationship, you might want to re-think again, and really tune in with how you feel. Of course, if you are really fine with it, then hey, do what makes you feel good. But if you feel constantly drained out, empty inside, then honey, you gotta rethink your options baby.

I am not telling you to not chase, in a relationship there is balance of the yin and the yang, the give and take, pushing, and giving space from both sides.
But I am telling you that even if you don’t take this advice to stop the pursuit and instead allow the man to step up to be the masculine man and start pursuing you, time will show you anyway. I know so, because I have been there, and done that and I was someone who is all about love, and I am that kind who is 100% all in and wanting to make things work.

What I can say is this, you can never ever do a job for the guy. A man needs to feel like he has won and pursued you, and made you his. If he doesn’t feel like he has earned you, the problem with that is, he won’t treat you like the valuable, precious diamond that you are. If you are serious about wanting a quality man in your life who treats you with respect, then really it’s high time you start respecting yourself first.

Way too often I hear girlfriends telling me how they have hopes for a relationship to happen, but the reality was, the guys are merely hitting them up for booty calls - or stringing them along with possibly various other women. It doesn’t mean that because you don’t see it, that it is not happening, unfortunately.

I urge you to watch my video on 5 early dating warning signs - and to make sure that you don’t get yourself into that form of entrapment. Get your ass of this motherfucker, open your dating options, and start allowing yourself date someone better who would treat you like the queen that you really are.

My video is at DLive

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Keep in mind that what one woman perceives as positive pursuit, another views as harassment. As every woman has a different view of how far they want the man to go with regard to the initiation of contact, every man has to decide how far he is willing to push, and thus risk offending and irritating her. If you only go for those men who are in favour of pushing all the way, then you're going for the men who don't care about who it is they anger. Another word for these men? Jerks. The kind of rude and unconscientious individuals who will happily stomp on those around them so long as there's a vague possibility of their obtaining something. On the opposite extreme are the pushover guys, those who won't risk offending due to their unwillingness to risk angering anyone. Most guys fall somewhere in between. Depending on the extent that you want a pushover versus a jerk, you'll need to decide what it an acceptable level of pursuit. Another thing to consider however; if you're entirely in favour of allowing them to chase you endlessly then there's another term entirely for such men. Desperate. True, you ought to be with someone who clearly wants to be with you, but don't expect a man to continue to chase after you after receiving many negative signals. Such a man either has so constricted a social group as to be incapable of finding anyone else to be with, or has received such negative signals from others that he perceives your slightly negative signals as positive.

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