No, this is not the same silly "self-help" BS you've heard over and over

about not comparing yourself with others in regards to success, possessions, lifestyle, fitness, or whatever.

Today I wanna talk about what I view as kind of the inverse of all that. The fact that in order to be compassionate one has to accept oneself. Even the parts of yourself that seem impossible to love. The parts you loathe and despise most about yourself.

Part of this process includes not only not comparing yourself to the "postitives" of others (cars, clothes, body, success, money, etc), but also avoiding the "negative positives."

i.e. He's got such a hard life and still seems happy and hardworking. What the fuck is wrong with me? My life is much easier than his and I am still depressed. I must just be useless and lazy.

I am convinced that as long as we speak to ourselves in this way, we'll never get anywhere. Our problems and emotional struggles--though they may seem small or "no problem" for others--are very real to us. And until we acknowledge, accept, and integrated that understanding, there is no real way to go forward.

It's not about comparison, even when it comes to negatives (this is why I find so many of the "look at this poor guy, you should be grateful!"- type self-help videos to be very counterproductive in a very real sense. While it is important to maintain perspective, it is equally as important to acknowledge our own pain and feelings, no matter how "trivial" the topic, or how "big" or "small" our problems may be.

Join me in the LIVE chat and I'll expound.

~KafkA

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Graham Smith is a Voluntaryist activist, creator, and peaceful parent residing in Niigata City, Japan. Graham runs the "Voluntary Japan" online initiative with a presence here on Steem, as well as DLive and Twitter. (Hit me up so I can stop talking about myself in the third person!)

My live stream is at DLive