Restless - A Story of Academic Failure

in #dream6 years ago (edited)

I dragged myself into my academic counselor's office - ashamed and dejected. Academics had always been a strength of mine, but this semester was disastrous. I could not even remember when the train derailed, but now I was off track. I had lost all hope, and I was ready to plead for mercy.

My scholarships were at risk. My future was at risk, and I had to beg for help from someone I had only met a few times before. It was a joke to think that we had shared a genuine relationship. Just because her job description said counselor did not mean that she had mentored me. We had only met once a semester - 3 times at most.

I explained as best I could, but the details were lost in a thick fog.

  • She started asking when the problem starting happening. I could not remember.
  • She asked which classes I was having problems with. Still blank.
  • She asked why I came to visit. All I knew is that I was failing three of my classes.

I could not remember the name of the class, its location, or the professor who taught it. It was as if any memory had been erased, lost in Neverland. How could I fall so far down the rabbit hole and not ask for help? How could I be so irresponsible? No matter how hard I tried, I could find no explanation for this irrational behavior.

I was destined to fail. Life would never be the same. Life as I knew it was over.

And then ... I woke up!



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source


I have had the same reoccurring nightmare at least 3-5 times a year since I graduated from college in 2002. I not only graduated, I had a nice GPA, but occasionally I wake up terrified. I wake up in fear that something I know to be true never happened.

Last night's details were a bit different from dreams in the past.

  • I was failing 3 classes instead of 1.
  • I was seeking advice from a counselor.

Some details remained the same.

  • I did not know the names of the classes I was failing.
  • I did not know which buildings the classes were located.

How many more years will this haunt me? What am I running from? Why does failure strike so much fear in the recesses of my mind?

I don't have any answers, but if I find them in my dreams, I will be sure to write another post.


I want to hear from you!

Let's continue the conversation in the comments section.

  • Do you have a reoccurring​ dream?
  • Do you know the meaning of your dream?
  • Do dreams plan an important role in your culture?

Thanks for stopping by!

@SumatraNate

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It suggests to me you may feel unprepared to handle some problem you're trying to solve -- or that you feel overwhelmed by a situation you're facing. That you're seeking a counselor's help may say you're open-minded and ready to accept suggestions or help. (Have you tried opening or fortifying the spiritual / psychological parts of your life? Connecting with that "something greater than you are" who could possibly help?)

I have recurring dreams on a similar theme. It's the week of final exams ... and I suddenly discover I have one scheduled for that day in a class I forgot I was taking. (It's always some kind of science or math or statistics class.) I haven't attended the class once all semester. I don't even know what building it's in. I have to go to the registrar's office in the administration building to even get that much information. That's the point where I always wake up.

(This dream setting always takes place at Texas Tech, the first college I went to in the years just before a pivotal change in my life.)

I see this dream as saying I'm not really "prepared" to deal with a world based on logic, quantifiable "problems," rote learning or often meaningless "organization." I'm often amused to see that scientists, "poll numbers," and other left-brain features often make these bald, flat statements of "fact" like they've got a monopoly on truth -- and later these turn out to be only part of the picture, if not outright wrong.

"There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, Than are dreamt of in your philosophy."

In my dreams though I'm not alarmed and depressed like you are. More annoyed with myself for not dropping the class early on.

Thank you for stopping by and leaving a response. My faith is an important part of my life. I also try to strengthen my mind and soul. But admittedly my family and I have experienced a lot of change lately.

I will be sure to think through the general nature of the classes the next time this happens. That is an interesting point.

This reoccuring dream does disrupt my sleep because I wake up more tired than when I went to bed. Thanks for stopping by. Much appreciated!

I used to have dreams with variations on the theme of somehow failing in college or forgetting about a class and not showing up for it until most of the semester was over.

I haven't had those dreams for a while now.

I don't really think about dreams that much, but I don't ignore them either. Mostly I don't remember the details of my dreams after I wake up, with a few rare exceptions. I do remember general feelings or scenes, and sometimes they are called to mind during the waking hours. One of those, "did that happen, or did I dream that?" moments.

I have had moments where I thought "Did that happen?"

Sometimes it feels like I live out a moment and then dream about it. Other times I dream something and then it seems to happen in my "awake world."

How interesting! Dreams absolutely fascinate me. I do have a couple of recurring dreams, and I think I know exactly what they mean. One of them involves nervously getting into a lift, and as soon as the door closes, it starts to plummet to the ground. Another involves watching in horror as a plane crashes.
I've had these dreams (or nightmares) very occasionally for years, and they always, always occur when I'm worried about my career or livelihood. It's as if my subconscious is saying, "Everything's crashing down!"
Another dream that I've had just two or three times, is that to my horror, I fall into a swirling maelstrom of choppy dark water. However once I'm in the water, it doesn't feel cold and I'm easily and comfortably swept along. That one's easy to interpret. It's about letting go, surrendering instead of trying to fight change, and just going with the flow.
I don't know what your dream means, but I generally find the best way to interpret vivid, meaningful dreams is to look at the feelings, the emotions around them, and to compare that with what's going on in your life when they happen.

Wow! All of your dreams focus on falling. It is interesting that you understand what life events trigger your dream.

I plan to think through this process more. I know that a lot of change has been happening in my life recently. That might be a good place to start.

Falling - that's a good point! I'd never thought of it that way. Maybe I find it hard to let go. Dreams are such an interesting topic. Definitely worth thinking more about – why not sleep on it!

oh my goodness - as I was reading the first half... i was thinking THIS SOUNDS LIKE A DREAM THAT I'VE HAD OFTEN!!!!!!!!!!

that is so crazy hahahahaha it was YOUR dream too!!! :)

yes - i do have recurring dreams often! Most of the recurring ones are the bad ones! LOL the other dreams are good. I do dream fairly often, so I wonder if this is just one of those drawbacks to dreaming often! hehehehe

I usually DO know the meaning of my dreams - and that's because I spend a lot of time analyzing... well.... everything. hahahaha I overanalyze EVERYTHING in my life - so dreams are no exception.

but dreams DO play an important role in my life. It's because my brain is often dealing with things in my subconscious that I'm not acknowledging in my conscious mind! So - the brain takes over - once again! hehehe

but i've been known to wake up to problems - fully solved, songs - fully written, stories - completely outlined.... all because of my dreams! I just have to wake up quickly and grab a pen and paper and start scribbling out everything that was given to me during the night!

great post! hehehehehe

It is great that you have a balanced dream experience. I am also intrigued that you wake up from a dream with solutions problems.

I have heard that it is good to have a pencil and paper beside your bed. That way you can capture thoughts if you wake up in the middle of the night.

i had to giggle, this is kind of funny but only bc i dont have many recurring dreams.

usually it means unsettled business and not necessarily to do with the subject matter.

  1. rarely.
  2. yes.
  3. yes.

blessings,
eagle spirit

I glad you enjoyed the post. When I wake up it takes me a few moments to remember that I actually graduated. Once I get over the initial shock then I am good again.

When I was younger I remembered my dreams. But now, I don't even know if I dream anymore.... Could it be I am so tired or I am not sleeping well enough to be in deep sleep to dream...
I hope you get your answers to your recurring dream. Maybe if you put out an intention before you go to sleep for the dream to reveal the end result.... I wonder if that works...

My family and I have been experiencing a lot of change lately. I am sure that the change is impacting my sleep. I would love to find the answer. Guess I need to sleep more to find out :)

Sounds like a good plan haha

My recurring dream is common, I think most people has had it one time or another - all my teeth falling out!

I have never dreamed about that! Wow! I hope I never do.

It is? I have had those dreams just didn’t know it was common.... hmmmm so I am not special haha

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