Don't Give It To Me, Help Me Earn It

There's nothing more gratifying than moving along knowing that you deserve it. Not only because you make it, but also because you find worth residing in you.

Though life teaches us that we cannot go on totally indifferent to other people around us because like it or not, the results of our actions are always impregnated of interventions, directly or indirectly, from others. The hermit who lives deep in the forest has to go now and then to the nearby town to get some supplies. So, he counts on other people to provide him what he needs.

Therefore, this tie keeps us connected in way no matter IF we don't have a close relationship with a particular society. We as a species can disperse, have different viewpoints and perceptions, but the way this mundane life is conducted pulls us into the swings of things.

And while we're in it, challenges and situations emerge in our path, prompting us to look for help if necessary. But do we rush to call for help at the first sign of trouble? And what kind of help do we expect?

Get back on the bicycle

When we're learning how to ride a bicycle, we fall from it many times. We can cry and call for mom and dad to console us or we can dust off our arms and legs and carry on.

If we choose the first option and run looking for our parents, they have two alternatives. To tell us to get on it again or to patronize us.

This moment is essential because whatever stimulus we get from our parents, our decision will leave an influence in the psyche, determining our behavior and personality.

The help is the star not the cart

Good parents want the best for their sons and daughters. And they will try to give everything in order to make them happy without compromising integrity and dignity. But there comes a point when parents must get off their children's hands and let them take the wheel.

Then parents become a guidance presence that supports, injecting energy and confidence. This is part of the natural course of growing. Learning reaches a phase where the person discovers his/her potential and learns to "ride the bike alone."

That's why most of the inspiring stories have left a mark in all of us. How many times have we marveled at watching biopic movies about people overcoming their problems? These films have one thing in common. The characters earn their success because the help they receive was not merely things given. It was sheer motivation and encouragement.

You become stronger as you go

Once we realize that the best help is the one we give to our-self, we resort less on somebody else. That's why many successful people say that they could lose everything one day, and then come back and recover it again. And this is not a reference about material things (they are consequences). It's the throbbing grit A kind of perception about life that everyone hold the willpower to overcome difficulties.

So, when you don't have that helping hand around, you're aware of your sole presence. That is, you're your best help, and most confident friend. As beings with the capacity to adapt, we can find solutions that don't require the direct intervention of others.

Recently, I read a post from @iamthenerd where a quote from Tony Robbins resonated in my head. It reads:

"Happiness is found in the absence of expectation and a continuous focus on appreciation.” - Tony Robbins

He couldn't express it any better. We sometimes expect from people to deliver everything. And this way of thinking gets the worst from us. It fills us with laziness and complacency, giving us a wrong sense of conquering.

Asking for help is easy

Resorting to somebody else is a tempting impetus. And if the opportunity is presented, our brain boosts us to do it even if our heart beats rapidly as if it were alerting us that we must first exhaust our problem solving ability.

We live in a world where many people take the easy path which doesn't require effort and dedication. We can even see them rise to the top. But before following that route we should ask us whether it is a road made of virtue or it is something which is just given.

And I'm not saying that we don't have to take the opportunities offered along the way, but the value of any recognition we might receive will be always based on merit.

Building character

Helping is a noble act, especially when it is required for someone else. But before we offer it, we must think first what "push" he/she needs. No help is worth if the person will get used to it. We will be creating a dependable human being with no sense of personal growth.

Therefore, help cannot not be a patch on a tire. It must transcend beyond the current problem, and show the person in need what way to go as the glowing star, which doesn't come down to help directly, but it remains on top providing guidance in the darkness.

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@edave

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