What does it mean to own your emotions? Ecotrain QOTW

in #ecotrain6 years ago

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Owning your emotions could mean many different things to different people, but to me it's the freedom of being yourself.

You decide who you want to be.

And live that. You deserve to be you in all your full technicolor glory.

Or maybe that should in all your HD glory, these days.

I wear my heart on my sleeve and I will tell and demonstrate to people that I care about them, even though sometimes it is the wrong person.

I have done it here on Steemit, fallen prey to nice words and false friendship.

Wasn't the first time, doubt it will be the last.

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Scammed on Steemit

I read about this guy who was down on his luck and left regular comments of support on his posts.

I even contributed to one of this campaigns on some fundraising site and followed him on Facebook too.

So we had a few comment conversations and he seemed a nice guy, just down on his luck a bit.

One day he decided to set up a Discord Group called the Unmentionables and asked me to be one of the moderators for that group.

He put the backs of some people who sensed his real personality I think and they either left or got booted from the group, but at the time I put this down to personality clashes.

We’d (text) chat lots on Discord and got to know each other a little more.

I asked for some help for a website I wanted to work on as money would have helped him and the website would have been an interesting business venture, that never came about anyway.

One month later, nothing was done on it so there was a bit of an argument, that turned personal and that resulted in me getting my money back.

But we moved past that and remained friends.

Then it came to the time that he was to come to SteemFest in Portugal. He got to Portugal, then he disappeared.

He didn’t turn up to it.

We were all worried about him in the group and I asked people at SteemFest to ring around the hospitals and he was located in one of them.

I got the phone number and I rang him up and he was in a bad way.

He had a fit and almost died and was now in the hospital and his phone had been stolen, whilst he lay helpless.

I gave him my credit card details so he could get internet access on the laptop he still had and the card details were never used again, so to his credit, he was honest then, which is just as well as it is nearly always maxed out anyway.

Everything went pair-shaped for him, he ran out of money, he was homeless and I ended up inviting him to stay here in UK for a little while till he got back on his feet.

Immigration declined his entry into the UK, which was a blessing in disguise in the end for both him and me.

He was to be put on the plane to go back to Portugal that evening, but he had another 'fit' and was hospitalized.

This meant he was put into the immigration detention centre and I arranged to visit him there.

So we met, he seemed okay considering circumstances. Very twitchy, which he put down to that fact he was denied meth, here in the UK.

I was so devastated at the time that all this extra shit was happening to him. But the day after the visit, they put him back on a plane to Portugal.

His mum couldn’t bear the thought of him being homeless again in Portugal, so she paid for his trip home to the United States.

I had arranged for a phone to be sent to him, to help him get access to all his 2-factor authentication stuff and took at a pay next year credit out on it, as I trusted that he would pay it back - he had a whole year to do it and we were friends. Why wouldn't he?

This way he could get access to his cryptocurrencies and start paying back his debts (so he said).

But when he got to the US, that was pretty much the last I heard from him. I’d served my purpose. I guess now he wasn’t languishing in some hostel, with 'the down and outs' somewhere in Lisbon, I’d served my purpose as a friend and stupid sap.

It hurts more I guess, as he gains trust and is not just a faceless scammer, but a scammer all the same.

In the new year, in the Unmentionables it became obvious that bot money (funded by other people's delegations) was not being used to help the community, but being used to help himself.

So a new group was formed and the regulars of the Unmentionables were informed quietly and moved to the new Discord server.

A few days later @fatpandadesign shut the Unmentionables forever.

And that was the end of that unfortunate scamming scenario, but it wasn’t…

@therealwolf revealed recently how the scams, the lies, and the sob stories continued and outed him for scamming on Steemit and a new gaming Discord group this time.

It seems that I got this one completely wrong.

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So yes, owning your emotions and wearing your heart on your sleeve doesn’t always work out for the best.

But I have led my whole life like this and its not about to change. I am just a little more wiser and wary.

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So Owning Your Emotions...

Owning your emotions is about not being afraid to embrace who you are.

The good bits and bad bits.

Taking the rough with the smooth.

Obviously, I’m not very good at picking the right people to support at times.

But with groups like @eoctrain and @tribesteemup and @steemiteducation, I’m going in a better direction.

And also with supporting @malos10 and @youarehope, my heart can be worn on my sleeve intact and my mini mission of making a difference can continue.

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What you see is what you get.

Wouldn’t it be good if all people were like that?

Then you’d know the people to connect with and those to avoid.

Yes, sometimes I’m so shy it takes a wrench to open the clam that is me, but I work on that daily - its one of my battles.

To those who just say “hi” and nothing else on Discord or send me a link straight away, I don’t answer or I block.

So some boundaries have to be made, as I am only me and there are so many people in the world, I can’t help all the people I’d like to and that is also something I struggle with.

So I try to pick and choose.

Fate decides a lot of time. Everything happens for a reason.

But my guards are up these days a little more, a few lessons learned.

Maybe not quite the answer that I first envisioned, but my answer all the same.

With <3 @hopehuggs

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I am sorry to hear you had that bad experience but it was a lesson and you came out stronger and wiser from it. You picked the good ones this time and will love them I am sure 💚💚💚

thanks for sharing this story.. it sucks to be scammed, and its so easy to let this close our hears and stop trusting.. but that is ever more sad.. you did the right thing by trying to help someone, and im sure you will learn some lessons but continue to be amazing and supportive.. much love!

Oh such a crazy story! Sorry you got mixed up with someone like that... scammers come in all sorts of shape for sure. I still believe that there are many more good people on our planet than bad ones.

It is nice to see how you cone out of this experience a little wiser and wary. I just heard someone say the other day Trust but Verify, it was referring to economics but I think we can bring it out to any situation. One cannot live trusting no-one without livong in constant fear of everything and everyone... I don't know, I liked it.

Keep your guards up, and don't be afraid to wear your heart on your sleaves. This was by the way (at least for me) a great answer to Owning you Emotion auestion.

Thank you for the read

@hopehuggs, i am happy you are now wiser and stronger when it comes to dealing with people. I concur with you that the people of @ecoTrain are a bunch of wonderful people who give life more meaning, purpose and direction.

Oh that's the real story of what happened to that guy and yes you are right wearing your heart on your sleeve doesn't always work out in your favor.

My eyes were bigger and bigger as I was reading your post.

Sadly , yes, scam is something that touch good people sometimes, but keep your good heart and faith, there's a lot of good people outside. And as long as I've seen, you'll get to them or them to you, don't be afraid, everything is gonna be ok. ;)

Drugs do bad things to good people... I also had a friend simillar to him, he used his friends for everything, used and abused us to get money, to get a home, to get everything, in the end when we realized how toxic he was we had to let him go, he went away for a while changed city and got his life back on track, after that he came back and tried to reconnect with us, he allowed him a little bit to reconnect with us, but he made the mistake of coming back to the city where his mom lived... his drugs problems were all connected to his mom, also a drug addict, he lived in my city for 5 more months before having a OD and dying...

Don't know where i'm going with this just wanted to share that trusting wrong people is normal, even if we are carefull we are not always 100% right, so sooner or later we will trust in someone that we shouldn't!

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