How do you know when it is time to give up on something? - EcoTrain Question Of The Week
Giving up is not something I am good at, I have a warrior spirit and I will fight for what I think is right, for what I think is important. I generally follow my gut instinct when it comes to making decisions in life, if something doesn't feel right then I don't do it. But what about when it is something that you have been doing for a long time. We change all the time, I am not the person I was last year, and my desires and needs change with that.
It has been almost a year since I broke up with my ex partner, the father of my children. Things had not been going well for us for quiet a while. But we were a family and I really wanted us to stay a family, even though I knew that things were not good. We had grown a part, but then who's to say we could not grow together again.
When two people come together, you need to work alongside one another, make compromises for one another, listen to one another and grow together. Both, need to feel heard and appreciated. Because we change and evolve all the time and if you can not accept the person you are with for who they are and for who they are becoming , then that relationship will start to fall apart.
It takes a lot of work, but with that work you have someone to share your life with, that in itself is something beautiful and sacred. Two people coming together from a place of love and working with one another to let that love grow and expand, alongside their own growth and expansion.
I so wanted that with my ex, that was the vision I had, but the reality was very different. Yet I held onto that vision and I continued to work towards it, until I just could not any more and we grew apart. A huge void grew between us and because of the different things that were happening in my life, I did not have the energy to try and improve or change it. I just stayed in that loveless relationship, trying to convince myself that it would work out, that I actually loved some one that I no longer did. I kept that vision of what I wanted foremost in my mind and ignored the reality that was right in front of me. I wanted a happy family for my girls, but in the end me and my partner were anything but happy.
So what made me give up on it?
In the end it was my partner that broke away, he started a relationship with a much younger woman whilst I was caring for my sister in Ireland. I knew in my heart that I should have given up on our relationship a long time before this, but I didn't, even though I knew I should have. I just kept visualizing what I wanted our relationship to be.
It's funny really, I write a lot about how important it is to be present, to live in the moment. I write this as much to remind myself as anybody else. Knowing something and then acting upon it, are two very different things indeed. Especially when it involves matters of the heart.
I have learnt so much and grown so much in this last year and in the end that is what it is all about! Keep learning, keep moving forward. Life is full of challenges and we all must do the best we can, but sometimes it is not so easy to just walk away. Especially when it is more than that just our hearts that are involved.
This is my response to theEcoTrain Question Of The Week , "How do you know when it is time to give up on something?". Make sure to check out some of the other responses posted under the ecotrain tag.
8 Pillars of TribeSteemUp
Absolutely agree with you... You have gone through so much but you learned a lot... Sometimes in some situations we are kind of blind or act like blind even though we know the reality but we try hard till end ... It's not failure, it's just that it was not for us... Atleast we tried our best and it's an inspiration for our life to move forward and won't look back...
thank you @priyanarc xx
I understand you. It's really tough to give up on something we really love or want for our life. But we have to. My blog is also full of motivation which is actually part of my self motivation.
I hope you find the right way and wish have a happy life.
I have found the right way, just letting time heal, thanks @rem-steem x
You've done very well. You've grown in spite of everything you've been through this past year and above all you've been there for your girls, as well as they have probably been there for you. Ending a relationship is not easy, especially when children are involved, and the way your ex dealt with it, was not a way we wish on anyone really. Not really fair to end a relationship by cheating. But I've seen you rise up since that and take back your life to make it into something better. I have a lot of respect for you miss! Thank you for sharing your story.
thanks so much lovely, we both have had a tough one I know, always great to get our support, much love to you xx
El amor no siempre es reciproco, a veces solo nos dedicamos a amar y nos sentimos bien haciéndolo, y no nos damos cuenta de que la otra persona no siente lo mismo. Buen articulo.
gracias @erilej xx
Oh no! Ideally I'd always say it's better to end an unfulfilling relationship than cheating, or let alone being cheated on... Making it work is preferable still, provided that is even possible. But being stuck in an unfulfilling relationship is worse than any of the above. Unfortunately, the best and the worst options are so close together.
Posted using Partiko Android
yes it would have been better to end up but I can't really comment on that only to say it was a difficult thing to deal with. But I am in a much better place now, thanks @stortebeker xx
you have been through so much! and i think you found the golden nugget of the QOTW with the point:
"I write this as much to remind myself as anybody else. "
Thanks so much for sharing this.. <3 xxx
thanks Alex, for you words and endless support over the last year and more, it means so much to me xx
Thanks so much for sharing this.... @trucklife-family
Posted using Partiko Android
de nada @matthewtonyit
This must have been sad but it surely made you strong, you grew up.