Why do parents often compare children?

guada1 (59)in #edu-venezuela • 5 years ago

The tendency of parents to compare their own children with those of other people (or even with the child's own siblings) actually departs from the most basic human instincts.

SourceHumans have never been separated to compare something with others. This is actually a rational way of thinking to be able to know and distinguish between good and evil. Like it or not, all this happens under your subconscious.

That is why parents often compare their children with their friends, so that the child can become a better person after receiving an "example".

But even though it is natural and normal, is this method good for children?

Each child has different skills or talents. Just because a child can not do activities that are done at his age, do not rush to judge. Do not compare children too, because when your life is full of the words "how you can not" it will make the child depressed.

Source"Compared to that, it's not really allowed, since it will make children not develop their skills, but only match someone"

Children will feel worse than other children in their environment. As a result, they will not have confidence in themselves.

When children are forced to perform skills that have not been mastered, what is created is a stressful environment for the child. What parents should do is direct, and not force the child to become a teacher who can do anything.

If you compare, you force yourself to master something, besides not having confidence, in children. "He also lives a life without joy.

SourceEach child has the potential and the talent of each one. The sensitivity of parents and teachers is needed here in an effort to develop the talents of children. Instead of comparing, parents and teachers should appreciate the skills children have.

It is important to introduce more and more varied activities in children, so that their interests and talents can be seen.

The comparison is not totally prohibited. When the comparison generates a constructive contribution or a criticism, it can actually improve the child.

But, do not let the child feel overwhelmed and depressed because his parents compare him to other children. "It is better to transmit deficiencies immediately, because often listening to comparisons can affect your confidence." For example, when a child does not successfully complete the goal according to school age, the child must be guided and encouraged to be better. "So it's better to guide than to compare."

Effects of comparing children with other children

Source

1. Children doubt themselves.

Only by continuing to compare without really giving them the opportunity to improve, will children eventually make them doubt themselves. Especially to know that there are other people who are superior to him.

2. Children feel jealous.

When you continue to compare yourself with other children who are better, children naturally feel jealous because there are people who are clearly "favored" by their own parents.

The jealousy that has been fed since childhood is not good for children's mental health because it can cause resentment, hostility or deep disappointment for them and their parents and friends.

3. Children become negative thoughts.

Initially children can be encouraged to be better. But if he never appreciates his efforts to continue comparing children with others, he never feels proud and satisfied with what he does. He will be affected by negative thoughts that he will never achieve because he continues to be worried and he is afraid of failing. As a result, he did not believe in his own abilities and it got worse.

4. Relationships between parents and children become tenuous.

Continuing to say that there are always other people who are better than them for a long time can cause misunderstandings. Children may feel insulted, cornered, unattended and never supported by their own parents to be better people. You can also assume that you do not love him.