Positive strategies to manage aggressive behavior in young children.

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Source

1. Quiet attitude in case of minor aggression.

In cases where the aggression of children and adolescents is not dangerous and explainable, the following positive strategies can be used:

• total disregard for the child's reactions is a very powerful way to stop unwanted behavior;
• expression of understanding of the child's feelings ("Of course, you are offended ...");
• changing attention, suggesting a task ("Help me, please, prepare dinner");
• positive behavior designation ("You are angry because you are tired").

2. Focus on actions (behavior), and not on the individual.

After the child calms down, it is advisable to discuss his behavior with him. He must describe how he behaved during the manifestation of the aggression, what words he pronounced, what actions he took, without giving any evaluation.

Critical comments, especially emotional ones, cause irritation and protest, and avoid solving the problem. When analyzing a child's behavior, it is important to limit ourselves to a discussion of specific facts, only of what happened "here and now", without remembering past actions.

Otherwise, the child will have resentment and will not be able to critically assess his behavior. Instead of the generalized but ineffective "reading of morals," it is better to show him the negative consequences of his behavior, convincingly demonstrating that aggression harms him the most.

It is also very important to indicate possible constructive forms of behavior in a conflict situation. One of the important ways to reduce aggression is to comment with the child. For this, the following techniques are used:

• statement of fact ("you behave aggressively");
• asking ("are you angry?");
• disclosure of the reasons for aggressive behavior ("Do you want to offend me?", "Do you want to show strength?");
• revealing one's feelings about unwanted behavior ("I don't like when they talk to me in that tone", "I get angry when someone yells out loud");
• appeal to the rules ("We agree with you!").

3. Control over your own negative emotions.

Source
Specialists and parents should carefully control their negative emotions in situations of interaction with aggressive children. When a child shows aggressive behavior, it causes strong negative emotions: irritation, anger, resentment, fear or helplessness.

Adults need to recognize the normality and naturalness of these negative experiences, to understand the nature, strength and duration of the feelings that prevail over them. When an adult man controls his negative emotions, he does not reinforce the aggressive behavior of the child, maintains good relations with him and demonstrates how to interact with an aggressive person.

4. Reduction of stress situations.

The main task of an adult facing child aggression is to reduce the stress of the situation. For this it is necessary:

• Do not raise your voice, do not change the tone to threatening;
• not show power ("It will be as I say");
• Do not shout, do not take aggressive poses and gestures: clenched jaws, crossed hands or joints, conversation with clenched teeth;
• Do not use sarcasm, ridicule and mimicry;
• Do not use a negative assessment of the personality of the child, family members or friends;
• Do not use physical force;
• Do not drag strangers into the conflict;
• do not insist on being right;
• don't read annotations, sermons;
• Do not make generalizations such as: "Everyone is equal", "You, as always ...", "Never ...";
• Do not compare the child with other children.

5. Treatment of a child after aggressive behavior:

To find an appropriate form of punishment after a clear explanation of their misconduct; look for a way out by redirecting its energy in a socially correct way; it must be remembered: frequent punishments are ineffective and impunity is spoiled even more; devise new methods to change a child to new types of relationships (play, self-service, etc.).

6. Teach a child techniques and methods to manage his own anger.

Source
Development of control over destructive emotions:

• Crumple and tear the paper.
• Beat a pillow or a punching bag.
• Write on paper all the words you want to say, crumple and discard the paper.
• Rub plasticine on cardboard or paper.
• Count to ten.
• The most constructive: sports games, running. The water well eliminates aggression.

Los niños necesitan saber que todas sus emociones son aceptables y normales, incluso la ira. Todos se enojan en un punto y quieren hacer cosas hirientes. Como adultos, podemos ayudar a los niños a aprender a controlar lo que hacen y dicen, incluso si están muy enojados o molestos en ese momento. Es una habilidad excepcional para la vida reconocer que estás enojado, controlar esa emoción de manera positiva y actuar de manera segura, independientemente de tus sentimientos internos.

Source of information:

https://www.zerotothree.org/resources/1861-mi-hija-de-17-meses-ha-comenzado-a-querer-darme-golpes-cuando-no-consigue-lo-que-quiere
http://www.revistamipediatra.es/articulo/266/tecnicas-de-control-de-la-agresividad