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Have you ever been in a situation where you felt totally alone without a friend in the world? Have you ever felt as if you don't fit in anywhere? 

Have you ever done something or felt pressure to do something even though you know that it is wrong, but you still do it, just because others do it? 

For sure you have, because it is human nature to follow others.  If you have done anything because someone else told you to, you have been a victim of peer pressure.   

Peer pressure is the direct influence on people by peers, or the effect on an individual who gets encouraged to follow their peers by changing their attitudes, values or behaviors to conform to those of the influencing group or individual. This can result in either a positive or negative effect, or both.

As we grow up our peers are our immediate family.  The people that you follow and learn from.  You follow your parents or your siblings because of the example they are.  Later when you go to school or are in an environment with new people, you make new friends and you follow their examples.  As humans we are copy cats.  We often do things just because other people are doing it.  

Life has become so messed up that we often don’t know what is right and what is wrong anymore because everything has just become acceptable.  An important skill to learn is to make the right friends. The right friends can influence you positively and this can have a great impact on your life. The wrong friends not so much.  

Why the right friends are important

As you become your own person, your peers play a bigger role in your life.  You now spend more time with friends than with your parents or other siblings, so you might develop close relationships with people of your same age group.  You feel more connected to them because they are interested in the same things you are.  

It is natural that you now compare yourself to your new friends.  You want to fit in and it is important for you to feel wanted.  You start wearing the same type of clothes as your friends and soon enough you take on their attitudes.  The right friends can boost your confidence while the wrong friends could drag you down to their level.  

Teen years can be overwhelming because you are still trying to figure out who you are and where you want to be in this world. It is comforting to have friends with the same challenges you have, but if you can identify between wrong and right, then you should not be influenced to do things just for the sake of doing them. 

It is also important to be an example to others.  Just like your friends influence you, you can influence them positively. Friends that share experiences, build relationships that last. Friends compare themselves to each other and if you try to excel in schoolwork or in sport, then your friends will compete with you and it can change into healthy competition. 

The right friends can also help you make decisions.  The right friends will listen when you have something to say and they will help you sort out your problems.  They offer support in difficult times and also bring out the best in you.  If they don’t, they are not real friends. 

The life of a teenager consists of new experiences which brings on a lot of stress.  Some of your friends might pressure you into trying new things even though you might not feel comfortable doing that.  This can include shoplifting, drugs, smoking cigarettes, or drinking alcohol.  It can even include having sex before you are ready.  

Just because everyone else is doing it, doesn’t mean that you should. You should resist anything that you are not comfortable with. 

Often the power of peer pressure can be very hard to resist, but to dress the same way as someone else is a different scenario than to have sex or to drink and steal. You don’t have to fit in and be the same as everyone else.  If you don’t feel comfortable don’t do it.  You might even become unpopular, but rather be unpopular than dead because you did something stupid. 

Listen to your gut feeling.  If you don’t want to drink at a party, then keep a glass of soda/water with ice in your hand.  People will think that you are drinking so they might not offer you anything else. 

Arrange with your parents to have a code-phrase.  If you phone them and say a particular phrase for example: “Please come fetch me I have a headache” then they would realize that you are in an awkward situation and they should immediately come and fetch you. 

If you have the right friends then you don’t need this because you don’t have to explain yourself to good friends.  

Take a stand against peer pressure.  There might be others in the group that feels the same way and they do not have enough guts to say no.  If you do the talking they will do the walking.  They will support you and in such a way you have influenced someone positively without you even realizing it.  

Learn to say no.  No is not a swear-word and that little word can save your life in more than one scenario. If you see someone being pressured, then step in and say no for them. Don’t hesitate to call an adult if you are in a difficult situation.  They’ve been through what you have so they won’t allow you to make the same mistakes. 

Be a leader not a follower!