Treating the wound of betrayal - WERE YOU BETRAYED?

in #emotions6 years ago

Betrayal is one of the most painful experiences we can experience, be it the result of our partner, our friends or the members of our family. During a betrayal, our trust always breaks and then a long wound opens to heal, which sometimes does not even resolve. Of course, this injury is deeper when the one who betrays us is someone with all our confidence.


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In fact, all disappointments can not be described as betrayals. In reality, all human beings make mistakes with others at some time. There are situations in which we can not cope with the importance of circumstances and in which we end up disappointing those we love.

"Betrayal is more often caused by weakness than by a design forced to betray."
-François de la Rochefoucauld-

However, the betrayal that hurts and marks is the one that is carried out deliberately, with full consciousness and for very selfish reasons. It is the betrayal that comes from those who promised us something and who, in acting, behave differently knowing that they do not respect their word.

The different types of betrayal

There are different types of betrayal. From betrayal to oneself, to what is the fruit of a conspiracy prepared and practiced patiently against an individual. When we talk about this topic, we usually think of betrayal betrayed. On the other hand, it is not the only one that exists.

All forms of betrayal have two aspects in common: first, the break with something established implicitly or explicitly before. Then, the breach of trust on the part of the other.

"Agreements, expectations, illusions and promises betray themselves, one betrays with words and deeds."

The betrayed person experiences the bitter taste of deception. He feels despised and devalued. We put aside our feelings, thoughts and expectations. It has become an object in the other's objectives. In other words, it was objectified and used for something that I did not know. The betrayal is very painful and leaves strong marks for this reason.

Overcoming a betrayal

The most damaging effect of the betrayal leaves the victim with a deep mark: the lack of confidence of the betrayed. In fact, you can begin to doubt everyone, the result of experience. Having to deal with someone's second face is a long-term impact that usually does not heal on its own. Therefore, it is important to find a way to overcome the betrayal. Here are some keys to achieve this.

Keys to cure

  • Evaluate the situation It is important to qualify the circumstances in which the betrayal occurred. Above all, it is necessary to carefully examine the deliberate intention or not to betray. Intentions are of the utmost importance.

  • Do not feel guilty Although the betrayed person is the victim, the temptation to blame the situation can be strong. It is useless to mutilate ourselves by repeating once and then again that we have been stupid. Betrayal does not have to take responsibility for something that does not belong to it. It is especially important to be good to yourself.

Accept the situation Sometimes we fall into rejection or denial of what happened. It does not help to keep going. It is best to accept the situation and look for a possible solution to the problem if it exists.

  • Take a little time. Betrayal often leaves behind destroyed feelings. It is important to take time to put aside the initial impact and to have a clearer vision of what happened.

  • Make a general balance. All human beings make mistakes. We must not forget it. Although this is difficult, it is important to take an inventory of what the person has brought us in life and the real weight of their betrayal.

  • Find the path of forgiveness. Forgiveness does not mean accepting without consequences what has happened. It is not equivalent to pretending that nothing has happened. It's about reconciling with yourself and learning to leave the past behind.

Although betrayal is something bitter, it does not always give rise to a trauma that will persist throughout our lives. The first obligation of a betrayed person is to try to find the balance to move forward. We must avoid at all costs to make the mistake of the other a buffer that will mark the rest of our lives.

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