Dare to Say No!
I don't know about you,
but it was very hard for me
to say no,
To say no
even when I didn't want it,
to say no
even when I was struggling
and ended up overextending myself -
It left me silently smouldering inside,
all the requests I thought I had no choice
but to say yes though
I felt burnt out
like a heap of ashes,
left in the open
long after the fire has died.
I felt like a doormat,
rudely stepped all over,
taken for granted, and then
discarded after outliving my usefulness.
It didn't help that I was an empath,
aka an emotional dumping ground.
But now I have learnt to say no.
I have learnt that people,
including those that love me very much,
will not know my limits
unless I articulate them clearly.
I cannot expect them to read my mind,
to know that I'm feeling overstretched at any given
point of time -
that would be unfair
to them,
to myself,
to everyone involved.
And for those who were truly out to
make use of me
and just take and take and take,
I do not hesitate to draw clear boundaries
that my time, energy, efforts and money will only
go towards people who truly need help.
This was a huge revelation for me,
that saying no doesn't mean being selfish,
it just means taking care of myself well enough
that I have enough,
and have more than enough to give to those who genuinely lack.
Now I just need to grow in wisdom
to know who truly needs and will benefit from the help rendered.
And for those who are in the same boat
as me last time,
don't hesitate to say no
to parasites that will squander
your finite resources.
& give to those in real need.
[Photo Credits: Rustad and Tootell via Unsplash)
Today's freewrite is not fiction, but a stream of consciousness in blank verse, inspired by @happycrazycon (check out her thoughts here: https://steemit.com/freewrite/@happycrazycon/freewrite-prompt-freedom-of-personal-power-f48b4ffd10d56).
If you have experienced something similar, please leave your comments below!
Resteems and upvotes are always appreciated. (:
What an excellent piece!! You really write VERY WELL, @joeylim. Thank you for the mention but I think you depicted everything else about personal power so well 💗
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Aww thanks so much for the uplifting encouragement @happycrazycon 😊 ❤
I was drawn by the "No...Mummy...nooooo..." in your post and that clicked something in me, haha (:
You are gaining back your power that's for sure :) I am not that good at saying no too, so that's why I'm wondering why we were so good at doing it when we were young but not so now.
I'm curious to find out where you are from.
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@happycrazycon hahah, I really think it's all the stifling self-consciousness.
Where I am from? Oh, I'm a Singaporean, if that is what you meant 😊
Hahah yes. You are from Singapore, I see. I love reading your writes, always think they deserve to be highlighted. You enjoy writing?
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@happycrazycon you're from Malaysia right?
Yes, when I was young I already loved reading and writing. All throughout school my fav subject was literature (: but sadly I didn't pursue it at university level.
What about you? 😊
"No" - one of the hardest words to say... and even now, having trained myself that it is okay to say, "No." I still feel guilty about it. 🙁🙂
@kaelci yeahhh I feel you man! Those moments of guilt do come now and then, but we should just keep reminding ourselves that we do not have anything to feel guilty for (objectively speaking).
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@esteemapp thank you!!
You write so well. I enjoyed it. I have learned to say no the hard way. And I really find out the ability to say no makes you know what you want and what you don't want. What you can and what you can't. It helps you to set a healthy boundary too. Keep on writing with us and keep eSteeming. :)
Hey @iamjadeline thanks alot!! 😊
Yes, indeed. We'll have a clearer idea of who we are and what precisely we want in life (:
Absolutely! I learned this valuable gift later on in life and learned to shed the ingenuity of my own desires. Now I guard my time like the precious gift it is and carefully distribute to those who don't ask for truly selfish intentions. Well done!
@wandrnrose7 😊😊 indeed I think the first step we had to made is to stop demeaning ourselves and recognize that what we have - our time and all - is actually important and valuable.
I agree 100%!
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Wow this is me. I’m currently quite tired from all of the demands.. physically and mentally.. might be even a little sick. But this post reminded me to keep standing my ground and saying no even when I’m terrified of what people’s response is or if people won’t like me anymore or if I can’t meet anyone’s standard.
Thank you!
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@vincy -virtual hug-
Yes what is most important now is to rest, recharge and be restored. 😊
You're welcome, really glad it spoke to you (:
Very well said. I still struggle with the saying No sometimes - even though I really need to. It is self-care for sure!
Congratulations! This post is featured in our Poetry Digest.
https://steemit.com/freewrite/@freewritehouse/poetry-digest-edition-twenty-five
@freewritehouse yeah and self-care allows us to care for others sustainably!
Thanks so much for the feature 😊😊