We’re Staying Together For The Kids
I don’t know how many times I’ve heard someone say that, it’s the worst parenting strategy I’ve ever heard: “We’re Staying together for the kids.” Really? Is that what you’re doing?
#News flash! Your kids don’t do as you say, get over yourself, they’re no different than you are. It’s in their nature to defy your words and mirror your actions. Little boys wear flat bill baseball caps and coveralls because dad wears flat bill baseball caps and coveralls. Little girls aren’t walking around the house in their own high heeled shoes, those are mommy’s. Sometimes they listen to you, sometimes they don’t. Sometimes they like you, sometimes not so much. They eat what you say when you prepare it, they go to sleep on your watch and their daily activities revolve around your better judgement—it’s your actions they’re going to emulate.
Don’t be surprised when the daughter in law is having an affair or she answers to the b-wOrd in front of the grandkids. :pause:
:continue: The actions will vary, it doesn’t have to be cheating and abusing, it’s the reaction that’s familiar, that’s the part that needs to repeat. The hatred, ignoring one another to avoid conversation, crying, screaming, etc., that’s the desired reaction—the normal part.
Nobody wants to see their daughter dating someone they don’t approve of but the fact is, the nice guy, the one who always tells her she’s beautiful and opens doors for her, the one who compliments her every day and she’s enamored by isn’t normal. A little girl who’s daddy sleeps on the couch because her parents are “staying together for the kids” won’t have anything to do with a boy who actually loves her—it isn’t normal to her.
Fellas, you’re saying all of the right things, you’re teaching your boy to respect his mother and protect his sister. He’s listening to everything you’re saying about “be nice to your sister” and “ladies first,” he’ll repeat those words later in #life. But his actions are going to be a replay of whatever it takes to achieve normal and if his dad is “staying together for the kids” then his idea of normal is the reaction he’s used to seeing from his mother.
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Why do we forget the children? If we can enter a contract, like marriage, why don't we hold up
our end of the bargain...love, cherish and respect. It's about commitment, rolling with the lumps and bumps, and showing those children, love is all you need. It works !
Ah yes, farm-mom, you couldn’t be more accurate—love is all we need. I can tell just by the conversations I’ve had with you and Sweed that ya’all have top shelf parenting skills. There’s no doubt in my mind you guys have never said anything like “we’re staying together for the kids.”
Thank you for stopping by @farm-mom. Wait’ll you see my food fight contender tomorrow! I’m sofa king excited—it’s a 3 minute short film!! I’m completely outta my league with this new venture and I’m loving every minute of it.
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Quite true...most often...except (It seems) when a child makes a strong conscious decision 'NOT' to repeat mommy or daddy's poor behavior, and they successfully adhere to their own re-programming.
A worthy post @dandays ...keep em coming :>)
My pleasure @angryman, thanks a lot for reading this one sir, I’m glad you liked it! Happy Sunday, by the way, I hope you’re enjoying your weekend.
Oh heck yeah I’m with you about the opposite. Wether it’s to mirror our example or go the opposite direction, you’re right about the facts... they’re still our one and only example. That whole “staying together for the kids” stuff is one example parents need to erase—in my ever so quiet and humble opinion (you know what I mean).
😉
Thanks for stopping by @angryman, as always, the pleasure’s all mine.
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:>)
The innocent always suffer, and in a family that is dysfunctional, that means the children.
Society is broken and family values have taken a back seat to the me first way of thinking. A sad statistic is that 50% of all marriages will end up in divorce court. Lead by example is good advice, unless the one leading lacks morality.
Time goes by so quick, and before you know it those precious gifts of life you have created will be looking you square in the eye and you will be wondering where you went wrong. Parenting is the most difficult, important, and far reaching responsibility one can have. They say it takes a village to raise a child, but rather than expect others to raise your children, step up to the plate and spend the quality time it takes to raise them yourself.
It is better to have one parent doing the right thing then two parents doing a half assed job.
Parenting done right is no guarantee that your children will avoid all of the temptations that will seduce them, but those brought up with a good sense of right and wrong at least stand a chance.
Having four grown children, the road along the way did have some obstucles that tested our resolve, but not answering the bell every time would not have worked for us.
As you get on in years you will realize one of two things, I blew it, or the hard work has come back 10 fold, as they have become what you were working towards all those years, someone you can be proud of.
Coffee. That’s usually how my days start, coffee. Before the pot is gone, the pot is lit. A cup and a bowl is a great start—I prefer it. Why am I telling you this? Because.
Because a Sweed response is a good way to start the day too! I ain’t kidding, sir, when I read your responses I’m always ‘refreshed’ or something.. it’s good to know there’s still good people. I always appreciate your point of view. What I’m trying to say is Joe, Weed and Sweed has a ring to it, no??
What I do know is I’ve been able to watch all of my friends. When I say all, I want to reiterate that, “all.” I see everything different than a parent, I’ve watched them all make terrible examples. I’ll just tell you one of a bajillion—check this out, story time:
I used to play cards at this house, as many as 20 people at a time would be there once a month or however often they hosted. They had an African Grey parrot—dude!! That bird said the WORST things, Sweed. The worst things you can imagine, I’m not exaggerating, things I’ve never said ever. You can ask Pura if she’s ever heard me say the b-wOrd—nope! But I’m not against any other wOrd, especially talking with my buddies or even on discord. But that bird—oh man!
“Your mom’s a dirty C.” “I hope you rot and die.” “Go to hell B.” I mean the worst things, Sweed, is what that bird said. They ended up getting rid of the thing, I can’t imagine why. 🤔 But my point is, they had two kids, a boy and a girl and, if that’s what the bird does, I can’t imagine what the kids are doing. The parents have since divorced, yup, that was their “example” Sweed.
Thanks again for such a cool comment. I’ll see you around sir. I asked you before about discord.. did you miss that message?
Thanks for stopping by @thebigsweed.
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Now that is the best compliment I have ever received, coffee, sweed, and weed, sounds like a pretty good combination to me.
Joe, weed, and sweed does have a ring to it. The first bowl of the day is always the best @dandays.
There are all to many horrific stories like the one about the dude hosting card games at his house.
We are all held accountable for every move we make, except the moves we make while raising children.
I'm not sure about discord as I tried to get involved once with one of the discord channels and had no luck and found it to be very frustrating. May have to look into it again.
Talk about frustrating. I had been working on an entry for a contest run by #homesteaderscoop, after spending about 10 hours, over 2 different days, I was about to put the finishing touches on the post yesterday morning, but when I kicked up Steemit and hit the pencil, to my dismay nothing was there. Huge bummer😢🤷♀️.
In the past I was able to go back to what I was doing and the work was always there. I'm not sure what happened. The entry is due by June 5th and I am not sure I want to revisit starting over.
Oh man, I know exactly what you’re talking about. Yeah, it used to be if we started a project in Steemit it would be there until we deleted it, even if we X’d out the page. Danget man, I’m sorry that happened to you.
Well, discord would be a way to get ahold of you. I know how to use it, Bob, it can’t be that tough. 👍🏿
Yooo. Sweed. If two of your buddies were going to layover in NY before their next flight, what airport is closest to the ranch..... just in case something crazy was to happen like we hang it for a minute or something.
Where you at, sir? Look me up on discord. dandays#6299. We may be there sooner than later.
Excellent review @dandays and I have always been taught that family is the main thing in life, so my parents always tried to be with me and support me. I also go this way and I think it is right!
You’re a good dude, serkagan, it sounds to me like your parents did a great job with you! I really appreciate all of your support, sir, thank you! And I appreciate each of our exchanges.
Thanks for stopping by @serkagan, I hope you’re having a nice weekend.
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Children are human beings who are sensitive and must be taken care of, along with children they are certainly very pleasant
Speaking of sensitive, thank you for resteeming this one, sir, I really appreciate that. Enjoy your weekend!
Thanks for stopping by @ustazkarim.
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As a parent sometimes I forget that actions speak 100X louder than words. The “Do as I Say not as I do” line is a bunch of Crap. Lead by example and they will follow.... hopefully 😉. They watch every move you make, so you better make it to that school concert. Even if you stand on the side and think the whole time that they didn’t see you. Guess what... she did. Maybe it was the fluorescent yellow shirt with reflective stripes on it. :wink:wink.
It is hard on kids when parent split, it I believe like you. It’s way more damaging to see the two people so distant, dragging things along, full of resentment, bitterness and who knows what else. That isn’t a Home a child needs.
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Ahh yeah, my man Splatts agrees with me—yes!
Eh, did you like my first tag?
Dude I think nowadays it’s almost common to have two different homes as a child vs one. It just seems to me a lot of my friends who have kids, the little ones live at both houses and everyone seems to enjoy it—especially the kids! Kids love the best of both worlds so, “staying together for the kids” is, like I said, “worst parenting strategy I’ve heard of.”
I sure do appreciate your support around here brother, I’ve been really busy this week. I’m just now getting to replies, Pura and I didn’t record a recipe, well... you saw how neither of us even entered the kitchen. I’m “living.” <—the nerve of me! I need to make it to the contenders.
Thanks for pointing out that young apprentice Wireman to me too. 👍🏿 I hope you and yours are having a good weekend brother.
Thanks for stopping by @jlsplatts.
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I hope the world of children will always be beautiful with us
Sounds like a world worth living in. 👍🏿
Thanks for stopping by @iskandar1582.
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una salida al conflicto en donde las partes queden en paz para así ofrecer un futuro mas sano a sus hijos, es la salida mas segura y mejor, pero este mundo es una locura para muchos y prefieren seguir en situaciones que no favorecen a los hijos, al contrario los afecta cada vez mas.
¡Buenos días! Estoy seguro de que me alegro de que te hayas tomado el tiempo de leer esto. ¡Gracias! También aprecio que esté de acuerdo conmigo, debe haber escuchado "nos quedamos juntos por los niños" varias veces. Es una estrategia paternal terrible, en mi opinión.
Estoy usando una aplicación de traducción para esta respuesta, me disculpo si alguna parte de la redacción está en mal estado. Me envolví en la cultura costarricense a principios de año, por lo que mi español está ganando terreno de manera lenta pero segura. 👍🏿
muchas gracias por pasar por @betzaelcorvo.
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Hello @dandays, how are u doing? I like your topic today is about child. A child usually imitate all the behavior of his parents. If his parents educate with violence then he will be a hard person and likes to beat. but the environment and friends will shape the character of the child when he grows up. So teach your child with gentleness and courtesy so that when he grows up he wil be a good person.Enjoy your day, sir.
This is a nice surprise, good morning! It’s always nice to hear from you. Happy Saturday, I hope you’re having a nice weekend.
You’ve obviously thought about this topic before, you’re right. I’m glad you agree with me on this one.
Thanks for stopping by @elianaelisma.
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I agree with @elianaelisma
learn them respect and good stuff in their childhood and later on when they face real life and people they won't affect them with bad thoughts that easy