How I Got Here: Royally Screwed

in #family5 years ago

Every time I see the Brits fawning over the "Royal Family" I want to bitch slap them. You idiots still believe that some blood is more royal than other blood? That some humans are just, by birthright, destined to rule over the rest of the humans? It makes me just about want to scream. Then I see Americans fawning over the "Royal Family" and I want to poke them into circus cannons and send them back across the pond. How STUPID do you have to be to STILL believe in royalty after we fought an epic war to break free of that bullshit? These people deserve HUNG, not put on thrones!

Last week I spent some time with family. My brother's widow has gotten deeply into genealogy and she was showing me what she had turned up. I do not remember exactly how she got there, but she found we are directly descended from Mary Boleyn, Anne's sister. I could be wrong about the royalty thing, maybe you all should be bowing down right now, then you can finish reading my story?

The weather turned cold and nasty yesterday, so I hunkered down and watched videos. This is one I found highly informative, and amusing:

Mary is a bit of a mystery compared to her sister. Considering her famous family, the details of her life are quite sketchy. It is clear she had affairs with the King of France and with Henry VIII, before Anne married him and became Queen. According to some versions of the tale, Anne refused to sleep with him unless he married her, having learned from Mary that having illegitimate children with Henry did not really secure your station in life. The two children Mary bore Henry went on to be part of the "Royal Family" and marry and have children over and over until somewhere down the line - POOF! There I am!

Now I am confident that my 40+ year old single wide trailer and 20+ year old car are the kind of status symbols royalty deserves, right? Actually, that IS right. My station in life is just what it ought to be, it is the Queen of England who is getting away with total bullshit living the way she does. So how did I get here and she get there? I got here through hard work and perseverance, by having a dream of a simple, self-reliant lifestyle and going after it. She got there because idiots all over the world prop up her ridiculous belief that she is better than everyone else.

Well, she thinks she is better than YOU. Me? I am royalty too. If I had a ring on I would let you kiss it.

Mary married the man that Henry told her to and he died very young. Mary sort of disappeared from history for a few years, then turned up at Court - pregnant. She had secretly gotten re-married. Anne was livid, Mary was supposed to marry and reproduce only with the blessing of the Queen. Anne kicked Mary to the curb, ordered their father to disown her, and then... got her silly head chopped off. Their brother also died alongside Anne. Mary was off being dis-royalled - and keeping her head attached to her shoulders. Well done, Mary! The part I like best about this story is that apparently, that secret marriage was for love. She married a poor man with no station, and according to one account, swore she would rather be with him than be a Queen, and that he would choose her over a kingdom, so fierce was their love.

Mary eventually got raised out of poverty by being the only surviving child. Although still disowned, when her father died she got the inheritance. It took several years to settle the estate, then she died less than a year later. Meanwhile, her children married and had children who married and had children and eventually - POOF! Princess Diana popped out. Oops. Dammitol! I seem to be the kind of royalty that other royalty banishes or kills.

Get up, stop the bowing, quit kissing my empty ring finger, I have had enough fun. It was fabulous being Princess for a Day but I like my head attached to my shoulders, I like my 20+ year old car brakes to work, I like my single wide trailer and my chickens and my husband that I got to pick and screw at will... But the next time you see Meghan Markle on a magazine cover being touted as "Royal" and you want to go all weak in the knees of the glory and pageantry of the Royal Family, remember, I am royalty too. If I got over it, surely you can!


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A Bed-headed Queen And Her Queendom



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All hail Queen Fishy 🥳

Posted using Partiko iOS

Yeah, it is all fun and games until we get to the "off with her head" part - LOL!

Lolol!!! Love this post!

When it comes to the royals, I could care, but I really don't. I have nothing against them, but they can be just as inane as anyone else, and I tend to not pay them much attention.

And yeah, a bunch of us of northern European (and other) heritage have royal blood back there somewhere, even more have noble blood . . . and how much good does it do us? Precisely none.

An interesting anecdote. Nothing more.

Which is fine - I love interesting anecdotes, but I don't put a lot of stock in royals or nobility.

You are your decisions in life, not your heritage, even though heritage plays a role. And some royals, and nobles, are complete jerks.

Posted using Partiko Android

Complete jerks, and way too many pedophiles. That is what happens when you place people above the law, they no longer have use for ethics or morality.

Sounds like too many members of our government as well. Sigh.

Abolish ALL political parties, going back to what the founders wanted (as they had already seen party politics ruin most of Europe), and install term limits for ALL elected and appointed officials, including the Supreme Court.

Absolute power corrupts absolutely.

Posted using Partiko Android

Love this post (so cool you're descended from Mary Boleyn - always thought she got the best deal out of that family). I love history and surely, the English royals down the ages werena fascinating bunch, but I can't believe these morons who gob up the absurd luxury the "royal" family lives in.

Seems to me you'd have to be blatantly idiotic not to see that this is the same country where some own multiple palaces and can afford to wear a new dress each day, others are sleeping in the rough and being abused by their own countrymen. Pathetic.

Thw royal charade is just another entertainment venue for the masses...

Posted using Partiko Android

Oh yeah, billions of people still stuck inside the matrix. :(

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