Long Lost Brother I Have Met For The Very First Time.

A bit of history

It starts with a man and a woman. And then another woman, and another woman and perhaps another.

The history that I know started with my mother, my sister and me.

I was raised by my mother and was mostly surrounded by a lot of aunts and uncles. My mom was 1 of 13 children so there was plenty of aunt and uncle love to go around. My godfather was like a father figure to me. I saw him most often and he was the first man to go cut down a Christmas tree with me. A memory amongst a few others.

That is more than I can say for my biological father.
I remember visiting him for a few days, perhaps a week during the summer vacation. I don't remember what age I was when I first met him. What I do remember is that he had 4 more children after me with another woman. The oldest of the 4 was the same age as me.

We got along for the most part but I always felt out of place. I could tell that I didn't belong. My sister lived with them on and off for some time. Mostly because both sides felt like they couldn't handle her. A shame really. But for some reason I never did.
Over time I would sometimes talk to Him on the phone. He would promise me that he would call me for my birthday or Christmas, would send me clothing and would come visit. As most of you may already suspect as this seems to be a story of many, they were empty promises. And as time went by, the less I heard from him.

My mom had found another man; we moved in with him when I was about 11-12 years old. I talked to Him maybe once more on the phone and I remember him saying he would by me coveralls. They were my favorite jeans to wear at the time. Before moving in with this new guy we were a poor family. So to me hearing that I would get a new pair of coveralls! How exciting!

I never heard from him.

I saw him last when I was about 14. He came to see my sister after she had her first born child. I thought it was good for her to see 'her' dad. I was excited to see him as well. I wanted to tell him about all the new and exciting things that happened. Alas, he passed me a 20 dollar bill and told me to go buy something and to take my half little sister with me. I barely knew the child. It had been years since I seen her.

After that I pretty much understood where I was at with him. I started caring less and learned the true meaning of being a family. My step father took me under his wing. He loved me as his own. I was just as important. I felt less like an outsider even though his children tried making sure that I wasn't to get too comfortable. It's all water under the bridge.

But with this experience, I got to see things with a whole new meaning. That's a different story for another time.

I concluded that I wasn't welcomed in His life. So I asked my mother why. And so the story goes like this:

He had a few children before he met my mother. How many and with who we didn't know. With my mother he had us 2 girls and 4 with the last.

When my mother was pregnant for me He cheated on her with the girl that was babysitting my sister. Of course my mom had flipped out and what I was told completely shocked me. See my mother is only 5 feet tall and just tiny. If she can weigh 90lbs shes living the dream. She said, when she found out, she grabbed a shotgun and shot at him. The darn thing was too heavy for her which is why she missed. Can you imagine that??? Crazy!

With that she lost custody of my sister for 4 years, got a divorce and got away with no charges or jail time as they said she was a woman in shock or something like that. I wasn't there so I can't really say what the truth to that was.

So that answered a few questions like why I have a half brother the same age as me but why was I the little ugly duckling, the black sheep? Apparently my mother tried to get back at him by cheating on Him with his brother but she said she was never able to go through with it. So he thinks that I am not his but she later proved that I was with a DNA test.

Years went by, I found the last 3 of the 4 on facebook who are now adults and with families of their own. I heard that he was a great father and such and such. Good for them, I am happy that he stepped up. Better late than never. I have also met online an older half sister. I didn't talk with her much, same with the other 3.

My sister still talks to Him every now and then and I think she gives Him information about me and my kids which I really dislike. The reason I think she does is because a couple years ago He called me. Said he wanted to meet my kids.

Wait wait wait! That is not happening. I told him that you don't just get to skip the step of having a daughter to getting to know your grandchildren. Dude I don't even think you know how old I would be if it weren't for the other being the same age. And even then probably still doesn't know.

With that I thought about how it would be like if I were in his position. It broke my heart. Well I would like to say that in this story I was the bigger person in this story and we all lived happily ever after but that's not how it went. Actually I did call him back and I did say sorry. Sorry that I can't let you see my children because I just don't know you. You never cared to be in my life, never fought to be in my life and to me, you are just a stranger. Just like my neighbour next door that I never really met. Only difference is I know your name. I have a father, my kids have their grandfather and I will not bring any negativity upon them as the only truth there is, is that my father wants to be in my life and my kids lives as well.

I cried. It was hard to say. I broke free of the ties of questions like will I ever see him again? I just don't need to.

And now back to 2018

I got a message through facebook. Oh how I love facerape. But it does have its perks and for this particular reason. The message came from a man and I had no clue who he was. His name is the same as 'dude'. So I got a hold of my sister. Who is this guy and is it Him again?

NOPE! He is the first born! The first of us all.

Now I know this story is getting a bit long, so I really hope I am not boring you with my sappy story. I will continue on just a bit more ;)

I got to meet him yesterday. I wasn't nervous, actually the only thing I was nervous about was not having anything to say. What do I tell this man? Hi nice to meet you, another abandoned child I see? Hell no!

When I first saw him, he was at a distance. He drove in on his motorcycle and leather coat. I didn't even know what this guy looked like so I didn't know what to expect.

As he walked closer I got to study him a bit. We are about the same height, his walk was easy going, confident and as he approached, he did with open arms to give me this great big hug. It was a bit weird for me, I was more ready to give him a handshake. I only talked to him a couple of times on facebook, not much to really get to know him, not even seen a profile picture.

We sat down at a picnic table and actually got talking like if we knew each other before. Maybe that was because we went through the same things, same story but he went through a bit more than I did.

I found out that we are 9 children in total. I still don't know of the other one, aside from him I talked to the others. What is so strange is that my half brother is 10 years younger than my mother and 13 years older than me. How old is this sperm donor guy? Well in his 60's he told me.

We spoke without wasting a minute. Talked about life, work, kids, family, places. And it would so happen that I was not the only one he acted like 'I wasn't His child'. A story He used to get away from his responsibilities.
My half brother also has 3 children but are now grown up. I was happy to know that he did not take the same route as Him in life and stayed with his children and wife through thick and thin.

There was something about him, about meeting him too. I felt like I could tell this guy anything. Understood life like I do.
But it is still so strange to meet someone who you never really knew existed, (well somewhat knew but didn't) and you can call him your half brother. It is somewhat surreal.

It would seem more like I was the long lost sister in this story because I wasn't looking for him, I never looked for any of them to be honest. A side of the family I was never included in. But he did. He made the trip of over 10 hours drive to come meet me. Who does that? Well he did, and that is quite something.

Family is so important, so very important and I now have a brother that sees it the same way as I do. I am blown away.

He is coming back in August and this time I will get to spend more time with him, getting to know him and he will get to meet my husband, a fellow biker, as well. This brings exciting news. I hope things are in his favor and that he can make the trip. I am not done talking to him :p

Don't you just love my photography skills? I even got him with his eyes closed. Can't get any better than that!