[The infamy series] Anonymous reports to CPS | The dangerous side

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The Infamy Series, an introduction

I recently decided to start a series of post called: The Infamy Series... And I already have a list of different posts I want to write in this series.
The posts in this series will be about some topics regarding to infamous topics I personally had to deal with, or read a lot about.. or maybe sometimes both. Some of these topics are still stigmatized, and I want to change this. I want to raise awareness about the consequences for people dealing with these issues. Hopefully you will find them useful in some way!
You can find my first post about character assassination here.

This post I would like to talk about anonymous reports to CPS

When you think a child is in danger or may be abused, you can choose to talk to the parents first. I guess getting more information about a situation is probably the best option anyway. Because you may believe by what you hear or see that a child is being abused physically, but instead there can be a medical problem that is unknown to you. If you don't get some more information first, you may call in on the parents (who may be struggling because of the medical issue but loving parents to the child) and destroy things instead of helping the child. In this world we live in, many people form their own opinion by what they see or hear, but aren't willing to go through the facts and do some research before making a decision like reporting someone to CPS.

I found information about your liability if you make a report online

Your Liability If You Make a Social Services Report


No liability if made in good faith: Regardless of the outcome, all 50 states exempt individuals who report abuse from any civil or criminal liability, even if your suspicions prove wrong, provided you made the report in good faith. This means that you truly believed that there was ongoing abuse, or you truly suspected that abuse might have occurred. You will never face criminal prosecution for reporting someone to social services because you were mistaken.


Liability possible if you had a malicious intent: However, if you knowingly make a false report to social services, particularly if you did so to harass or intimidate the accused, you could be charged with a crime. If you make numerous false reports, social services can release your name to the person you report and that person can file a civil lawsuit against you for compensation. The key point here is that you knew you were making a false report and you did so for a malicious reason.

There it says that if you report someone with the wrong reasons, to harm them, you can be charged for it. But what if this person is smart enough to make these reports anonymously? Of course most people with bad intentions will be smart enough to do so. Because they don't want people to find out who reported them, as they know they may have to justify themselves at some point. I believe this is a very dangerous thing.

The dangers of people reporting others out of revenge etc

The people that have bad intentions (narcissists, psychopaths you name it) and want to show the other who's in control by reporting false things to CPS are the ones that are the most dangerous I believe. Because they do this intentionally, and will go above and beyond to get their way and will usually not stop before the children will be taken from the other parent. And the most sad thing about this is, that in most cases this is based on revenge only, their sick twisted games, and not based on the other parent actual being a bad parent. These people have usually been loving parents all along (also during the relationship) but had to deal with living together with a partner that was not that loving at all.

I have been there myself and I know that in Holland it only takes a few anonymous calls

I could not understand what was happening a long time, but after some hints and puzzle pieces falling together, I learned that my ex was making those calls. He even told me before I fled to the shelter, in a two hour during crusade in our home. I recorded this, but I did not put the connection for a while after it happened. He told me literally that there would be at least twenty people confirming his story and would call in to report that I was abusive to the children and him. But at the moment this happened I was still believing that the system was there to protect us (me and the children) for these kind of ridiculous things. I was the loving mother, come on, you are talking crazy to me.. That's what I thought back then. I was wrong.

Anonymous phone calls to CPS will be taken for truth in a heartbeat, while presenting many documents with the actual truth will be swiped from the table and not even investigated. Even when all odds are against the other parent that isn't being investigated due to anonymous calls because he is a convicted criminal

Then there is the other side, people that have good intentions and report anonymous to CPS

Those people are the people like me in the past, convinced that this is the good thing to do. To help a child in need, to report in, so people that know how to handle these things will help them make things better. At least, that's what the system makes you believe, and this is probably what everyone believes until proven otherwise. But that prove will (in most cases) come too little too late when they are already too far in a situation with those agencies. Or when a friend or family member has to deal with it. And they see with their own two eyes how destructive these agencies go to work.
Those people can only know this if we spread the word.

When you hear one of your neighbours ask or talk about someone abusing the children and calling in on them, ask for more information. See if they have a valid point. And try to convince that person that this is not always the solution, ask if this person has talked to the parent already? To see if there's anything that can be done to assist them first. Some people are in a difficult situation (I don't say it's ok to abuse a child don't get me wrong) that they want to get out of, but don't know how, because there is no support system for them. You may be that one person, that one talk they just need to see solutions! Please keep this in mind..

People with good intentions may not oversee the consequences when they did report something that could have been solved without interference of CPS. For example a woman that has an aggressive partner, but already knows I need to get out of this situation, and is planning to do so. The partner gets angry and a child screams one evening, you assume it gets hit, but instead it's an overheated fight between the parents. The mother is ready to leave in a few days, she has planned it for a long time, and then you call CPS on them. The mother may have the bad luck that the child gets taken from her, while the partner that she was already leaving was the problem here.

There are many cases that I can address here

But you get my point, people don't oversee the consequences of these kind of people interfering. I can speak for myself when I say that I certainly didn't. I actually thought I was doing the right thing, and protecting myself and the children. And so did everybody else that gave me that advise to get out of there, immediately! We all simply did not know better, because none of us had the experience in our environment of CPS interference.

I hope people keep this in mind when coming across a situation where one wants to report someone. Please always try to help in other ways, try to inform them about other options, search for them if you don't know them right away. Offer a listening ear.

Your empathy and willingness to help and seek solutions with that parent will probably be the greatest help a parent in need can get! And with that the greatest help you can offer the child too