Here We Go Again
So just when I thought maybe they have figured out that we're not doing drugs, the urinalysis people came by again for Jared. A woman and a man this time. The man was there to watch and make sure Jared wasn't cheating. Since it had been so long since the last time they came, I thought that maybe the social worker had indeed only ordered them for one month, but, alas, we're in for another month of unexpected visits. Up to 5 more this month. This is very frustrating. The man told Jared that he has been one of the most cooperative people he's come across. Wow, that makes me feel just all warm and fuzzy inside. (Where's the eye roll emoji btw.)
Tomorrow I have to go down to the police department to meet with the social worker and detective for "variety in case management." She said it shouldn't take more than an hour...I've been wracking my brain, trying to figure out what this is all about. What do you think "variety of case management" means?
My mother in law says they want to get me alone to talk to me and make sure I'm not being abused or kept against my will.
My husband thinks it's going to be a divide and conquer attempt. They will question me and try to get me to turn on Jared, so they have more to work with.
I'm wondering if maybe they saw my Steemit posts, and will question me about some of the things I wrote about, such as trying to kick Jared out.
Or maybe all of the above??
I found this meme about the difference between how criminals are treated, and how parents are treated when CPS becomes involved. Isn't it the truth though?
I'd like to add:
Criminals: innocent until proven guilty
Parents: guilty until proven innocent
Criminals: are investigated prior to arrest
Parents: Children often taken before an investigation takes place
Honestly, I can't stop wondering about tomorrow. I'm really nervous. What more could they possibly ask me about? We were already interviewed!
Thanks for reading, snowpea ❤
Ok, so I tried to do a little digging before piping in with how this looks/feels. Here is something you may look at, even though it isn't necessarily tied to your state alone.
https://www.childwelfare.gov/pubPDFs/cps.pdf
On page 25, it discusses three case plans that are the model for the worker to aim for. Given the fact that they wish to see you alone, I suspect Jared is right (which I have warned of already) and the plan they have designed to seem most palatable will in some way come at the highest cost to Jared. I feel this is so or the caseworker would come and discuss it at your home in front of him. They are already angling him out of the picture for now.
Be prepared for them to showcase all of his shortcomings, amplifying them as they seek to get you to take a lifeline from them. If I was you, I would record the entire conversation (with your phone of you can) and please remain strong no matter what they say. Do not lose your head, and maybe prepare yourself in advance for some of the worse things they might offer in their "variety" of case plan offers. That way you will be able to have a better chance of keeping your wits about you.
Have a list of questions ready for them for worse case scenarios so that way they can't pretend you misunderstood anything, and if their plan is one that makes life impossible make them say it for the record (your recording).
If they object to being recorded, tell them that you really must insist as this involves your family and you don't want to misremember anything as you know how serious all of this is to understand them perfectly.
Good luck and know we are all here in support.
Thank you for finding this for me! I feel pretty confident this morning. I just hope I have the courage to pull out that recorder.
That's what we do. Record everything. Not "under cover", but let them know. I explain it by telling them i have PTSD and heightened anxiety makes me confused and forgetful. So taping is for my own benefit. It keeps them honest if nothing else. I was thinking of putting a recording device in the house my daughter lives in to prove anything we say.
We have found that social services have to back the private firms that they pay huge amounts of money to.
Be careful out there. God bless.
honestly, @snowpea I'm coming in a little late on this explanation and what happen and what you were preparing for. I've worked in federal and state agencies most of my life. the last being for investigation. you can have a recorder on before they get there, get a secret cam, get a pen cam or a bra cam and do so without them even knowing it and it is legal. If you are outside of USA, this might be slightly different. I do not know your entire situation but know you have the right to a recording either way. In front of them (out in the open) or not. I saw someone talk about your situation in the alliance but no details, just to come read your blog.
I think the most important thing for tomorrow is going to be for you to say as little as possible. To not volunteer. To answer yes or no. To not agree to ANYTHING. Meaning, repeat, "I'll think it over" or "I'll consult with my lawyer" (whether you have one or not!) ad infinitum. Don't be afraid to say "I forget" instead of trying to estimate. Seriously, I've found my mouth to be my own worst enemy in any interview situation because it's so terribly easy to volunteer information and every little bit can be a problem. Smiling and answering in specific but not in general can be so helpful and give you a lifeline to focus on in those moments when you're nervous and your head can be spinning.
I agree: there is going to be an attempt to turn you against Jared. Do not be surprised if you are threatened with child removal if you don't leave him. That has been a tactic used before. :(
I also have one more sad piece of advice: you may want to consider not telling your mom or MIL anymore details about what's going on. If you have to say something, give very general information. You have already pointed out that they are loose cannons with information. I have a hard time with this as well because I have a very close family member who is a sieve with information and I see them frequently, so it can be quite difficult to keep information to myself but I think the well-being of my family often depends on it.
Yes, I have a problem with oversharing. When this happened before a couple of years ago, I was very honest with them, and they nailed me. I even mentioned that my 3 year old wet the bed, and they felt the need to put it in their notes. Ridiculous!
I will be strong, and keep my answers short. Thank you @lturner!
You are in my prayers and thoughts!
oh my god.. they treat people like animals! i can just about get my head around one test.. but really to do so many is just a kind of craziness.. i mean if someone is really a drug addict that can be a problem ( i agree).. and ONE test will reveal it.. instead they have to put innocent people through a barrage of tests like this.. and Dare you say NO, what will happen then i wonder!?
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the truth is that parents are treated as delinquents but curiously those that generate significant repercussions on the health and integrity of children are ignored by the competent agencies, I really hope everything gets better
This world we live in today does protect only the criminals and like you said the parents and the sincere people or people with no power are the ones who have no rights.
Thanks for sharing the meme which is so true and very eye-opening.
Good luck with your meeting tomorrow. Wish you the best.
Thank you @joalvarez! The meme was very eye opening to me too! :)
It is a divide a conquer. You don't have to reveal any more information than you already have.
If it's anything like social services in the UK, they like to keep you in a permanent state of hyper anxiety. They do this in many ways. When they have you in that state they ca manipulate you.
They are complicit in the removal of working class culture and people. Social services are part of that.
if you don't identify with the liberal agenda then they want to re educate your kids. Removal is part of that.
Keep on keeping on.....
I know, I'll be in an interrogation room on their turf, for who knows what. Yesterday I was definitely in a state of hyper anxiety, today I'm feeling better.
You need to try to stay calm. They rely on the fact they have you in anxious state. Fear is a great motivator and what bigger motivator than fear for kids.
I hope all goes well for you. I guess you are in the US, i am in the UK. But it seems to be the same thing. Private companies and social services departments using children as commodities. They have commodified every aspect of the working class communities.
Can i ask what your situation is??
Thanks for sharing this post with us and wishing you an great day. Stay blessed
People's lives are at stake here, and you go "wishing you a great day, stay blessed" READ THE POST IF YOU WANT TO COMMENT!
