The Offer--Fifty Word Microfiction
The Offer
Sign this contract and they could go home--no more shitty apartments.
Play the dutiful wife in public. The kids get the benefits of his position and wealth. She gets compensated for smiling through the insults.
Tears rolled down her cheeks. A cardboard life.
Hands shaking, she ripped it to shreds.
The Challenge That Spawned It
I've been watching and wanting to participate in Jayna's fifty word challenges for ages, but I kept being too burned out to be inspired by the prompt or too busy to do anything about it. My life is finally offering much needed me time, so with copious encouragement from my favorite Zombie (AJ Savage), I did it. This week's prompt is Tear--a word open to a lot of interpretation. I wanted two images off the prompt, even if the word itself wasn't used. According to Goo Docs, I nailed 50 words.
The Process
A lot of people look at stories like this and think it has to be easy. But it isn't. Especially if you want to offer complete story--including a character arc--and not just a snippet of a scene or a verbal image. My story started with an image glued in my head of a woman tearing a letter or document to shreds... so much anger.
I brainstormed with Zombie to nail a transitional moment in the arc. The first draft I have saved was 112 words. We stripped it bare and I was actually under 50 words. I let it sit overnight--a rest period is essential as it lets me look at my writing with fresher eyes, although ideally it would be left for a week.
I wasn't confident with that draft the next morning, so I contacted a few people and asked for more feedback. Negativer kindly got back to me. He pointed out that something was missing. His suggestion wasn't quite right for the vision I had for my characters, but his comment threw up a red flag for me and I put the story on hold another day.
Today I spread out more requests for help, and got support from Anike Kirsten, Constance Watson, and Jasmine Arch, along with more great feedback from the Zombie and his worms. The story you saw above was the result of all this work. I lost count of how many revisions we went through today. Swapping a word here and a word there. Trade this sentence for that idea. It was intense, exhausting, and absolutely glorious.
The lesson in this--if you need one--even tiny stories deserve to be made into the best version of themselves they can be. And if you start with too many words, don't give up. Get out a machete and some solid writing mates and get to work.
Posted from my blog with SteemPress : http://www.rjeanbell.com/2018/07/08/the-offer-fifty-word-microfiction/
Wow. The story is amazing, and you achieved your goal of writing a succinct and yet complete story in just 50 words. I loved reading about your writing and editing process! Editing is so key with these little pieces, because every word really must earn its right to be there. I think it’s wonderful that you enrolled the help of friends with an editorial eye to help finely tune your story. Thank you very much for sharing your process. I’ve resteemed this one!
Thank you!
It's only fun if I push myself and learn something. I may have to revisit that 112 word one later and build it into a larger flash. It had a lot more depth that I miss here.
You did such a great job on this, Bex. Aren't these satisfing? Like creating a painting with one or two brushstrokes, you really do need to think about every word you put in there. But it's so worth it when you look back.
Hugs
It is. Plus I would hate to post work I couldn't be proud of. This is something I really can stand up and say "I did my best--with help--and I learned a lot doing it."
This was a lot of fun to work on with you, @bex-dk. I love how a single image in the mind can turn into a fully fledged story. Nice work on this!
It wouldn't have existed without you. I'd have given up because I was tired. But doing it together... it made it fun and got me writing again. We have to keep following these challenges and do more of these, even if they take several hours out of our other writing time.
A really well crafted piece.. Great to get an insight into how you penned it too... looking forward to reading many more of your fifty words. Welcome to the clan :o)
Thanks! I need to get over and check yours out more thoroughly than from Jayna's mention.
I love that you included some backstory on your writing process. I've tried to include additional 'meta content' around my 50 word stories to offer extra context or insight, and I think it's a boon to the reader to get some more information than just the 50 words themselves. As always, you've turned your experience into a teaching moment.
And the story turned out great as well! :)
Thanks to your help. If you hadn't set up that flag, I'd not have done that last day of editing that really made the difference. But you're right about adding more content. Especially because I think it can give casual readers more appreciation of how much really goes into them, instead of looking and saying, "She's got 10 bucks in upvotes from a 50 word post. Talk about reward pool rape..." They may be short, but they aren't something you just dash off.
Hi! :D
Thanks for going beyond the story and sharing your process with us.
I'm glad to hear that you feel you have the breathing space to do something like this. Bravo!
😄😇😄
Thanks. A bit of breathing room to do my own thing was long overdue. I'd been prioritizing others for too long. It feels good... helps me start feeling like me again.
I look forward to reading more from you. ;)
Yeah, glad a professional writer thinks that too.
I too make few revisions before posting them, sometimes changing the original idea altogether to make the 50 words result be good.
It could easily take several tries to get these right. If I hadn't talked my idea through with someone before I started writing, I probably would have had to trash my first one. It's better to take time and do it right. Always post something you can really be proud of.