Best Friends (Read or listen to the story)

Viggo had no friends. He ate alone, he slept alone, he walked the streets alone. He really wanted to talk to someone, but he was just too shy. He’d heard bars were good places to meet people, but he had never been to one. He thought he should probably give it a try.

He ordered a whiskey. He was sitting there, alone. There were other people there as well, but he didn’t dare to speak to any of them. Even the bartender was scary.

If I just get a little bit drunk, maybe I’ll get rid of my social anxiety. He had another. And one more.

-…so I’ve had this bar ever since. The conversation was going well. Viggo and the bartender were even getting along. This alcohol thing was great. Now he was talking with a another client as well. “So, where are you from?” If he drank a bit more, maybe he would even dare to talk to a girl.

-You’re an asshole, you know that? You’re a fucking. ah..ash… asshole, that’s what you are… The bartender seemed to ignore him completely. It pissed him off.

-Hey, you shouldn’t be talking like that to… The other client held a hand out as to calm Viggo down.

-F-ffuck you! Viggo got off his chair. He felt strong, invincible. He found it necessary to teach this guy a lesson. He sent out a punch towards his face, missed, spun half a round, and fell on the floor.

-That’s it, the bartender said. -Lets get this guy out of here. The two men grabbed him by the legs and shoulders and threw him out in the street. He stayed on the ground. His back hurt. At least it felt like it should.

-You assholes, he mumbled when the two men went in. -You’re some fucking bassstards, you know that? You…

-What’s up? A voice beside him. He turned his head slowly. A pink elephant was sitting there, watching him.

-Those sons of bitches threw me… they fucking jus… threw me…

-That’s horrible! The elephant looked chocked. -What a vicious thing to do!

-It… it is, isn’t it! Viggo was pleasantly surprised by the elephant’s support.

-Hey, why don’t you come hang out with me? We can have a great time together.

Viggo was so happy. Someone wanted to hang out with him! They walked down the road together.

-We’re going to need some more booze, the elephant said.

Viggo hesitated.

-I’m not sure if that’s such a good id…

-If we’re going to hang out, we’re going to need some booze. If not, I’m going to have to split.

Viggo didn’t want that. They went into a liquor store.

-That one. The elephant was pointing at a bottle with a nice little etiquette. The liquid inside had a beautiful green colour.

They emptied the bottle together, falling from one side of the road to the other, laughing, screaming, breaking windows… you name it. It was awesome.

-I love hanging out with you, man, said the pink elephant. -You’re the best pal ever.

Viggo felt the same way.

He woke up in a cornfield beside a tractor. The corn was put down by big circles of tractor tracks all over. Viggo’s head hurt, and he couldn’t see the pink elephant anywhere.

He started walking home. He didn’t remember much, but he knew he’d had a hell of a time last night. The pink elephant was fantastic, and he knew exactly where to find him:

Right there on the bottom of the bottle.

(Text, illustration and voice are all my own, all rights reserved. Please share.)