Beauty Invites Questions, The Body Entices Curiosity

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What is beauty? that is the question that has always haunted him for decades. chaotic feelings and anxiety that can not be removed easily before he does what he has done so often. his room contains a wide range of photos of women of all ages. taped to various walls and corners. he lay tired and his eyes stared at the ceiling. what is beauty?. Vall started from death. when the boy's face taught him what is the color of blood. accidents that claimed his entire family, never lost and escaped his memory. he became a quiet boy. but soon he was able to laugh freely and became popular among the girls. everyone who knows him thinks he's wonderful and fun: smart, handsome, from a rich family, very polite, and always easy to help people who need his help. he liked a lot of people. but it never made her feel again. many times he tried to feel loving, singing, or even sick and hate, but he was no longer able to feel it. he has tried many times but all his efforts to arouse the sensitivity of his feelings always fail. he grows into a fun but empty man. his body does not contain. the soul in it has been lost. he just has a body. he was adopted by a wealthy family after the events that claimed his entire family. although the wealth left by his family was sufficient for him to live for generations, but he never questioned and cared for it. he grows into a very handsome man. many are hoping to become their partner. all women are crazy about her. but for some reason, he never felt interested. he spends his time reading books, climbing mountains, surfing, watching the cinema, fishing, visiting art galleries, playing the piano, going to the theater and traveling around the country. with the wealth he inherited and from his adoptive family, he can actually do anything, but he simply chooses to fill his life by doing the things he loves. he does not like luxury and the like. he just wants to flow like the wind. in freedom to choose what he likes and not without being determined or compelled by anyone. trying to give meaning to life even though he no longer knows what it feels and affection.

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While at school, he is often uncomfortable with the attention given by friends, teachers, and girls who are fighting for his attention. he wants calm. enjoying it all alone without being too distracted by others. excessive attention makes him very uncomfortable. often disturbing rather than making himself happy. it has been so long he can not feel the meaning of a concern. love, affection, attention, and the like, he does not quite understand. and what made her most uncomfortable were the girls who always wanted to take her attention. he is often annoyed. especially when they mock each other, throw insults, and boast of what he has just for the koyol thing to get his heart or little attention. and the more that he can not stand is the pride of the beauty they have. smooth and beautiful face. clean white skin. beautiful hair. a model-like body. and all the trinkets that adorn it. they think, such beauty makes him able to re-awaken the feelings that are in him. when he feels uncomfortable like that, he usually avoids all the girls who surround him or run around chasing him while screaming hysterically. then he went to the school library or looking for the sea. he wants to avoid all that. beauty always makes him anxious and restless. maybe it was because of his experience in childhood with his mama. at that time he did not quite understand why mama always busy to the salon. she also does not understand why mama is always crazy about buying this shirt and that, these shoes and that, these and that jewelry, and many others as there is no day without shopping. when mama meets her friends talk about brand and price, about famous designer and others. always like that. and more make him not understand when mama prefer to go to the salon rather than pick her up at school.

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mother prefers to salon rather than go see herself at school stage. mama prefers to salon rather than seeing and celebrating her graduation day. when he asked why mama would prefer to salon rather than celebrate her birthday, mama always said the same thing, "mama no dear promise, and mama have to keep it, besides to salon is obligation, same as shopping, so mama can not leave it. tomorrow-mama will celebrate a special day with you, mama's promise. " then mama went away. as usual. the promise was never fulfilled. always like that. for years. from everything she'd ever remembered, the mama she knew was always in front of the mirror for hours. forget all the things and even forget about its existence when it is in the mirror. as if the soul and heart of mama is in the mirror. not for papa and himself. during the mirror, mama always looks admired her beauty. her face. eyebrows. her lips are mama sensual and charming words. beautiful and deep eyes. his chin. her long black hair. and his whole body. he often heard mom saying words of praise for himself when in front of the mirror. changing clothes to wear. change the makeup. change hairstyle and so on. as if time stood in front of a mirror for mama. he did not understand it all. what is beauty for mom? when mama in front of the mirror, he never dared to disturb him. although his stomach feels very painful because he has not eaten. just as when mama prefers to be in a shopping center rather than invite her to eat and to fill her stomach when she is hungry. mama prefers beauty rather than herself. that's what made him not understand until the day. as well as when he saw his schoolmates or girls showing off his body and beauty only to draw his attention. just as with mama, beauty seems to be more meaningful than anything in this world. he still does not understand. why women and girls really admire and boast of the beauty he has? what does he want from that beauty? what did he get from that beauty? does beauty always make a woman like that? he still does not understand and often he does not want to know and care.

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But for some reason, insofar as he tries to avoid caring or caring about beauty and the like, the world seems to be filled and filled with all kinds of variety everywhere. he can not run or hide. as if he felt besieged and caged. when he turned on the tv screen, all talked about and raced to show face, body, and beauty. when he opened magazines and newspapers, various types were also there. when he was walking and trying to enjoy solitude, the streets put big faces similar to what his mother did to her body and face. in the same school. as if beauty can make it theirs. when he's in bookstores, movies, watching music videos, art performances, and almost everything, always about the body, the beauty, and the things that go with it, is in any place and space. all were recorded continuously dipikirannya. similar to a disease that continues to undermine his consciousness and his view of the world over the years. all the women and girls he met and saw as if he were competing in the curves of his body, the vital parts they possessed, and the faces they perceived might be beautiful and extraordinary. but he still does not understand, for what all that? he is a little contemplative, when the girls chase him by wearing the beauty they have, maybe that's one of the functions and meaning of beauty for them. one of them to get the things they want. but for what other beauty is that very much and everywhere? then why his mama linger in front of the mirror when there is no one besides him who is there? things like that make him always uncomfortable. he tried not to think about it. but those thoughts come by themselves. over and over and made him more anxious and anxious. and more often day by day.

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one when he enrolled in social networking, facebook, as a condition to join in a community he wanted to follow. he posted a profile photo that he felt was appropriate to reflect his personality and some other photographs he should upload to meet the requirements of a community member. he chose the jack raven name for his account. jack is his first name. while raven is one of the characters he admired in the big screen movie. but she did not expect that, the day after she enrolled herself on facebook, the girls she knew at school went directly to the list of friend requests. more days the number was more and more. not only from the school alone, but from all over the world. in the virtual world, many girls commented on photographs that he uploaded, status and so on with great enthusiasm and hysterics when he answered them. so also in the message, many who greeted him and wanted to talk with him. but out of all of that, more is being shy by just liking the photo and status he uploads for the community he's following. and what makes her feel strange and surprised is the sheer number of photos of girls uploaded on facebook with various poses, styles, and more. from start to just show faces that to them may be beautiful, accentuate her breasts, show off their thighs and even pose almost naked. he thought, what is it all for? almost every day and every minute he was treated by all that while being in the virtual world. he still does not understand. he was just awakened when the girls who were chasing him at school also do the same thing and very often. even sometimes they do not hesitate to ask for his opinion, whether he is pretty or not. is she sexy enough and fascinating. whether he can impress him. the girls not only compete in school but in cyberspace they do it. even they seem to be very brave in social networking. but is it just for the attention of the girls to show off all her body and face? the night he could not sleep and think of all that. what is beauty? and what is beauty for them?.

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"Beauty exists as a destructive prison and dependence when a woman considers beauty to be everything and without beauty it is like nothing or no life," as that sounds the sentence she read in a book while she was in the library. he thought, is it like that? is that what makes her mad to be crazy about beauty? lingering in front of the glass even if he was hungry or not when he was a boy. often he did not want to obey his thoughts and try to ignore them. then he went up the mountain, went to sea, or traveled as usual. but everything he did was useless. because wherever he is; face, body, nudity and so on are always present in front of his eyes and into his mind. then he decided to find out what beauty is. he bought and read books of philosophy, aesthetics and art, and the like. he gets more and more confused. he was increasingly clueless. books do not make themselves satisfied and even make them confused. although he knows, he has a high intelligence. but books can not answer what the meaning and meaning of beauty for women. he decided to better observe it. maybe he'll find the answer. he began to notice his schoolmates and the girls who were still fighting over him. he was increasingly frequent in cyberspace, observing the various girls in it. observing their reactions when he replied to comments and so forth. or occasionally comment on their photos and see how they respond. then he noticed, that many prefer to upload their photos just to be liked or commented on with a variety of compliments. when many of them did not reply to it, but every day they do the same thing. What does it mean? he thought. trying to understand why girls do it almost every day. as if it were a necessity or something. he still does not understand. but after a while he watched, pondered, analyzed, he finally understood a little.

it may be true the book he read then that beauty is a prison. beauty becomes the need to strengthen oneself. beauty is used to achieve, reach, and compete. beauty is life itself. beauty becomes everything because many women think beauty is their ultimate source of life. so that every day and every time they are all crazy about every detail of their own beauty; from the lips to the curves of the body. she also knows, for women, beauty means confidence, seeking attention from around and the opposite sex, they all need assessment from outsiders in order to make them feel comfortable and cared for. that's why women are willing to do anything to maintain the beauty even if it must hurt themselves or forget and do not care about many things. the thirst for beauty has become a prison for the woman herself. the more he learns it, the more he becomes deeper in the world of women and increasingly obsessed with it. then he asked, what kind of beauty a woman diingkan? the girls she met? and what kind of beauty does her mama put her mama out of her as a child?. he thinks and ponders, does not women have thoughts and hearts? can not that also make them look beautiful and fascinating? but why more are desperate to pay attention, dress up, and change their faces and body excessively? does beauty mean is physical? does she regard physical beauty as anything more than her own mind and heart? then what kind of beauty is needed and desired by women all this time? he thought deeper. whether the beauty is judged separately or complementary? whether beauty is only in the eyes, on the skin, on the lips, on the face, in the hair, in the body, etc. or all of them? then what is the ideal eye, ideal skin, ideal lips, ideal hair, ideal body and other it? whether it should be all perfect as desired or not? or does beauty only mean in certain parts or all of it? from the start of the eyelashes, teeth, nose to the vital tool.

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If beauty is made up of all ideals and desires desired, then what happens if one is not fulfilled? what a woman feels if she knows she does not have the lips that she likes. he has an improper face. he has eyes that are not right for him. he has a body that is not as he expected and so on. does that mean that beauty will be reduced for women? and will it have a huge effect on them? then he arrived at some sort of conclusion; what if a woman's beauty is perfect and admire nothing to anyone? what if one of the beauty possessed by a woman is defective or lost by something or something? is it a disaster or what is it like? would it make a woman go crazy or how? he keeps asking himself every day. all that has become an obsession in him. the beauty and the inner self have been full of mind and mindlessness. the more the day he became more anxious and restless. the anxiety grew even more intense if he did not find the answers to his own questions about beauty. until one day, his world changed instantly. the search for the meaning of beauty and what it meant to him, made him turn into something unimaginable before. when he returns to remember the childhood as long as he is ignored by his mama, he suddenly feels tremendous pain. a pain he had never felt before. sometimes to get rid of those thoughts, he immediately fell into bed and fell asleep. but those thoughts will soon demand more from him. those thoughts want to be satisfied. in his dream, he finds a girl crying in front of the mirror. the girl continued to cry and cry. he did not know why, he tried to approach him. after he was right behind the girl, the girl turned and shocked her and wanted to run. her eyes kept crying, her face was no longer mouth, nose, even eyebrows. he runs and runs. until finally he woke up breathless. while minimizing the water to calm himself, he began to think, if only if a woman loses the beauty she has?.

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Beauty invites questions. the body entices curiosity. crows flying in the air. time stops. rain pours between fairy tales and screaming faces. the hands of the past danced in the head. a dead city and a renewing sin. defects born of beauty. faces who came to curse themselves. the world that contains the night. footprints that step between the pulses and softly. death born of beauty.

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