Wow Raj808, just, wow! Your flow is perfect. (I smiled with your tiger line, remembering your freewrite continuation.) Enough detail to feel there, in the moment, but not so much that it bogs the story down. The idea of interconnection through a neural chain and moving to a different type of existence gives one a lot to think on! Would that be a blessing or a curse?
Thank you @brisby. I'm glad you noticed that, I felt the inspiration coming from that freewrite series as I wrote that line. It's strange how stories bleed into each other, melting together in the subconscious.
The idea of interconnection through a neural chain and moving to a different type of existence gives one a lot to think on! Would that be a blessing or a curse?
An interesting question. I think you may have gleaned pretty astutely what I was trying for at the end of this story. Despite the gruesome description I wanted to get across the ambiguity of traditional moral constructs in the context of a world where there is symbiosis between the real and virtual. Where an AI can grant immortality and separation from human emotions. It is indeed a question of blessing or a curse? Or maybe just so alien that it goes beyond those definitions. I love it when a steemit comment inspires philosophy. Thanks for your wonderful comment :-)
Congratulations! This post has been upvoted from the communal account, @minnowsupport, by raj808 from the Minnow Support Project. It's a witness project run by aggroed, ausbitbank, teamsteem, theprophet0, someguy123, neoxian, followbtcnews, and netuoso. The goal is to help Steemit grow by supporting Minnows. Please find us at the Peace, Abundance, and Liberty Network (PALnet) Discord Channel. It's a completely public and open space to all members of the Steemit community who voluntarily choose to be there.
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Thanks @dirge from a great beginning an ending was born :-) I wanted to take off in a different direction from where I saw the start was leading me to, while hopefully making it fit. I haven't written any SciFi in ages and my mind was just screaming out for a bit of the futurefantastic. Cheers for the great prompt/beginning m8 :-)
Yeah, the inspiration for the Tiger line came from a previous fiction series I wrote based off the 5 min freewrite prompts. Tigers feature prominently in my subconcious landscape and keep cropping up in my stories. Maybe I'm destined to be eaten by one in India or something lol. Thanks for reading, glad you enjoyed the part 2 to dirge's fantastic beginning :-)
Your post has been upvoted by the Curie community curation project and associated vote trail as exceptional content (human curated and reviewed). Keep creating awesome stuff! Have a great day :)
The final paragraph is the best thing I've read today, and probably one of the best descriptions I've read since longtime.
Thank you for participating to the contest with this awesome entry!
Wow, many thanks for such words of praise @marcoriccardi and such a kind welcome to the contest. It's appreciated as I've not tackled any fiction writing for a while as I've just been so busy with other projects on steemit. Although I love writing fiction, it takes a little more time than poetry, so while I've been hectic I've been focusing mainly on poetry. I wasn't sure if I might have lost my edge with fiction writing lol. Your words have reassured me :-)
I'm glad you saw that @theironfelix yes the ending in particular was meant to convey the idea of beyond good and evil for sure. I kinda wanted it to simply reflect the strangers (AI cloud based organism) way of thinking, not a good and evil thing, but rather its idea of bringing everyone from the outside world into its communal intelligence, gifting them immortality in the cloud. It's a question of perspective if they are going to heaven or hell, despite the horrific circumstances which led them all to be a part of the hivemind ;-)
It's a great pleasure to have you here Rowan and thanks for your special contribution (I knew it before reading that it was going to be something out of the lines). If I think about it, the plot is a classic development with a touch of originality in the VR-neural chain idea. But, man, the way you depicted it is unique! I was impressed by the accuracy of your descriptions and lexicon...
A giant muscular figure in a flux of Brownian motion
These are true gems.
And I agree that the final climax was visionary and worthy to be the screenplay of a Clive Barker movie.
When are we going to launch the neural chain ICO?
Ha ha neural chain ICO... hmnnn not sure I want to unleash that on the world. It really made me happy that and a little giddy that you draw comparison with Clive Barker as he's one of my favorite authors. He's from my neck of the woods too and wrote parts of Weave World inspired by parts of Liverpool city center. I guess if I wanted to be any writer it would be him, ha ha who wouldn't want to write that well and then have a book picked up by Hollywood. But seriously, your words have inspired me to pursue more SciFi and maybe have a crack at a novel at some point over the next few years :-)
I'm honored that I gave you such inspiration @raj808. As a matter of fact, this space, more than a contest, aspires to become a fiction ongoing workshop. I can't hide that I'd love to see you again here experimenting with us :-)
Yeah man, for sure I shall be back with another offering :-) It is a great idea and I had seen the finish-the-story-contest initiative before. I just hadn't been in that wonderful creative state where the words flow for fiction.
Wow Raj808, just, wow! Your flow is perfect. (I smiled with your tiger line, remembering your freewrite continuation.) Enough detail to feel there, in the moment, but not so much that it bogs the story down. The idea of interconnection through a neural chain and moving to a different type of existence gives one a lot to think on! Would that be a blessing or a curse?
Congrats on receiving a Curie vote! 😁
Thank you @brisby. I'm glad you noticed that, I felt the inspiration coming from that freewrite series as I wrote that line. It's strange how stories bleed into each other, melting together in the subconscious.
An interesting question. I think you may have gleaned pretty astutely what I was trying for at the end of this story. Despite the gruesome description I wanted to get across the ambiguity of traditional moral constructs in the context of a world where there is symbiosis between the real and virtual. Where an AI can grant immortality and separation from human emotions. It is indeed a question of blessing or a curse? Or maybe just so alien that it goes beyond those definitions. I love it when a steemit comment inspires philosophy. Thanks for your wonderful comment :-)
Congratulations! This post has been upvoted from the communal account, @minnowsupport, by raj808 from the Minnow Support Project. It's a witness project run by aggroed, ausbitbank, teamsteem, theprophet0, someguy123, neoxian, followbtcnews, and netuoso. The goal is to help Steemit grow by supporting Minnows. Please find us at the Peace, Abundance, and Liberty Network (PALnet) Discord Channel. It's a completely public and open space to all members of the Steemit community who voluntarily choose to be there.
If you would like to delegate to the Minnow Support Project you can do so by clicking on the following links: 50SP, 100SP, 250SP, 500SP, 1000SP, 5000SP.
Be sure to leave at least 50SP undelegated on your account.
lul what the hell? this was pretty crazy (in a good way). Android VR neural chain and the oneness with those crowds in the eternal charred dimension
Thanks @dirge from a great beginning an ending was born :-) I wanted to take off in a different direction from where I saw the start was leading me to, while hopefully making it fit. I haven't written any SciFi in ages and my mind was just screaming out for a bit of the futurefantastic. Cheers for the great prompt/beginning m8 :-)
The line about entering the room and walking like a tiger prowls really set the tone. From then on everything just flowed. Enjoyed reading this.
Yeah, the inspiration for the Tiger line came from a previous fiction series I wrote based off the 5 min freewrite prompts. Tigers feature prominently in my subconcious landscape and keep cropping up in my stories. Maybe I'm destined to be eaten by one in India or something lol. Thanks for reading, glad you enjoyed the part 2 to dirge's fantastic beginning :-)
Hi raj808,
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Thanks @curie, I'm really glad you enjoyed the story and value my fiction.
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The final paragraph is the best thing I've read today, and probably one of the best descriptions I've read since longtime.
Thank you for participating to the contest with this awesome entry!
Wow, many thanks for such words of praise @marcoriccardi and such a kind welcome to the contest. It's appreciated as I've not tackled any fiction writing for a while as I've just been so busy with other projects on steemit. Although I love writing fiction, it takes a little more time than poetry, so while I've been hectic I've been focusing mainly on poetry. I wasn't sure if I might have lost my edge with fiction writing lol. Your words have reassured me :-)
I also thought the last paragraph was excellent, great description.
That was one of the best descriptions of my idea of "hell" and it resembles one of my youth nightmares of damned melting flesh. Powerful.
Now this, this feels like the Matrix but for robots and especially when the story goes beyond the good and evil morality.
I'm glad you saw that @theironfelix yes the ending in particular was meant to convey the idea of beyond good and evil for sure. I kinda wanted it to simply reflect the strangers (AI cloud based organism) way of thinking, not a good and evil thing, but rather its idea of bringing everyone from the outside world into its communal intelligence, gifting them immortality in the cloud. It's a question of perspective if they are going to heaven or hell, despite the horrific circumstances which led them all to be a part of the hivemind ;-)
Thanks for reading and your insightful comment
It's a great pleasure to have you here Rowan and thanks for your special contribution (I knew it before reading that it was going to be something out of the lines). If I think about it, the plot is a classic development with a touch of originality in the VR-neural chain idea. But, man, the way you depicted it is unique! I was impressed by the accuracy of your descriptions and lexicon...
These are true gems.
And I agree that the final climax was visionary and worthy to be the screenplay of a Clive Barker movie.
When are we going to launch the neural chain ICO?
Ha ha neural chain ICO... hmnnn not sure I want to unleash that on the world. It really made me happy that and a little giddy that you draw comparison with Clive Barker as he's one of my favorite authors. He's from my neck of the woods too and wrote parts of Weave World inspired by parts of Liverpool city center. I guess if I wanted to be any writer it would be him, ha ha who wouldn't want to write that well and then have a book picked up by Hollywood. But seriously, your words have inspired me to pursue more SciFi and maybe have a crack at a novel at some point over the next few years :-)
I'm honored that I gave you such inspiration @raj808. As a matter of fact, this space, more than a contest, aspires to become a fiction ongoing workshop. I can't hide that I'd love to see you again here experimenting with us :-)
Yeah man, for sure I shall be back with another offering :-) It is a great idea and I had seen the finish-the-story-contest initiative before. I just hadn't been in that wonderful creative state where the words flow for fiction.
When you feel like, we're always here opening doors on new universes :-D
I didn't expect here to be a machine. Nice twist.