Interview With A Psychopath - War Profiteer And Merciless Marauder Tim Spicer (SATIRE)

Today we speak with a violent coward and expert in the mass murder business.  

Media Stooge (grinning into camera):  Good evening, all you passive information consumers out there! Welcome to another edition of “Interview With A Psychopath” here on BNN!  Our guest tonight is a super psychopathic soul-dier in Satan’s dark army of slavery, former Lieutenant Colonel Tim Spicer! (turns to face Tim Spicer)  Welcome, Tim.  Are you ready to gloat about all of your evil deeds?

Tim Spicer:  Always!  

Media Stooge:  You don’t get the same amount of attention as other gangsters-for-hire like Erik Prince from Blackwater, so I suppose you’re really relishing this opportunity.  Tim, I’d like to mainly focus today on your violent exploits as a private mercenary, but first, let’s touch on your time with the more well-known violent cult known as the British Military.  What was your favorite mass slaughter that you participated in during your time with that evil syndicate?

Tim Spicer (giddy):  Oh, hands down, it was Bosnia.    
Media Stooge:  That was during the mid-90s, right?

Tim Spicer:  That’s right.
Media Stooge:  Any particular reason your time there was so special?

Tim Spicer:  I was working closely with the violent peace forces of the UN, so there were some insane parties!   
Media Stooge:  Yes, every psychopath knows that nobody has a hedonistic crime-fest quite like UN peacekeepers!   

Tim Spicer:  They’re on another level, lemme tell ya! The parties I went to there would make Harvey Weinstein blush!

Media Stooge: Now that’s a bold statement! Tim, you also spent time in Northern Ireland during the early 90s, where you were involved in a bit of controversy.  Two extortion-funded order-followers under your command shot an unarmed man in the back and killed him.  They were prosecuted, but released almost immediately.  You said that they didn’t do anything wrong.  Is shooting an unarmed person in the back not wrong?

Tim Spicer (puffed-up):  Not if the shooter’s wearin a uniform!
Media Stooge:  Spoken like the purely egotistical, cowardly thug that you are!

Tim Spicer (blushing):  Oh, you’re just trying to get on my good side.
Media Stooge (puzzled):  Good side?…...Tim, around that same time, you were given the award of Officer of the Order of The British Empire.  How special was that for you?

Tim Spicer:  That was a real honor because, as you know, the British Empire has a long, rich history of murdering, plundering, and enslaving.  It was a defining moment in my career to be admitted into that evil club.    

Media Stooge (dreamy):  I can only imagine, for I am but a simple mind manipulator that reads a teleprompter.  Anyway, let’s move onto the plague of plunder you’ve helped to unleash on the world from the so-called “private sector”.  In 2002, you were one of the founders of a company called Aegis Defence Services.  Can you tell me what prompted you to start such a massive project at that time?   

Tim Spicer:  Well, as soon as 9/11 happened, I knew that the murder and marauder business would have a boom like never before, so I didn’t waste any time setting up shop.    

Media Stooge:  No you didn’t!  Within just two years, Aegis received a contract worth nearly 300 million violence-backed federal reserve notes from the extortion funded gang called the US government.  Can you titillate me with some details about what your gang of order-following terrorists did exactly?

Tim Spicer (smug):  Well, our main task was to coordinate the tens of thousands of private mercenaries in Iraq, which was the second largest order-following force there.
Media Stooge:  Second only to the murderous mob known as the US military.

Tim Spicer:  Right.  So our job was to do the murdering, torturing, raping, and pillaging that the regular military couldn’t do.

Media Stooge:  Fascinating.  Did you go out there and take part in the wanton violence as well, or were you just an armchair mobster at that point in your Satanic career?

Tim Spicer:  Oh, no, I definitely went out in the field.  I still do sometimes.  I really get off on the adrenaline from dominating defenseless people.

Media Stooge:  Yes, many order-followers do.  There were rumors that sometimes ruthless pirates from so-called private security forces would shoot people for sport in Iraq.  It’s been claimed that Iraqis sometimes refer to thugs like yourself as “black death”.  Is there any substance to that?

Tim Spicer:  First of all, I love that nickname! I’m thinking about getting it tattooed on my forehead.
Media Stooge:  Black death on your forehead? How subtle…..

Tim Spicer:  And we didn’t just shoot Iraqis for sport! We’d make bets, too!
Media Stooge:  Really!?   

Tim Spicer:  Yeah, ya know, soul-diers in the private sector can easily make six figures, and they’re all hyped up on about a zillion different chemicals, so gambling is immensely popular.    

Media Stooge:  Gotta pass the time somehow, right?  Tim, based on what I know about you, it seems that you think you’re above the law, and in many ways, I suppose that’s true. Man's morally relativistic law, anyway.  However, I just gotta ask, do you ever worry about karmic consequences for your actions?   

Tim Spicer (leans in close, gruff):  Do you really think I’d do what I do if I were worried about any stinkin consequences?

Media Stooge:  I’m sure your dark occult masters will get a bellowing, demonic cackle out of that.  They always do whenever ignorant order-followers do their bidding.  Tim, let me ask you this.  Of all the things you've stolen over your decades of rampant criminality, what would you say was the most valuable, other than life, rights, and private property, of course. 

Tim Spicer:  Well, let's put it this way.  I'm not saying I did steal gold bars in Iraq, but I'm also not saying I didn't (winks).

Media Stooge (winks back):  Gotcha.  Well, just one final question before we let ya go. Can you tell us the most important, key element to your illusory, materialistic, so-called success? 

Tim Spicer:  You mean other than being absolutely heartless?
Media Stooge:  Of course, that goes without saying.

Tim Spicer:  Well, I suppose that like many other criminal corporations, the use of cheap labor has been quite the booster to profit margins, and thus to my own fat pockets.    

Media Stooge (confused):  But I thought you said that guys in your criminal business make six figures.

Tim Spicer:  Well, lots of them do.  The ones from the UK and USA, anyway.  But we also employ people from other parts of the world, South America, for example, that get paid very few violence-backed federal reserve notes.    

Media Stooge:  Quite the evil genius, Tim.  Some pirates are more equal than others, in such dystopias, you might say.  (cackles) Well, I’m afraid we’re out of time.  Thanks for telling the world about your evil actions that are contributing to the world of slavery we live in.    

Tim Spicer (smug smirk):  My pleasure.    

Media Stooge (looking into camera):  Thanks for tuning in, wage slaves! Stay tuned for more mind-control messages here on BNN! 

Learn about the real Tim Spicer and his connections @

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tim_Spicer#References

https://www.garda.com/?origin=aegis

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sandline_affair

https://www.vanityfair.com/news/2007/04/spicer200704

https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2006/may/20/comment.military

https://www.nytimes.com/1994/09/25/world/british-commander-in-bosnia-in-a-quagmire-and-sniped-at-from-all-sides.html

https://www.thenation.com/article/tim-spicers-world/

https://www.globalresearch.ca/aegis-defence-services-lt-col-tim-spicer-and-the-murder-of-peter-mcbride/1399

https://www.independent.co.uk/news/mi6-backed-africa-coup-1176189.html

https://www.bloomberg.com/research/stocks/private/person.asp?personId=32751239&privcapId=2673708&previousCapId=3128005&previousTitle=Columbia%20University 

Thanks for your time and attention!

Just say "NO" to slavery!

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