THE AWAKENING: A PIECE OF FICTION

in #fiction5 years ago

The doors are closing and the darkness is becoming bright. There is a soft click and darkness has become home. There are no voices, no wind, no life here, just me. Am I alive? Is this life? There is nothing here. I take a step.


fantasy-2847724_1280.jpg
pixabay: Kellepics


The ground underneath my bare feet is rock. I perceive no dust. What am I saying, can I breathe in a place where there is no air? I take another step.

I feel as if I will be walking infinitely in this darkness. I feel that this will be the sum total of all of my eternity. It is a lonesome thing to envisage. So this is death? I take another step.

Time is irrelevant here. There is no day and there is no night. There is no rest and there is no idea of space. You need light to envisage space. In the darkness, nothing exists. I do not know if I have been walking for days, hours, months, minutes, years, and seconds. I know nothing.

I think that is the biggest pain, the lack of knowledge. If I can get an idea of what I have become, where I am and who I was, maybe I would find certain comfort. In this case, I do not seek this knowledge in order to set me free. I seek it for the comfort of knowing something. Knowing gives a semblance of living I think.

This could be hell. It is certainly not heaven. I doubt if it is purgatory. Is there a purpose to these movements? Is there a destination that is beyond my understanding or am I just roaming aimlessly, lost in the silent darkness? I take a step.

I think I used to be something more. I feel like the name is almost on my lips, like a revelation is about to come but I can’t seem to get it out. Something is wrong but I cannot define it. I am lost.

The ground has started to climb. I am climbing a hill. The rocks underneath my feet do not crumble and roll down as I crush them in my movement. I hear nothing. I keep climbing. Maybe at the top, there will be light or an answer to my question.

I take a step forward as I climb and then I fall. I open my mouth to scream but no words leave me. My sounds die as thoughts in my brain, never to be birthed into the air; infanticide. I fall, silent, no sound of wind in my ears, no wind wrenched tear fleeing my eyes, no sound from my lips to express my fear. I stop falling as I land in a liquid.

A fear grips me; I cannot swim. I flail and struggle but it feels as if a thousand arms hold me or like I had fallen into a vacuous fluid. Yet I do not drown. I cease my frantic movement and realize that I am floating. This is a dead liquid. If I can’t drown then I have mass. Do spirits have mass? I float.


I am not moving, just staring into the darkness. Do I have eyes? I wonder. Do my ears work? Do I have a vocal chord? What if all my five senses have been pulled out or blocked and I am in a darkness of my own making? What if people are all around me, screaming my name, begging me to stop, to stand still? What if I have become the tool of fate and have lost the control of my will? I float.

This is worth thinking about. It could be that I have lost myself within myself and this darkness is of my own making. It could be that right now, my body lies on a hospital bed, a family by my sides, counting rosary beads, praying, crying, hoping? What are rosary beads? What is a hospital? How do I know these things? This is knowledge? Yes. I float.

I must have a family. The imagination is a wild thing but it is tethered to reality in some way. I cannot imagine what I have not scratched off the face of my experience. This means that I may be a catholic and I may have had an accident or a debilitating illness and as a result I may be either dead or about to die. My dead sea ripples.

Death. I am dead or about to die. I have deduced something. I am human. I have knowledge. I have answered the questions or parts of them. I have an idea of who I am, what I am and maybe where I am. This is something. The ripple spreads and grabs me and soon I am moving fast. I am no longer floating. I am being propelled forward towards something; a definite destination.

How much time has passed, I still do not know. The current is strong in this sea and I speed along. Suddenly, I stop. It is weird. My body is being pulled forward but something holds me back. I open my eyes and I see a distant star. It is the north star. It is a light in this eternal darkness. It does not tell me why I have stopped moving.

I turn to see behind me as if I can see anything in the darkness. I see nothing but I sense a presence, a weight and then I hear it; the faint groan of chains and old gates rolling open. Still I see nothing. I peer into the darkness and suddenly I realize that I am speeding back, away from the light. No! I scream but as before, my words die as thoughts in my head and nothing leaves my lips. I crumble.

I have this feeling that the star was a destination, a revelation, maybe salvation but somehow I have been found wanting. Soon I could see nothing of that bright light, that tiny spark. Darkness sink into me and swallow me. I sped backwards.


The darkness compresses my thoughts and slowly I sense my self losing its identity. I drift silently as who I am and what I am and where I am become figments of my imagination, then myths and then nothing; tabula rasa. I drift.

I can still hear the faint sound of the opening gates and beyond that I can hear the faint wails of groaning voices. I open my eyes and raise my hand to the emptiness about and above me. I can not see my hand but I know it is there. That is knowledge. Knowledge is not always something you can see but something that is possible. I float.

It is very possible that I am not dead but waiting to die. It is very possible that right now, my family were gathered about me, praying, crying, counting rosary beads. It is very possible that I could be with them again. I point my finger at the darkness and suddenly all is silent and then I speed up. Yes I sped forward again.

I chuckle in my belly as the star come into view. I chuckle as the weight tries to crush me and drag me back to the darkness. I chuckle as the star become a moon. I chuckle as the wind ruffles my hair and I hear a bird twit then I burst into laughter as bright sunlight flash into me.

I wake up coughing and hearing the roar of a sea all about me. I am drowning I think then hands grab me and hold me. I open my eyes again. It has been closed all this while. Yes I am where I should be and I know who I am. I am back.


©warpedpoetic, 2018.

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This is good @warpedpoetic. You have wrote the greatest fear of human being. You have expressed the emotion dearly in this story. How a person felt in a darkness, do not know where was he, cannot scream, move around in darkness just to find a way out. Then suddenly found out the circumstance, this is his soul where it may forever gone into darkness or back to his body.
The ending is good as well, where some one pull him back from the darkness.

Where you have such story idea? It was terrific. I love the image as well. It matched perfectly with the story.

It just came to me to write it so. I have no idea where it came from. Thank you for stopping by.

I hope more goes to you so you can write more and i can read more. Wondering if you continue this story, how you gonna twisted it.. the darkness pull him away from his body or some angle try to pull his soul back to human body 😛

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That is the part I fear. If I continue, I may not be able to keep the mystery and control of the flow of narrative.

I love to see different interpretations of what people feel/see/whatever else they do when they are about to die. Yours was very interesting to read. It's like I would be that person drowning in darkness, not knowing anything and wondering what is and what isn't knowledge. Not being sure if there is a family, or if I'm at the surgery table surrounded by surgeons. You put so much detail in your writing that it feels like you've been through such an experience already :)

I like that you keep the awakening part short as it's all about the emotions before the awakening. And I truly enjoyed your last sentence. The feeling of knowing.. and now it is how it should be.. perfect!

Thank you for sharing! It's an impressive piece of fiction!

Thank you @delishtreats. I have never had such an experience. My imagination is just warped that way.

I hope I can keep up the good work though. Hope to see you again. Thanks for stopping by.

Hi warpedpoetic,

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