Fifty-word challenge || Overcoming the past

in #fiftywords6 years ago

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Another week has passed, another prompt was given to the Fifty Word clan: pop. @jayna's 50-word challenge gets more and more interesting. 🙂

The story I imagined for this week is built around a strong character, Johnny. He is about to demolish an old barn which seems to give him some hard time. It's like the past was clinging to Johnny and he could not escape the bad memories. But, in the end, he succeeds to put down the barn and to get on with his life.

This micro-fiction story is about overcoming our past, especially our weaknesses which we might inherit. The old barn represents an obstacle hard to be surpassed, something that keeps Johnny from having a happy life. It needs to be removed. And Johnny does it, even if several attempts were needed.
But enough with the introduction! Enjoy my story and feel free to give an honest feedback. 🙂

Johnny checked the wires again as he wanted to make sure everything will work as expected. He could not bear another failure.
One last look to the old barn and he pushed the button. With a big pop, the building crumbled to the ground burying underneath all the bad memories.

P.S.: The photo I used for this post is mine. @jayna always gives me the opportunity to share some of my photographic work, especially the digitally enhanced shots. Another big "thank you" for this.


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Good story. I think all of us have barns we wish we could implode :)

Thank you. I still try to demolish mine but lately I realized that old barns are called life experience and we should try to learn to see them differently. 🙂

You're right, @roxy-cat; at least if they are not too toxic as to suffocate us and trap us in the past, we can at least sieve some good from all the coarseness.

Good luck Roxy!

Thank you, Erika. This is not a contest but a writing challenge. Just exercising our writing skills. 🙂
You may join the clan if you wish.

I might, it's always good to practice 🙂 thanks for the invite! Have a nice weekend 😊

Have a great weekend too...what is left of it. 🙂

Thank you 🙂

This is wonderful, @roxy-cat! And I love the theme behind it. Thank you for sharing that.

Thank you so much, @jayna. I'm very happy you liked my story. 🙂

Nicely done! I enjoyed reading this a lot.

You asked for honest feedback, and there are a couple of words I would change that I think would improve the language without changing the meaning, and still give you 50 words:

...make sure everything would work as expected...
One last look at the old barn...

Steem on! :D

😄😇😄

@creatr

Thank you for the feedback, @creatr. Made a note of it. I reckon that my English needs improvement (second foreign language for me) and this type of feedback is more than helpful.
As for the story, I'm very happy you liked it. 🙂

Hi, @roxy-cat,

For a writer whose English is only a second language, you have done very, very well. :D

I suspected that might be the case, and I am very glad for any little bit of help I am able to offer. Please keep up the great work! ;)

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