Finish the Story - Week #51/The Devisal of Mr. Dankworth - @bananafish

in #finishthestory5 years ago (edited)

1. Finish the Story.jpg
The Devisal of Mr. Dankworth
by @gaby-crb and @calluna

Intro:

The familiar ping jerked through my morning haze, the signal of a new email arriving in my inbox, blared from my laptop. I hastily tapped at the volume. My fingers circled around the warm mug in my hand, the hot brush of steam warning me not to take a sip yet. I checked the screen, 16 new emails already this morning. Working from home had seemed so much easier, I never liked the office, or being out on the road, at least at home I had my own brand of coffee, and my cat Neelix, but the emails never stopped.

I cleared through the top 10 as spam, another 5 were easily filed, the last however caught my attention. My eyes focused on the sender name, I hastily placed my mug on the table and clicked the email. The sound of the news playing on the TV melted into the background, even the smell of my burning toast didn't interrupt my focus.

Good day,

My name is Michael Kent, I am the personal attorney and sole executor to my late client, Mr Ian Dankworth, who shares the same surname with you.

After the death of my client, in an automobile incident, in the year 2007, the bank contacted me to provide his next of kin to inherit his fortune, totaling Thirty Seven Million Bruvna ($37,000,000.00) according to the existing bank records.

I have written several letters to his country embassy with the intent of locating any of his immediate or extended family who will stand as the next of kin and all my efforts has been to no avail.

I have received official letters from the board of directors of the holding bank in the last few weeks suggesting a likely precedent for confiscation of his abandoned personal assets in line with existing laws, therefore I have been issued a 30 working days ultimatum to provide his next of kin or forfeit the deposit.

From my professional experience I can use any and all legal means available to re-profile and present you as the next of kin to my deceased client since you share his surname, this would enable you put a claim to the funds on our behalf.

Please kindly indicate your interest by responding to this email so we can discuss further.

Yours sincerely,
Barr. Michael Kent

I glanced at the scuffed bag by the door, I had known Mr Kent would contact me eventually. I was the last person in the country with the surname Dankworth. As my eyes read over the email again, I laughed to myself, this had been easier than I initially thought.

Neelix stalked past the black bag, rubbing up against it, he then stopped and pulled out his claws, pulling at the plastic material.

I stood up fast in an attempt to scare him, knocking my coffee over my laptop in the process. I swore and grabbed at some tissues, watching as the black liquid slowly absorbed. I would forever be cleaning up my own mess.

My Entry:

Time had passed.

I now stood on my balcony overlooking the Ocean. The sun would be setting in an hour. Neelix knew this because of the ritual of our days. The cat slept until dark, and would then venture outside with the other cats along this strip of beachside bungalows.

How much longer would I be living here? God only knew.

My hopes now invested in a lawyer by the name of Michael Kent. I’d actually met him once before although he might not remember.

You see my surname Dankworth landed me a job on this island. No easy task for someone that arrived here from Florida in desperation, and ended up homeless in the Caribbean, living on a beach in Bruvna selling weed.

“How much is that dank worth?” Those were the first words that Ian had spoken to me when we met.

“Dankworth, that’s my last name,” I’d answered.

And we both shared the last name, Dankworth. Not too many people in the world with that surname. It became an instant bond between the two of us. We couldn’t find a common relation with our memories. Only we became brothers on that day, and smoked some joints.

It didn’t take long to find out that Ian Dankworth lived a luxurious lifestyle. From the Email, it said he had $37,000,000 Bruvna. At twenty-five cents to the US dollar that still amounted to almost $10,000,000 USD, and from my understanding that amount of money only included cash in a bank account.

His property on the island must be worth that and more with a 20,000 square foot beach house in a great location with state of the art technology, and first class furniture; the Ferrari, Lamborghini, and convertible Maserati in the garage on a revolving table; the vintage wine cellar. And the yacht parked at the pier on the private beach.

Yes, the state of Bruvna had no reason to complain with such an estate. What pain could a little cash in the possession of an American friend to the late great Ian Dankworth cause, with no next of kin after all?

I smoked a joint thinking of this man, reflecting on why he had been alone with no family. To be honest with my thoughts, I had to see the similarities between the two of us that had created a brotherly bond.

My excuse had always been that I didn’t have the money to marry the woman, and provide for children.

Ian Dankworth had the money, and still no family.

At that moment, as the sun moved toward the horizon to paint another glorious sunset, I felt resolved that if the gift of money should bless me then I’d use it to start a family.

And that’s the devisal of Mr. Dankworth . . .

Thank you,
Cyrus Emerson

Also, available from the Author:
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Fear and Loathing in the State of Jefferson - ebook
https://read.amazon.com/kp/embed?asin=B079R5KLPN&preview=newtab&linkCode=kpe&ref_=cm_sw_r_kb_dp_GsURAbAVDYNEM

Lost Angel – Introduction with Ray Manzarek of The Doors
https://www.downpour.com/lost-angel?sp=249812

Red Roses - audiobook
https://www.audible.com/pd/Fiction/Red-Roses-Audiobook/B07F2LWHPN

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ahhhhh Cye this is amazing <3

It is all really good, but this one line just steals the show

“How much is that dank worth?”

You have picked up on the first half incredibly well, you avoid the scam route, but address it by having a personal connection between the two dankworth's, and the location you've chosen completely explaining everything in the email and our dankworth's reaction to it.

You create a bond between them and i love that, you have given this such a different spin, sat there smoking a joint, contemplating the passing of a man he'd grown to be friends with, and the life that man, despite his money, had lived. Realizing the things he never knew about Ian, and the things that had drawn them together.

How you end this, the protagonist not being focused on the money itself, being rich, anything like that, but instead on what it means to him, being able to start a family. And that final line, just perfect, works on every level of meaning of devisal. You always deliver and this is fantastic <3

Thanks @calluna. Always enjoy your feedback. Have you considered contacting Edward at The Wishing Shelf Book Awards to be a reader and reviewer for that contest? It could help @bananafish later to have more institutional support.



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I really enjoyed that you took a different tack from the expected with your ending! The elements pulled from Gaby-Crb's and Calluna's part are used to great advantage here as you expound on the relationship between the two Dankworths as they bond over a joint and a shared name. Not only was the introduction between Ian and the protagonist clever in establishing more about each party, their interaction felt natural.

We're given more insight to the second Dankworth as he justifies to himself that, in consideration of the myriad of Ian's other assets, he'll not really be taking much from the estate. Just enough to set out for a goal he's been putting off, a family. Maybe, should this Dankworth receive the money in the end, somewhere his 'brother' will be smiling.

~Bris

Two Dankworths = Great Story

I like the mood...maybe it has something to do with the weed :) You create an atmosphere. The part about the cat really fixes the scene, places us there with Dankworth. Everything is so laid back, real.
Good story, pleasant read. I actually find myself wishing this guy good luck.

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