Neelix - Week #51 of Finish the Story

in #finishthestory5 years ago

The Devisal of Mr. Dankworth

Prompt by @gaby-crb and @calluna

The familiar ping jerked through my morning haze, the signal of a new email arriving in my inbox, blared from my laptop. I hastily tapped at the volume. My fingers circled around the warm mug in my hand, the hot brush of steam warning me not to take a sip yet. I checked the screen, 16 new emails already this morning. Working from home had seemed so much easier, I never liked the office, or being out on the road, at least at home I had my own brand of coffee, and my cat Neelix, but the emails never stopped.

I cleared through the top 10 as spam, another 5 were easily filed, the last however caught my attention. My eyes focused on the sender name, I hastily placed my mug on the table and clicked the email. The sound of the news playing on the TV melted into the background, even the smell of my burning toast didn't interrupt my focus.

Good day,

My name is Michael Kent, I am the personal attorney and sole executor to my late client, Mr Ian Dankworth, who shares the same surname with you.

After the death of my client, in an automobile incident, in the year 2007, the bank contacted me to provide his next of kin to inherit his fortune, totaling Thirty Seven Million Bruvna ($37,000,000.00) according to the existing bank records.

I have written several letters to his country embassy with the intent of locating any of his immediate or extended family who will stand as the next of kin and all my efforts has been to no avail.

I have received official letters from the board of directors of the holding bank in the last few weeks suggesting a likely precedent for confiscation of his abandoned personal assets in line with existing laws, therefore I have been issued a 30 working days ultimatum to provide his next of kin or forfeit the deposit.

From my professional experience I can use any and all legal means available to re-profile and present you as the next of kin to my deceased client since you share his surname, this would enable you put a claim to the funds on our behalf.

Please kindly indicate your interest by responding to this email so we can discuss further.

Yours sincerely,
Barr. Michael Kent

I glanced at the scuffed bag by the door, I had known Mr Kent would contact me eventually. I was the last person in the country with the surname Dankworth. As my eyes read over the email again, I laughed to myself, this had been easier than I initially thought.

Neelix stalked past the black bag, rubbing up against it, he then stopped and pulled out his claws, pulling at the plastic material.

I stood up fast in an attempt to scare him, knocking my coffee over my laptop in the process. I swore and grabbed at some tissues, watching as the black liquid slowly absorbed. I would forever be cleaning up my own mess.

Source

Neelix

Ending by @darthgexe

What until now had been the perfect morning suddenly turned into chaos, the documents that were inside the black bag now lay scattered throughout the room, but the most important thing was to repair my laptop, so I looked for my tools and set out to disarm it. While keeping me busy, Neelix took advantage to play with the remains of the bag disordering, even more, the place.

It took me all morning to repair the disaster, fortunately, the coffee could not damage the laptop and I only had to dry its interior with the hair dryer that I bought recently for Neelix, a new double reinforced black bag rested on the sofa, away from the claws of my beloved cat.

At first, I thought of answering Mr. Kent as soon as possible, but thanks to the time I had to think while I was tidying up the place, I decided it was best to wait a couple of days or a second e-mail, so I would raise less suspicion.

The ding dong infiltrated my ear taking me out of my absorbed state, it was the first time someone had knocked on the door since I left the office. I had this feeling that something was wrong. Why are they knocking on the door right now? I stealthily approached the entrance and looked out, it was the police.

"Good afternoon Mr. Danworth we'd like to have a moment with you, we won't take up much of your time."

It was the case of my distant cousin Sofia, the police had the suspicion that her death was not really a suicide and now they were handling the murder hypothesis.

Sofia never married, lived alone with her cat to whom she devoted all the free time her church work allowed her, she was a soul of God, she did not deserve to die, she did not even have the surname Danworth.

The interview was short and concise, I was informed about the details of the investigation, at least those I was allowed to know.

"See you later, Mr. Danworth, we won't interrupt you any longer" they rose from their seats.

The officers were leaving but Neelix stood in their way, my feline companion played with some kind of paper in front of the door.

"You have a nice pet... But, this woman...?"

The officer lifted the photo that the cat was scratching. and that a few hours ago was inside the damned bag, in the photo a smiling Sofia had Neelix in her lap. I would forever be cleaning up my own mess.

The End.


This is a participation for the Finish The Story - Week #51 from @bananafish. I hope you like it there, do not hesitate to comment.

Sort:  

Novum kalium pirata.png

Congratulations, you've been selected to receive a 100% potassium enriched upvote from the @bananafish!

We are a safe harbor for every writer and poet. Freedom, solidarity, quality, inclusion: these are our values. Keep an eye on our weekly contests and grow with us in a friendly environment!

Join us! Here's your key to access the Bananafish Realms.

Thank you, bananafish.

Congratulations @darthgexe! You have completed the following achievement on the Steem blockchain and have been rewarded with new badge(s) :

You published more than 200 posts. Your next target is to reach 250 posts.

You can view your badges on your Steem Board and compare to others on the Steem Ranking
If you no longer want to receive notifications, reply to this comment with the word STOP

To support your work, I also upvoted your post!

Do not miss the last post from @steemitboard:

The Steem blockchain survived its first virus plague!
Vote for @Steemitboard as a witness to get one more award and increased upvotes!

Hi, @darthgexe!

You just got a 2.31% upvote from SteemPlus!
To get higher upvotes, earn more SteemPlus Points (SPP). On your Steemit wallet, check your SPP balance and click on "How to earn SPP?" to find out all the ways to earn.
If you're not using SteemPlus yet, please check our last posts in here to see the many ways in which SteemPlus can improve your Steem experience on Steemit and Busy.

Hi darthgexe,

This post has been upvoted by the Curie community curation project and associated vote trail as exceptional content (human curated and reviewed). Have a great day :)

Visit curiesteem.com or join the Curie Discord community to learn more.

It's an honor to have your support. Thank you very much.

Neelix is a superb hero!

❤️☕️❤️damnit Neelix

Posted using Partiko iOS

Ohhh you turned him into a criminal who kidnapped (catnapped?) Neelix. That cat in the picture looks like the name belongs to him.
I really like this ending, it's well thought out and you added an element of fear with the police officers.

Thank you Gaby, good thing you liked my ending, I tried not to overlook any element of the prompt.

And what can I tell you about the police, it'll always be an element of fear... maybe.

You amp up the suspense so very well, picking it up in the moment and carrying the details from the first half into this fantastic ending.

I love the focus you bring to Neelix, weaving him into the story ready for that pivotal final moment when his full relevance is revealed. You make him into a character of his own which made me so happy to see. The way you mention the cousin, and her not deserving to die not only adds to the suspense, but gives an emotional depth to the character. Then the remark about her not even having the name, a really nice subtle yet sinister line, carrying so much story-shaping implication - skilfully done!

I think what I love most here is you don't actually state it, this is written so our protagonist could have plotted this all - having taken the cat home out of long standing affection/pity after murdering Sofia, or he could have packed up her things after she died, having legitimately inherited Neelix and the remark about her surname being more of a lament of being the last one to carry the family name. You tell enough for the story to carry, whilst also leaving the same amount of uncertainty the police are there to investigate. Your final line really makes this one, tying it back to the first half so perfectly!

Another very enjoyable ending <3

It's hard to get all those things you mention and that's what I've been trying to do.

The most important part of the story is not the part that you can read, but the part that I'm not talking about and I have to give you all the necessary details so that you can deduce it clearly and without errors.

The fact that you comment on it means that in a certain way I have achieved it and I feel very happy about it, thank you.

Instead of one letting the cat out of the bag, here we get the playful feline putting forth the reveal! Writing the story with Neelix playing an integral part was an inspired touch. Well done, Darthgexe, with tying the details in from the beginning as you built suspense.

so I would raise less suspicion.

The purpose of that thought comes to light with your addition of the cousin Sophia and the investigation into her death. Suddenly, the stakes are raised and we realize why the protagonist was concerned with the timing of an email response. Each element, from the scattered documents, the reinforcing of the 'damned' bag, the knowledge of Sophia's differing surname and it's relevance, and the final photo reveal was terrifically timed. Your final line, following the culmination of several messes and harking back to the beginning was a great touch.

Congratulations on your vote from the Curie community for your story!

~Bris

I just reread this. First time around was late at night and the cleverness of it got past me. This time I realized why. You've placed the reader in the position of the police. We are unsuspecting. We find the narrator credible, above suspicion. And then, at the last moment, the gig is up. The most incidental of clues, a cat and photo, are your undoing.
Best part is, the cat, beloved pet, reveals the identity of her owner's murderer.
This is just perfectly crafted. And I missed it on first reading. Ah, well, such experiences serve to make us humble, which is always a good thing :)

Coin Marketplace

STEEM 0.31
TRX 0.12
JST 0.034
BTC 64742.01
ETH 3172.49
USDT 1.00
SBD 4.10