The Town That Changed - Finish The Story Week #24 Entry

in #finishthestory6 years ago (edited)

This is my entry for this week's Finish The Story Contest created by @f3nix! This fun contest provides writers with a partial story and then asks them to finish it. This week's opening half was written by @Calluna.

Opening by @calluna


The Town That Changed

Change blew in on the air that morning, whispering through a sleeping town. An eerie quiet rested along the main road, early commuters not yet disturbing the grey dawn. A wisp of waning moon, brushed pink with the gentle glow of the coming sun, hung low in the ombre sky.

A subtle shift rocked the heavy foliage of scattered trees, rippling between the houses. The cool silence of night still clung to the shadows. A lone ginger cat stalked between the sentinels of bins guarding the curbs. It paused, hair bristling along it’s back as it sensed a disturbance rushing past.

A lone mournful howl echoed in the streets, erupting into a sorrowful symphony as others took up the canine call.

Not a single harsh bark interrupted the lament that awoke the town that morning.

Back doors opened onto gardens, not quite the same. Concerned residents in an array of dressing gowns, coats and slippers, padded outside to find the same, inexplicable sight.

Theo hadn’t been home in months. He had told his mum he was getting clean. It was a lie. He hadn’t been clean in years.

The dark country road snaked before him, a twisting river of retreating night. She had insisted he came home for the wedding. Theo couldn’t stand her boyfriend, but his mum had half chewed his ear off over it, and he couldn’t deny, he owed her this.

He swore under his breath. The rising itch was dancing across his skin. The hard edge cutting inside him. He needed another hit. He had been driving since 1am, he loaded up before he set off, but the ragged scraping of the comedown was consuming.

He glanced at the road, he hadn’t passed another car in hours, and he knew these twisting roads.

One hand on the wheel, he fumbled through the bag on the passenger seat. He couldn’t face that c*nt sober, Aunt Hazel would help.

His skin flushed with the intense bliss coursing through his veins as he approached the sleeping streets.

Dawn was pushing towards the horizon, her soft pink glow catching the clipped moon.

Theo was speeding when he got to the town. He heard the hair-raising call of neighbourhood dogs, raising their cry as one.

Then he saw it. The change. He couldn’t look away. He didn’t see the tree.

The howling ceased and everything went dark.

* * *

Blood on the dashboard, dark and dripping, thick as jam. Red pain seething in his skull. A startled cry when he looked in the rearview miror and saw his face had been smashed flat, his features mashed to pulp. The distressing thought: this should hurt a lot worse than it does.

Theo reasoned that the heroin must have numbed him.

And remembered then the sight which had distracted him, and made him hit the tree.

An atmospheric anomaly shimmered across the road. Its borders seemed to distort the surrounding scenery, and a cold light stuttered from its heart, painting the entire village in writhing shadows.

A crowd of villagers, still dressed in their pajamas, had gathered around it. Theo felt drawn to it himself. As he exited the car, they glanced over. Cries of horror rang out, and they scattered as he drew near.

An image materialized at the heart of the anomaly: a woman in an elegant purple gown. But her face was monstrous, a misshapen plug of proud red pulp and ragged slits. Those slits flared open, and a cascade of glimmering ripples shot forth and washed over him. A feminine voice possessed his thoughts.

Greetings, Vartuk. You're just as handsome as your ikon!

Vartuk? he thought, and the lacerations in his face sent ripples racing back to her.

She nodded. Yes, Vartuk. You've only just discovered your true likeness. This is a transitory world, and you must shed your transitory self. I'm here to guide you to your Task. Please follow me.

Follow you? How?

She indicated the anomaly. Through this luminal gate.

When can I return?

As I said, this is a transitory world. The strife and sting of the mortal vale helps nascent Glimmerings solidify. Now that you've found your face, this world serves no further purpose.

Then what will become of it?

She shrugged. Typically, transitory worlds are extinguished. But you can preserve it if you like. It matters little, one way or the other.

Theo could feel his power burgeoning, his true potential overshadowing his human identity. Looking out over the villagers, he recognized the agony that defined them. He'd suffered it himself, and had sought solace in Aunt Hazel's arms.

He wondered then if he should extinguish the world, as a mercy to those who suffered.

But he couldn't bring himself to do it.

Your Task awaits, the woman called.

Theo let his sight rove one last time over the villagers, and recognized his mother. He also recognized her beau, and saw how he would abuse her. His wounds flared open and a fusilade of ripples slammed into the bastard.

Treat her well. Or I'll make you suffer endlessly. The bastard felt it in his marrow and fell whimpering to his knees.

And then, one final ripple, reaching out.

I love you, Mum. Forget me and be happy.

Vartuk turned away, and vanished through the gate, and was never glimpsed again by mortal eyes.

village.png
Image Source

Thanks for reading! :D And thanks to @f3nix for creating the contest, and @calluna for the great story opening, and the @bananafish collective for everything they do! <3

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Our world as a sort of chrysalis for a mysterious race.. clever, surreal and original: my favorite triad!

Thanks f3nix! The premise was intriguing and I had a lot of fun writing to it. And now I get to read the other entries and see the different directions everyone took! Good times! :D

Ooo I love a good phenonanomaly. Some fantastic descriptions in there and a great ponder on the burden of responsibility in letting him decide, for reality is only what it can be perceived as, and is a life spent suffering better than no life at all. who can decide that for another. Beautifully deep <3

I like to think his mum was ok, that her boyfriend spent the rest of his life living in fear of upsetting her, and prompting the return of her otherworldly son!

Many thanks calluna! :D I agree completely about the burden of making a choice like that for another. I can imagine a decision like that making even a godly being uneasy!

As for his mum, the way I choose to imagine it is that her boyfriend does indeed spend the rest of his life trying to be a model husband. At first he does it just to keep from being annihilated, but as time goes by he comes to actually respect and even love her for her own sake, and he levels up into a somewhat better human being. Theo's final act and Vartuk's first miracle. :) Thanks for the great opening and letting everybody run with it!

How many times I dreamed about discovering to be someone else and be lifted up of this world! I think this is one of the most common child/adolescent power dreams 😉
Nice ending!

Thanks marcoriccadi! :D I’ve dreamt that myself more than a few times. But I wonder whether Vartuk is happy in his new life. Is every day a thrill and a challenge or does he find himself stuck in the celestial equivalent of a dead end job? Is there such a thing as divine ennui? 🤔

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This is such a subjective treatment of Theo's experience that it offers readers the opportunity to interpret. Theo is high. He has had a catastrophic head injury. How much of what he sees is due to these influences and how much is objectively true? (And what does that mean, anyway?). Vivid description holds our attention to the scene. Your writing is clear, and dynamic. Good job.

Thanks agmoore! :D I had some stuff in there originally about parallels between what he’s seeing and experiences he had in the past when tripping. I had to cut it though to get the story under 500 words. Maybe I should have cut something else. :) In any case, many thanks for reading and commenting!

I don't think the piece suffers from uncertainty. Some of my favorite writers leave the reader in doubt (ETA Hoffman, Kafka, Borges).

I appreciate the feedback! Kafka's one of my favorite writers as well. WIll have to check out Hoffman and Borges!

Welcome back! :D I’m stiked to check it out!

Thanks! This week there's bread for your teeth bud

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