Finish the Story Contest week #24 "The Town that Changed" Submission

in #finishthestory6 years ago (edited)

“CRASH! BOOM!”
Theo felt his warm blood coming from the top of his head before passing out.
Crackle crackle THUD!!…”
Theo awoke to see half of the tree lying on top of the car, hearing sirens in the distance.
“Help!” he moaned out “Help me, someone!”
“Theo?” a somber voice called out to him. “Theo, it’s time to go.”
Theo turned around to see the hooded figure he saw before the crash “Whack!” A wooden stick rapped onto his forehead, knocking him out again.
He awoke once more, smelling something pungent directly in his nostril. He couldn’t recognize this smell. It wasn’t ammonia, no; he was used to that by now. This was something new.
“Hello Theo.” the voice calmly said to him. “Welcome to your new home.”
“Where the fuck am I? Who are you?” Theo asked while starting to feel a painful tingling in his fingers.
“You’re here. I’m me. That’s all you need to know for now.”
The tingling moved from Theo’s fingers through his entire body. “What is happening to me?” he asked as the tingling became more euphoric than painful.
The dark room they were in quickly, almost magically, transformed Theo back to his car, crushed by the tree. “Do you see that, Theo? There you are.”
“Is that me? Am I dead?” He saw his body being pulled from the car. “That can’t be me! I’m right here! I feel so alive! I feel more alive than I have my entire life!” Theo said, almost suffering from the pure pleasure he was in. “HELLO!!!” he shouted towards the group of people around the car. “I’M FINE! I’M RIGHT OVER HERE! HELLO!?”
“You may think you’re ok, Theo. But that’s the kind of bullshit that put you in this position. You’re selfish. You’re only caring about yourself. Look over there Theo. Look at who you hurt.”
Theo looked away from the car and towards the Police cars and Ambulance. He saw his mother look towards the gurney. She dropped to her knees and broke down in tears. “MY SON! MY BABY BOY! PLEASE GOD NO! DON’T TAKE HIM AWAY FROM ME!” she screamed. “BRING MY BABY BACK TO ME! DON’T DO THIS TO ME!”
“Do you see what you’ve done now, Theo?” the voice asked. “You’ve done nothing to deserve this woman in your life. No matter what you did, she always loved you. And now you make her suffer. Does this please you?”
The euphoria came back to Theo. More powerful than even the purest Heroin he ever had. He had no remorse for seeing his mother.
“I understand, Theo. If you want your mother to continue to suffer, than so shall you.”
The euphoria passed. The ground below Theo began to break apart and Theo fell. But this was no sinkhole. There was no dirt around him. Theo continued to fall, the sun disappearing from sight. All he heard were the cries from his mother. Slowly falling into the abyss forever.
The End.

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hey @bananafish did I miss out on something to make my post unworthy of a resteem? I'm still trying to figure everything out on steemit, any notes on my writing would be really appreciated :)

Voted, resteemed and soon back with the review 👍

A great debut in the Finish the Story contest! You chose a bitter end, but exemplary. :)

Thank you :)

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We have very similar storyline! It is a wonder when people have the same idea.

You had such a great imagery on the death

Bitter but authentic.. It matches very well with how drugs leave you like an empty, unempathic shell. Good first entry!

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