A Finishthestory Short Story: The Extraordinary Café
The Extraordinary Café
-Pixabay.com
The warm smell of fresh brownies drifted across the cafe, ducking under the tables, squeezing through chairs, urged on by the fans; it flew. A gooey batch, chocolate chips still soft, had appeared on the counter. So loudly rang the placing of the tray, that Matt’s eyes glanced over, his mouth already watering, and so the enticing aroma managed to make him half consider ordering two.
Over Matt’s head, a clock's hand ticked a steady background beat, drawing his attention. For all wandering eyes, it was ten to two; she was twenty minutes late. A huff of impatience escaped his cracked lips, his mind drifting back to the crowded room.
An elderly man sat slouched at the table across from him, his broadsheet newspaper out of place in a room full of faces glazed by the light of phone screens. Matt‘s hand instinctively touched his own in his pocket. If he got it out, his eyes would be glued hard to it, in case the light flashed. His mind knew it would vibrate, but the flash came first. It was an addiction he couldn’t fight. Not to the phone. To her.
His mind buzzed and beeped, unable to fight the itch of wonder…
”...where was she?”
The old man‘s mouth let go of a cough, accompanying the symphony of crinkling as he flipped a page. Matt’s eyes darted up, accidentally catching his gaze, the man smiled at him eagerly folding the paper away.
Matt’s mind shuddered, cursing itself as the man rose, heading towards him. As soon as the stranger came within ear shot, Matt called out trying to put him off.
“Sorry mate, i’m waiting for someone.”
The grin over the worn face widened.
“Someone who still ain’t here yet, ‘ow about a bit of company, to help with the waiting? Whatcha say?”
Put on the spot, Matt’s thoughts already ablaze, he found himself nodding before reason could interject. The flame in his mind was inundated with worries and the urge to call her now - to see where oh where she was. Matt didn’t have the patience for small talk, but it was too late; the elderly man was lowering himself into the chair opposite.
The chair eeking with the slow applying pressure of aching joints, a wry smile found itself on the old man’s lips. In the opposite side of tension: a forced smile began forming on Matt’s dry lips, his hand quivering but extending for an introduction.
"I am Kamil Briere. I could use some company, a few words is all. At my age few words is all I can do." Again the wry smile sought to calm Matt.
Matt shook the gnarled hand, feeling the wrinkles and the dry skin but a fine grip still. "Of Course!" He heard himself say. "I'm Matt."
The old man raised his hand and caught the server's eye. "Two Brownies please."
"But.." He cut off Matt's protest. "Son, they are really good and I want to share the joy."
"I know." Matt whispered to himself. Then shaking his head as if to wake up fully he said to the old man. "I should leave.."
Kamil slapped his arm lightly with fingers like dried roots. "Hey relax. I will go away if you want. But have the brownie. See; it is on it's way already. Then he placed his palms on the table, elbows pointing out- gearing to get up. "No. That's fine. I just remembered something that..Never mind." Consciously he set aside his yearning and tried to stay calm. "That is well." Kamil relaxed back in to the chair. Matt stayed silent watching him carefully sit and before the silence could stretch the brownies arrived.
Matt did not hear Kamil's "Aah". His mind had locked on to the delicious looking moist and warm squares; the enticing aroma of melting chocolate and baked cocoa triggering his emotions into turmoil. With a fierce will he managed to keep his hand steady as he cut into a corner of the brownie with the plastic spoon. The brownie parted revealing the melted choco-chips which separated into rich strands as Matt lifted the spoon. "This chocolate is melting my heart."
Matt froze. "What did you say?" He glared at Kamil. "That is Lisha's line you said - Who are you?" He growled through clenched teeth; the brownies momentarily forgotten.
"I am Kamil Briere, Lisha's uncle- the one overseas." Kamil replied meeting Matt's glare steadily. Matt did not reply but sat as he was, the only difference being that his eyes were beginning to fill up with tears of grief. Kamil continued in a gentle voice. "It has been four months Matt. Your mother called me. You are breaking Lisha's heart by clinging to her death and not respecting her life. Matt she would hate to see you like this."
Matt sighed wiping the tears that leaked out. "We came here every Saturday, same time, around One- thirty. She loved these brownies. Lisha was..."
"And Lisha would like it if you remembered her fondly." Kamil interrupted his thoughts. "But you need to let go Matt. Say your goodbyes and treasure the happy memories."
"But.... I can't. I want her to walk in Now. With her lopsided smile and.."
"Stop It! You are not a ten year old and she was not your favorite toy. Moping and wallowing in emotions will destroy your happiness and her happy memories. Act grown up and cherish those moments. Whatever you do Matt don't you dare blame Lisha for dying. No one wants to die." Kamil threw a couple of notes on the table and stalked out on arthritic legs.
For a few moments Matt sat there looking blankly. Then the aroma of the brownies brought him back, he was still holding the first spoonful of the dense chocolaty concoction. He ate the first spoonful and the next and quickly finished the whole brownie. Then he whispered a goodbye- to Lisha and his old self. "This will always be Lisha's brownie, my own way out of trouble.
The Contest: https://steemit.com/finishthestory/@bananafish/finish-the-story-contest-week-48
This is a really sad story. Wow. It's not just sad though, very lovely. True love like this is what everyone wants. I'm glad he decided to move on at the end. Staying in the past isn't healthy.
I had to stop and get a brownie to eat while i read it, damn you should be in advertising!! Very much appreciate how you picked up the brownies in the second half and wove them in as the background to the story.
But oh my word, sarez you always manage to come up all kind of wonderful action takes, but here, you keep the focus on the characters, and tell a heart-wrenching story of the struggle to let go that packs just as much of a punch. Your descriptions are so delightful, you paint such a vivid scene captivating the senses as well as the imagination, but the way you play the story, the first half being a ritual he goes through, unable to break the routine of waiting for her, like he always did. You convey so much in the subtle details, Kamil identifying himself as the overseas uncle carrying the weight of a long relationship, where that much would be all the information it would take. The way Kamil talks to him, calling him out on blaming her for dying. The anger of shared grief comes across, different people addressing the same loss, a real and relatable feeling set of emotions on both sides. You handle a emotional confrontation with such delicacy, bringing Matt (and the reader with him) through a whole spectrum of emotion, to finally settle on acceptance.
I particularly like the ending, the sadness of a happy memory able to take a step towards full circle, allowing the happy memory to live as that once more.
Thanks @calluna for the wonderful comment. Your support is very encouraging. I am glad to engage you via the story.
Good emotional story. You packed a lot into that ending. I feel for the guy who can't get over his lost love. I'm glad the Uncle intervened with some sound advice. You ended it with the hope that he is now able to move on, he just needed his eyes opened. And I'm sure that tasty brownie helped!
I think- like myself- you liked @theironfelix brownies more than anything else. He makes me want them so much.
Thank You.
Yes, he did a little too good of a job describing how they smelled - nothing smells better than fresh baked brownies!
Hi sarez,
Visit curiesteem.com or join the Curie Discord community to learn more.
THANK YOU for your support.
(Well I need to do this with every @curie (congrats on it by the way) upvoted post that @calluna helped write the prompt as well. There was a reason she was on the contest post page, not a little side gag. No worries though~)
La filosofía del texto (The philosophy of the text): For the first time I actually had to stop typing, for I just kept on reading and reading. I will discuss the form below, but I needed to mention that first (not that I hadn't before with previous stories, wanted to mention that). So we first start out in the essence of the elevator speech but what if that was in a café where brownies where sold, these approaches are cheap but yah ain't a writer if yah can't turn cheap stuff to gold later on. For we then get the real purpose, marked by the obscenity of Kamil's words frased (phrased) from Lisha's one-liners, as we then transition to the overarching filosofía del texto. This overarching aspect is the intervention story played in the form of making the broken character take the first steps in overcoming the relationship (and a whole slew of small points I shall get into). Now I (and @calluna) and you conveniently left the whole scene of death and invoked it (which of course is repainting the intro as to make the ending sensible), which forces Matt to come into contact of it instead of treating it as something so alien that it cannot be understood - like most broken hearts when they see their lovers die. For which we get into the other filosofías which aid the overarching one: from the destruction of trophy-ing the wife (a dangerous misogynistic thing to do, makes non-males inhuman), forcing him to end the blame game on the victim (which is a sad thing for all peoples, just victim blaming in-and-for-itself is a dangerous thing that makes cases hard to be overcame) and the recovery / social help.
La forma (The form): Now let's get into why it basically dragged me around like I was fish on a bait that was being reeled back. If that didn't explain shit, lemme frase (phrase) it this way: the course of the switching-up between dialogue and narration along with all the small details sprinkled in felt like we were living a cinema-esque scene in a greater movie. A heart-felt moment where both tact, core mission and intention are strung together in a tight borromean knot which forces Matt to go through untieing as to untie his own borromean knot with Lisha as the sintome/centerspace of the borromean knot. Which will destroy Matt, but equally create a new Matt in the protraction of unraveling the horrid structure that was Matt and creating a new Matt. And the form of the story carried on from the point of now the old Man contesting with Matt really helps solidify what was going on. Definitely a first step, but now will the intervening Kamil take further steps as to help integrate Matt back into the social folds of the community while Matt does his part as to relearn the social ropes as to fully recover? We haven't a definite clue, but the field of interest, like a graph in a restricted zone, tells us that he has antiquated the conversation and is willing to take the steps laid out. How he goes afterwards, a pure speculation to the Haze of data versus extrapolation, to genie up versus following through. Yet, isn't that half the magic of a story where it's more than what is excluded, but the gaps we can feel despite implication and explication, the stories we think or are implied and the explicated facts which our mind will have fun with.
Thank You So Much @theironfelix for your support And the superb brownies.
Welcome for the comment and support and them brownies! (Give thanks to @calluna, had to ask her to make some and she's been baking them away!~)
Thanks again for sharing the story!
This entry passed from being a brownie-centric piece to revealing a moving story of an unsolved trauma. You displayed an admirable technique in describing the character of Kamil. Not only, the reactions and the dialogues were so detailed and convincing. Intense.
Thank You for your support
Always, my friend.
An unexpected ending...great concept. You bring resolution to Max. You explain to the reader the dilemma in the first half...why is she late? Also, why is he so obsessed? It seems pathological, almost, like a neurosis, but you explain it as grief, an abiding natural grief, which he has clung to.
It's nice to leave the story with a sense of Matt's newly-discovered freedom.
Your comment means much. Thanks. You really intuited the heart of the story.
:)
I enjoyed your ending very much. It makes perfect sense now, why Matt was so obsessed in the beginning. You did a great job of bringing him back to reality through the uncle. I like how you carried on the brownie theme and made it a central part of the story. @theironfelix did such a good job of making that brownie come alive! It was nice at the end that Matt seems to be able to move on now. Both characters are believable and real.
Thank you @sevendust04 for all your appreciation. Glad you liked the brownies.