Pointy Eyes Shine In The Dark (Finish the Story #52 Entry)

in #finishthestory5 years ago

Pointy Eyes Shine In The Dark

by @f3nix

Auntie Masha‘ n the God’s Mistakes / every day on FRINGE -FM! / We will lure them, interview them / fun and tortures never end! "

The radio anchor's words glide over the frantic notes of the jingle like an old rusted Cessna.

"We're still here! I know, my lobotomized listeners, you too are amazed that your beloved auntie is still broadcasting on the frequencies of... "

"Stop with the preambles, old wino!" The voices of the three God's Mistakes recall a misplaced cross between Smeagol and the Chipmunks. In the studio, plastered with purple sound-proofing cones, the three animated puppets stare at Masha with lusty and murderous eyes. In a quick flash, the radio host instinctively thinks about the many crossroads of her life.

"Let's all welcome the most annoying and useless voices in the whole history of radio broadcasting from Edison to nowadays. Don't interrupt me, at least not at the beginning of the program, damn puppets..."

"...Cursed the stoned producer who wanted you," the host adds a quick note in her mind.

"Hey granny, we are co-hosts, not voices.” The felt creatures stand assertively.

"As we said, my bizarre radio listeners, here we are at our usual appointment with Masha's spicey interviews. Today we have an exceptional guest who certainly does not need introductions: directly from Berlin, Kurt Kükenvernichter, the one who returned metal music to the wide public. You know, Kurt, that auntie won't allow you to exit this studio without you having confessed at least some sordid and succulent secret.” The presenter begins to press. "For starters, we want to know how you managed to convert post-millennials around the world to your music."

Meanwhile, it seems that Kurt has decided to ignore the presentation. The round sound of his flask's stopper popping is not even captured by the microphone that already the singer has gulped down a sip of grog, dark and thick like tar. He slowly approaches the loudspeaker and greets his fans - especially the female ones - with a bronze baritone voice.

"Anyway, I never converted anyone. In these shitty times, I saw an empty throne and sat there."

"Aha. Sure. On thrones, photos of you collapsed on a toilet have been leaked from the net in the last few days. It is said to have been an exclusive party in Miami. Not exactly an image in line with the Kurt we all know. Do you want to deny or give us some clarification?” If radio frequencies could take shape, listeners would now see a scythe.

"They are all ... I was saying ... hhhhh ... it's all a pathetic charade!" The shrill voice of a clown who sniffed early-morning helium extrudes from the singer's throat as from an occluded sphincter.

"What the fuck was that?" Auntie Masha leaps in shock from the chair. The God’s Mistake for once are silent, overwhelmed by a more absurd voice than theirs and looking at each other with lost pointy eyes.

Time is strange on radio and silence represents an abomination against nature. Five interminable seconds pass before the host manages to recover and decides to send the advertisement break. Kurt has already thrown himself out of the studio, making shrill desperate blows. In fading out, a coarse puppet's laugh resounds.

In the loft, the thick curtains are still those of the old printing works. The late rays of the sun filter through the large dirty windows together with the sounds of the offices being emptied. A man wrapped in black leather and studs is spread on a padded velvet chaise long while, at the end of the room, another figure sits composed giving him his back.

"You see, Doctor, my voice is everything, why did it start to betray me? I can't understand what's happening to me. I feel violated by a dark and perverse part of myself. Under this thick layer of metal, there is a sensitive heart and I don't think I can stand this anymore."

As he confesses, Kurt hears a little music coming from behind the back of the chair. It looks like something already heard.

"Doctor?"

"Isn't this riff I just invented beautiful?" Asks the therapist to the air with a gloating triumph note in his voice. Kurt pokes his head out and sees him fiddling with a tiny electric ukulele.

"Actually I think it's Smoke On The Water, Doc."

The chair snaps in a flash of lightning.

"Kurt, I have the solution but it won't be easy and requires your blind trust in me." Dr. Machete smiles as a strange light moves through his eyes. Struck by dusty beams of light, he looks like a sly Cheshire Cat.

MY ENDING

word of warning! word count overflow [1004], this is my first entry ever, so i hope to get away with it :)

“Doc, you know you have my trust, you’ve helped me from the beginning.”

“And I am going to help you now Kurt” he said with a grin. “I’m going to ask a few questions, and I expect you’ll reply honestly.”

“Ask away!”

“When did you start having problems with your voice?”

“Doc, you know I hated my voice my entire life, but I managed to fix things four years ago, right before I signed the contract with my record company. Since then I never had any trouble, it was smooth sailing until a couple of days ago. Surely you heard about my Birthday Party in Miami?”

“Yes I have, but considering the state you were in, I doubt you remember much, so I won’t press you on that right now. I’m more interested in something else though, you said you managed to fix things… could you elaborate?”

“Why are you even asking me this? You put me in contact with that Producer, right after we met outside that Adelwolf concert, where I told you how much I envy the lead singer, that I’d kill for that kind of fame. We were drunk, but surely you remember? I do. It changed my life.”

“Yes, an important crossroad. How did the meeting with the Producer go?”

“Oh, he arranged an audition, where I failed miserably… but everyone was real kind and helpful, they pointed me in the right direction, an old Polish woman in Spreewald who specializes in cases like me. I headed there as soon as I could. I thought we would be doing voice therapy but she was a different kind of specialist. She lived alone in the woods in a small log cabin for Christ’s sake. Her name was Marzena Dzudzinski I guess. She had large saggy breasts like bagpipes.”

“If not by voice training, then how did she help you fix your voice?”

“Rituals. Just some magic rituals, and chanting.”

“Interesting. Let us delve deeper! What did these rituals entail?

“Doc, I don’t want to, it was the kind of stuff nightmares are made of. Please let it drop.”

“I’m afraid I can’t. You’ll have to face this, it’s important.

“She had me do things, I… I had to offer a sacrifice. Three actually, you know in mockery of the Holy Trinity. She told me I have to find victims of great musical talent, who are uncorrupted. I found the first when you advised me to start visiting Church again, that it could help me. He was there, a singer in the Choir, heavenly voice with a face to match. I thought to myself, such a voice is wasted on him.”

“Go on, I’m listening.”

“You want me to go into details? I sacrificed him, hoisted him up by the legs, cut his throat with a machete and drank his blood… The old woman wanted his heart for herself, so I cut it out. She gave me a flask of the guys blood. I was supposed to have a gulp once in a while if my voice started acting up. I still have the latest batch on me but it no longer works.”

“A most disturbing experience. What did she need the heart for?”

“She sewed it in a sort of a Voodoo Doll, I didn’t stay to watch. I was out of there Doc!”

“I can imagine… You said the ritual involved chanting. Can you recall?”

“I can, but it was in German, I don’t think you’d...”

“Oh I speak German, I’m so interested in hearing it! Would you please?” He smiled with boyish anticipation.

Herrliche Morgenstern,
Nimm meine ärmliche opfer,
Nimm dieses Herz und Sehle,
Höre meine bescheidene Bitte
Ich werde dich ewig dienen
Im tausch für Seine Stimme.

“Ha-ha-ha, that is just… I’m sorry... I have to ask, did it work? The ritual?”

“Yes the ritual was successful, by the last two lines the words came out in a most wonderful bronze baritone voice.”

“You said she demanded three sacrifices.”

“Yes, once every year, I had to repeat it, the last was nearly a year ago.”

“Enough of that. I think I know the rest. The next audition went splendid, you got your contract, and you had your dreams of fame and fortune fulfilled, just like you wanted.”

“Yes, it was everything I hoped for, what I don’t understand is what went wrong? Why did my voice betray me?”

“Oh, we’ll get to that right now! Do you remember your 27th birthday Party in Miami, or anything that happened since?”

“I just remember going to the toilet to iv a speedball.”

“And since?”

“Only the Radio show on Fringe-FM. Why?”

“There were days in between. Do you remember anything? For example, what did you have for breakfast, did you go to the radio in a cab, or how you came to my office for that matter?” His tone shifted to condescending sarcasm.

“Uh. Doc… I don’t… What in damnation is going… And just who the Hell are you anyway?” He sprang from the chaise like he was electrified.

“When we met I told you I helped people, I helped with their desires, the matters of their soul.”

“Your a therapist, just what I need.” Kurt muttered under his nose, remembering.

“That’s exactly what you said back then. A snide remark but I let it slide and played along. So I’ve been your therapist ever since. I’m just so glad you remembered the ritual prayer, it cracked me up, Herrliche Morgenstern… Ha-Ha-Ha” He pulled a flare gun from his desk and shot it at the thick curtains. The room was instantly ablaze, he grabbed his ukulele and started to play that beautiful riff he invented.

“I advise you get ready. You’re appearing on Fringe-FM, then we’ll have another session.”

“What, I already...”

“Shh, this is one of those… as in the beginning, so now, and forever and ever kind of things. A world without end indeed. And Her name was Masha Dzudzinski… not Marzena, though she used to be Michal.”

By soma.unony who does have a machete, and who could use a little help with his singing...

Sort:  

El Reacción (The Reaction): Okay first I should mention this, being double over the word limit is literally going to make any judge’s head explode. But the passion for committing one’s soul into writing this is very much noted and appreciated. Now before I react to the story proper I wanted to point to see if any Pole pointed out the Dudzinski, but it seems you had beaten me to the punch. Also your remark on the order and chaos: they are not mutually exclusive but mutually interdependent (dialectical doubles); just as dark as to light or heat to cold. I could go on a whole philosophy rant but chaos is the outcry of order when order cannot sustain itself on dysfunctions. Now to the story:

Well firstly as a Pole to another Pole, hopefully, the Polish-German (Tata had blood of Niemcy in him) words sprinkled in there seemed... authentic... c: I want more of that c: Anyways, as I shall explain in la filosofía (the philosophy) section: I do love my stories when it involves Holy Dæmonic (Unholy) actions, rituals, trickery and ~BLOOD!!!!~ (≧∇≦)Anywho, as I shall explain further in la forma (the form): I never was a fan of paragraphs of text with dialogues but it works here, which person was talking at any time made sense, magical realism thrown in there to twist at dream logic and mocks how far music professionals go to get their "voice" in the public.

La Filosofía (The Philosophy): Now as one Pole to another (I will be a broken record at times, don’t forgive me), I do love the bringing of Katolicki (Catholic) elements here. Just invigorates my memories of when mója mama i tata (my mom and dad) would talk and yap about Xtian shit and I just listen to the Good Word of Jesus (of Nazareth). Talks of flipping over tables of merchants and bankers, rich people having a harder time getting to heaven than a camel getting through the eye of the needle, ... wait a minute, I don’t need to tell you about Xtian shit - we’re Poles. But tak (yes), this is the overarching philosophy of the text that it works in a World where the myths of Catholicism are true to the T. Which informs of the two philosophies: Capitalistic ventures to fame (Kurt doing anything, including being a puppet indirectly) in the music industry and then ritual culture. (Which these two things in popular myths seemed to be very popular, let’s say I can see why but it’s all biz men looking at the trends and trying to maximize Capital - sorry Satan, drop your gig now :c) We see the playout of fame culture being the main backdrop of Kurt’s actions (we can say envy qua sin is in play here) for which a successful singer in terms of modern society requires stably exponential growth of the fanbase in order to maintain one’s contract and the record seller’s health. To which they, the record seller, turns both metaphoric and a literal blind eye to whatever the singer (or band) does to maintain their popular image - as long as they can cover it up. And we see Kurt struggle to keep his image from falling apart and people that can seek to be leeches in his soul (of which real-life translation: opportunitistic sons of a bee). Very nice to rehash that tale in a more literal and magically realistic sense. Excuse me for a moment, have to vampirically suck off this fat cat’s blood - very rich in iron.

La Forma (The Form): As I said in my reaction, the dialogue works and I can understand who’s who. But in case you need to differentiate when "they are talking now” to "they are talking now" to "they are talking now" for Cap’n Jones’s sake, use italics and bold+italics for second and third person in conversation - name-referencing works as well. Did I mention this is dialogue heavy? I love dialogue as I think it a safe escape from the rule of "Show, don’t tell" (of which I despise) and free to be formed to one’s heart. Of which I do love we are seeing a one-sided (revealed slowly and dialectically) dialogue here between Kurt and the trickster therapist. And such, this setting is a very Magical Realist setting and plottwists away from the dream logic of the beginning (the prompt) - and it’s done good!~ <3 Also Witches and Witch Doctors not being slain and actually doing something useful other than being EVIL!!!!! D^:< (I only remark because medieval tales using the female figure for "deceptive" or "conniving" or "satanic" acts, and you know the rest if you actually read your Brothers Grimm tales.) Anyways love that the satanic forces is paired with the music industry because the music industry really is propagandous and Capitalistic as shit, like singers have no real voice but a non-voice to capture a lot of people in the masses, exploit their cathartic energy and seeking to make Capital while pacifying them. Just a fun side comment to make, as I know that’s how mója Babcia (my Grandma) - who’s a devout farmer-prole katolicki (Catholic) by the way, just with more Satan thrown in there. But we all know we came to read my comments for my poems, not what my Grandma would say:

- Ole Lucy Boy! -


Lucy! Lucy! Lucy Boy!
I heard thou art now
in thy profane deals
now collectin’ souls

I heard many a deals,
see many a signatures,
feel many a souls now
and I see thy form!~

Tell me all the souls
that thou art taken
in thy devilish and
outlandish deals!~

Do tell, Lucy Boy!
Spill all the beans
and reveal the lil’
devils in the details!~

Thanks for the exhaustive analysis. It is helpful. And a nice little poem at the end too.

btw. I'm not Polish, I live south of Poland.

Welcome for the comment!!!! ~UwU~

Thanks for the compliments, I do try my best for analysis and poems for fts posts.

Hmm, that’s interesting. Rare I see Polish words from non-Poles.

Novum kalium pirata.png

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Thank you, much obliged.

Welcome to Finish The Story! And my this is a brilliant ending to come in on, I very much hope we get to see more from you!

You build on the first half so very well, taking the details and using them to tie the story together, this is just wonderfully done. The way the Doctor reacts to this strange story with such serious belief really adds to the suspense. The way that Kurt tells the immersive story of how he got here, I was so caught up in that, I didn't see the end coming at all. I guess eventually he had to pay up on the soul part of that deal! Particularly like the details of the sacrifice, and how lightly they come into to conversation, just some great bits of descriptions in there as well, the bagpipes line was a great one!

You have picked up on so much in the opening and addressed it, I am just very impressed by the close attention you have paid to the first half, and my word that really paid off because you deliver such a complete ending. You are admittedly very over the word count, but I myself often end up going over, passion outruns the counter. That said your skills of observation and penmanship (you write so well I could easily believe english was your first language) I can't wait to see you future entries. Generally people get away with up to 550, although we pretty much all go this far over now and then, so fairly certain it will be forgiven.

A great ending by any measure, especially for your first time in the contest, very happy to have you with us <3

Thank you very much... To tell the truth this is the third version, I've spent this entire weekend tackling it, the first half just had sooo many intricate details, i just couldn't figure out how to address most of it in under the word count. I dreamed about it even.

I did botch the Polish name, it should have been Dudzinski... meaning piper, as in someone playing bagipes. There are probably more mistakes in there too. That's what you get when humans try to make order out of chaos...

Anyway, Thanks again for your time reading it, and also for the encouraging comment.

What a terrific story you've given us as your first FTS entry! We hope to be able to read more from you. 😎

It was engaging with a great flow and you tied in so many important details. Building out from the beginning, you deepened the ties between Dr. Machete and Kurt, gave us the horror of exactly how he achieved his baritone as well as answered the mystery of why his voice was failing him.

She had large saggy breasts like bagpipes.”

This line cracked me up. Of course Kurt would remember something like that.

Though Masha's rituals scared him, to achieve his desires he was willing to do anything. Turns out that 'anything' came with one Hell of a price. Your reveal of his therapist being so much more than just so was perfectly placed, explaining the man's calm acceptance of Kurt's sacrifices and giving us a thoroughly great ending.

Welcome to the contest and congratulations to you for receiving a vote from the Curie community!

~Bris

Thank you for the comment, and also for the contest.

The Curie vote made me feel a bit like Kurt must have felt, instant success, though i swear i didn't do anything,or....
For one naive moment i thought the thousand + number meant actual readers, well.

I'll just have to work harder to get all the peoples balls, eyeballs that is, focused on my posts. For that is what I'm interested in, more than anything, for how am I to spread my misery when contained, I need to get airborne and soar :)

Excellent job of "finishing the story". You took the details from the beginning and made them work for you in the ending. I loved all the conversation, it made the story come alive. Pretty gruesome to find what Kurt had done in order to get and maintain his singing voice. And the ending was unexpected, always a good thing to twist the story at the end. Yes, it's pretty difficult to end one of these with 500 words. I always ending up writing and trimming, writing and trimming....

Thanks for reading, and for the comment.

In my younger days as a Dungeon Master, my top fear was that the players could deduce my "unexpected" plot twists ahead of time. That always was a kick in the guts. Glad It worked.

Wooaw.... Amazing entry from your end and I must say you were great with your part.
I really like how you took the story and how you finished the whole thing .
I enjoyed reading every word in your story and in fact you were amazing. Great work and keep the story spirit up always

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Thank you.

I just looked at the vote counter... and I said wooaw... Amazing folks around here.
So yes, i guess I'll keep the story spirit up, it seems to work.

I'm glad you liked it, and thanks for your comment, much appreciated.

Yea... There are great people around the blockchain and hard work pays. So you are humbly welcome

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I think that Finish the story is an Amazing way to increase the good way to make Engagement on Steem Blockchain.
Congratulations to you and your creativity!!!
Steem on!

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Hi soma.unony,

This post has been upvoted by the Curie community curation project and associated vote trail as exceptional content (human curated and reviewed). Have a great day :)

Visit curiesteem.com or join the Curie Discord community to learn more.

Thanks for the support.

That explains the vote count, it felt great waking up to that, i felt energized, i really did.
Now I'll need the next hit :)

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