Crime scene investigator not required

A crime was committed, nothing of a violent nature but a crime nonetheless. It was premeditated, planned and strategically executed with the precision and finesse that only a true professional could deliver. Each element, like the individual instruments in a symphony orchestra, came together to perform a flawless and expertly crafted operation, each piece combining with the next in a masterpiece of criminal activity.

Alas, the perpetrator has a conscience and feels the need to confess his crime, to admit to his evil ways and deny the lure of the dark side. Well, on this occasion anyway.

Ok, so the crime wasn't against humanity, society or the mega-rich operator of a Las Vegas casino in an Oceans 12-style cash and jewelry heist. No, it was a crime against oneself, one's health and future wellbeing, but a crime that was always going to happen. It was a crime that I committed against myself. Yes, I am indeed the perpetrator of this crime...No crime scene investigator required. I confess.

Last night my co-criminal, and partner in crime Faith, descended upon the inner-city shopping precinct that is Rundle Mall and executed our cunning plan to nab ourselves some chocolate from Koko Black, that most excellent of chocolate shops. Our plan went exactly as we had rehearsed it and in only a couple of minutes we ran from Koko Black to our getaway car, an Aston Martin Valkyrie, and sped away into the distance...Well, no not at all but we certainly ambled away with our stolen goods...Hmm, well no not exactly...We strolled away with our purchased chocolates eager to delve into that nondescript brown paper bag and taste the delights secured within.

The crime? Well, as I said earlier, it was a crime against my health as I'm diabetic and chocolates are not on my list of prescribed foods...In fact, you may be surprised to hear, I'm not supposed to be eating chocolate. I know right? Who would have thought!

Anyway, I ate 3: Macadamia, Baileys and a Scotch Whisky one. They were terrible. Nah, that's a lie. They were sensational! I savoured each knowing that within 10 minutes I'd be suffering with a strong headache and sure enough...Boom, there it was.

So there you have my confession...My freely-offered admission of guilt. Do the crime, do the time they say and my penance, my penalty, was the resulting headache. To be honest this sort of diabetic-related crime is rare for me as I'm a pretty committed diabetic so on those occasions it happens I simply plead insanity and move on. Seems to work fine. Last night's backslide into a life of crime was momentary and I've been good ever since...Honest I have. 😉

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