Emotional Balancing: Finally Transforming Us From Competitive Thinking Towards True Peace
Do you think/feel that humanity's common approach to life is the best it can be? Do the wars, scarcity and epic suffering reflect true success or is there something important missing? I say there absolutely is a great deal missing from our common beliefs and logic that when understood will make such a great difference that many will be shocked it had been missed for so long.
Commonly our psychology and emotional body are such that through the conditioning of our life experiences, we associate certain feelings with certain experiences and ideas. By defining some emotions and experiences as 'good' and some as 'bad', we can unintentionally (or intentionally) limit our own emotional responses to fit into those narrow 'boxes' instead of allowing them (and us) to be more free and expansive.
As children growing up in a society that has been so heavily programmed and conditioned to accept and believe in 'survival of the fittest', competition and winners/losers - it is common for us to feel rejected and 'not good enough' for no reason other than that we have accepted into ourselves the idea that we are 'losers' for 'not winning' in certain circumstances. Despite the absolute fact that there can only be one winner in many situations in life, meaning that the vast majority of people will be defined as 'losers' as a result, somehow it is still thought by many that there is no problem with this and it is 'good motivation'. Here are some of the serious problems with this:
We need love. We need to feel acceptance in all of our being if we are to feel balanced and at peace. The confrontation and violent abuse we see growing in society often has roots in a lack of self acceptance and the feelings this is generating. It is not easy to accept all of self in a culture that promotes non self acceptance and self denial in a spirit of competition.
Emotions are responsive and can be twisted/shaped by thoughts. If our thoughts include such ideas as 'I am not good enough' and 'winning means i am good' and therefore 'if i lose, i am not good' and 'i need to be good to feel good', then we will not feel good! When we do not feel good, we cannot perform well and our life will not be optimal.
The lack of love, lack of feeling good and non optimal performance will have a knock on effect onto others who may respond similarly or who may go to the other end of the spectrum and become what we call 'big headed', trying to be thought of as superior to others in order to be seen as a 'winner' and to justify 'feeling good'.
Much of this is UNconscious within us, so if you ask others if this is occurring they may say no, but if they really felt deeply into the matter, they may think differently. If emotions become conditioned to only express when in the presence of certain stimulation - such as truly only feeling 'good' when having just 'won', then the door is opened for massive dysfunction, such as addiction, violent confrontation and a general sense of depression unless competition is involved. I suggest this is a large part of the reason why we have such a wealth gap on Earth - those who are most emotionally injured become obsessed with gaining more money/wealth and often have no scruples about how they do it.
Part of the challenge here is a deeply rooted psychological attachment to the excitement of winning. In analysing why there is excitement in winning, it became apparent to me that there is a concept of 'getting what I need' if I 'win' - so the idea of winning and feeling good has become attached to actual survival! However, it is not that there is no other way to survive/live or to experience being/feeling good than to compete and win. The reality is that generally it is possible to be evolved such that new ideas spring forth that allow for survival and feeling good without any competition at all.
Some of the more closed minded I have encountered often jump in a knee jerk fashion toward the notion that to remove competition means 'communism' or some kind of artificially engineered version of reality that will ultimately weaken people (as seen with the idea of giving prizes to all school children in contests etc.). This though is not what I am talking about. I am not talking about having competitions and giving prizes to everyone - I am talking about not having competitions at all. I am talking about evolving consciousness such that we understand deeply that what has been motivating us to compete is not love or wisdom, but fear and unconsciousness. If we never ask deep questions and never question our own choices, then we have become unconscious and lost. This is the actual state of many of us and this has also allowed great fear to be generated that needs to heal in us now.
Transforming to A Healed State?
What then does a healed reality look and feel like?
Excitement is a vibrational state within us that is a reflection that we are partially or totally in alignment with who we are in the present moment. However, that does not mean that all excitement reflects perfect balance. By attuning ourselves to ways of being that no longer value competition and more greatly value co-operation, we can become more excited by co-operation than by competition. To do this, though, is much more complicated than competition and it is this rejection of complexity that has many people believing in competition. Ultimately, competition is lazy thinking - yet it is often projected as being the opposite of lazy (how competitive!). The real work is in finding the needed balance in being able to co-operate in harmony - this requires great wisdom, understanding and agility.
Do you think you could be excited by shared passions with other people and in finding ways to ensure the needs of all are met without any being overpowered? This is the true way of love and survival. There is no need to forget the past that has been so full of heartlessness, disconnection, denial and injury - instead we need to heal from it and learn its lessons.
To be among the 'cutting edge' of humanity in this regard is to become highly conscious, not just to be sure to be making the best decisions, but also to ensure that we do not slip back into the unconscious patterns that are still being held by others as they trigger us unknowingly back into old ways.
Gradually, as more and more come to understand the necessity of real balance, the transformation will become easier and easier. Eventually, we will look back on the current period of humanity and wonder how anyone ever lived as most of us do now - just as people look back on medieval period in such a puzzled way!
Wishing you well,
Ura Soul
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Congratulations for these wonderful reflections. I particularly love the part when you say it is possible "...to be evolved such that new ideas spring forth that allow for survival and feeling good without any competition at all." It is good to know that people, with such conception of the worl that you have, are increasing in number, which gives us hope for a much better life in this precious planet. Up to now, we have just lived in pre-history and what you are describing herein is the begining of real history. -Congratulations and thanks again.
Aloha! Thanks! Well, maybe we have been living 'his story' and now we need to live more of 'her story' so that we can then live the 'earth story' :)
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good perspective... if believe if we all could raise above this continued state of competition and separation and come together, we would raise the level of consciousness and visa-versa.
Absolutely, yes, I agree.
So true. Years ago I realized that all the games I had learned to play were competition games. I still like some, like Dominion, but I deliberately went out looking for cooperation board games to play and to give as gifts to my nieces and nephews.
In life, we see that some of the happiest and most successful people are actually volunteering in community organizations. The work they do with these organizations (sometimes churches) gives them the chance to collaborate with others towards a common goal. That is how we are designed to truly thrive. I hope more people can find or create the communities of giving to this world that will provide them with this sort of fulfillment.
But often when people are struggling just to keep their children fed, there is no extra room in their life for such activities. This is a double deficit they are at.
Oh yes, co-operative games are interesting - I would like to see more of that explore for sure! :)
Thankyou for being you!
very wise text, you can get a lot of positive things out of it, I recommend to everyone to read, greetings from the hot Polish :)
Thankyou - I'm glad you appreciated it :)
I appreciate only valuable things, you definitely deserve it :)
Necessity of real balance can be achieved with the truth knowledge of self. I think it can be done. Thank you for this post @ura-soul
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Nice post,photogtapghy thanks for your hard word keep up the good work god bless you,
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Permit me to say that sometimes the peace we experience is dependent on factors beyond our reach
Greetings! Sometimes a journey is needed to reach the causation of our suffering, yes - but ultimately I feel that it is possible to in some way change something somewhere such that we no longer suffer and have real peace (without involving denial of reality and self in the process).
Always live with peace and love so its like best humanity
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hi @ura-soul
what a nice and wise post keep good blesing you..