The Right To Choose Life or Death: Freedom Friday
This will be my first time participating in Freedom Friday, a question posed each week by @EagleSpirit. I've seen countless thought provoking posts from @riverflows and @trucklife-family, two name a couple of weekly participants, and this week's question inspired me to write on it.
This week we are prompted to think about the freedom to live or to die, basically the freedom to choose.
Freedom Friday
I think this topic will touch most of us for we all likely have been connected to someone who has died or killed themselves. Fortunately, I didn't know anyone who killed himself until I got much older. I remember a twin in my childhood neighborhood who committed suicide and spouses of friends of my parents who had done so as well, but no one personally touched my life in this way.
I will preface my post by saying that I feel what I'm about to say is controversial and may upset people so if you're sensitive about this topic, you may want to pass over this post. I also don't want to argue so please don't come here with adverse opinions or a critical nature. I'm sharing this from my heart and also from my own personal experience with these topics.
To sum it up I believe each of us absolutely has the freedom to live or to die.
Though social contracts and bonds would put it differently and they often act to keep us locked in or glued to living until we randomly die, I believe each of us has a right to end our lives if we so choose.
To start I will share a story about a friend of ours (but much closer with Ini, I only met this person a few times) who made the conscious decision to kill himself. Ini could tell you many enlivening stories about this person, but suffice it to say that he was a very rare breed, some may even say *not made for this world* and therein lay the problem because, ultimately, he decided that he was too sensitive and "too much" for this world.
An energetic, creative person, our friend took his life without telling anyone about his plans. Of course the shock that ripples through an action like this, touching partners, spouses, parents, siblings, then friends, colleagues, and so forth, is huge.
I'll invite Ini to write a couple paragraphs about him to give you more of a feeling for him:
The man known as Sherdock Yidaki was a vibrant soul who exuded enthusiastic abundance during his short life. He marched to the beat of his own drum (or yidaki in his case) and was never self conscious so far as I could see. He embrace life with an open heart and mind. Sometimes a little too open for some. He was a great teacher in being fully yourself, in not conforming and truly living out your passion. He had a passion for Magical Musical Massages and Blissful Body Butters that he would pour his tremendous heart energy into. He was a healer, and although he didn't fit into any mold, this was his role.
He healed the little boy inside me who felt like I was too much and didn't have ay play mates who could imagine like I could. During my college years he was that to me. He was there with me dreaming up some creative reality or enhancing the current one. We would walk barefoot in the snow together to push our boundaries, climb trees and chant. We would craft odd and alluring elixirs and feasts in the kitchen. He gave his all, whether freestyle rapping or researching herbs and natural healing. What I remember most about him was his uninhibited love of life. He allowed life force to move through him and resonate. He was a channel for raw energy. His choice to end his physical existence in his bodily form was his to make.
Conscious Choice
When Ini got the Facebook message from Sherdock the morning after he killed himself, we were both incredibly surprised. We had just spent time with him in Peru, where he was living at Ecovillage/Ashram. He made sure to communicate in his letter that he wasn't depressed and that it was a conscious choice to be rid of his body and to join Spirit. He wanted to be spirit once more and that motivated him.
Of course, others choose to die with emotional backlog. Another friend of ours surprise committed suicide to the consternation and great sadness of all who knew him. He was a human that had a very rare type of sensitivity, compassion and honesty. He lived honestly and I think it's fair to say that that's rare. When we got news that he had gone away in the night and killed himself, we were all flabbergasted. His fiance at the time took a long long while to get over it and move on.
Yet, despite the pain that those of us who are left on earth feel, there is also something else that I've felt when someone makes this decision.
How Sweet It Is
I remember how sweet life is. How our next breath isn't guaranteed. That it is a choice to live here and I think it's a liberating option to realize that we don't have to. I think a lot of humans live lives of quiet desperation playing a waiting game with a future that may never come. These two young men who were our friends didn't play around with their freedom of choice - they took that bull by the horns and made the unpopular choice that sent them onto the next escapade.
And that really is my reason for writing- I do believe each of us has the freedom to choose whether to live or to die. Of course the state wont give us that, even if we are old and on our deathbed wanting to be released from this mortal coil, but it is our Spirit-granted right.
The Right To Choose At Old Age
This brings another example to mind. In summer of 2013, I lived at the old homestead of Helen and Scott Nearing. They both lived well into old age, yet there reached a point when Scott consciously made the decision to stop eating. Within a month, he was bedridden and finally died at a ripe old age in his mid 90s. It was a natural and peaceful death and one that was very much chosen. It's crazy to me that this isn't a common thing for people who are older and who have decided that they've lived enough.
Posted from my blog with SteemPress : http://www.ozarkmountainjewel.com/2018/11/09/the-right-to-choose-life-or-death-freedom-friday/
In the end, as my mom would always tell me, we all are born and die naked. This tells us something about the fragility and temporality of life. One thing is certain, we all will die and I believe when is a choice we can make if we want to. In fact, I think feeling into that freedom of choice inspires a well-lived life.
Posted from my blog with SteemPress : http://www.ozarkmountainjewel.com/2018/11/09/the-right-to-choose-life-or-death-freedom-friday/
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Thank you for posting your thoughts I do believe they come from your heart. I was close to a couple of suicides several years ago. Both middle aged men. Both with families. Interesting how you discuss your experiences. One of my friends was I truly believe too sensitive, felt everything so deeply. The other had significant "emotional backlog". Suicide is an issue that should be discussed more.
i agree, definitely needs to be discussed more.
I read Loving and Leaving the Good Life and it seemed to me Scott lived and left his life on his own terms. Helen did a good job describing the end.
My husband lost both a sister and a brother to suicide. The first wasn't a surprise, the second, at age 18, was.
My brother in law lost two brothers to suicide when they were that age. The hole they left behind, and the pain, was enormous and lasts to this day. THAT I find hard to reconcile. I'm not sure they would have wanted that, if they were to come back and see that suffering, and how it SHAPED the remaining three brothers - I'm not sure 'spirit right' is something I'm too comfortable with here.
i agree, helen did a fantastic job of describing his departure. those early deaths can be so hard to cope with.. <3
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I think the difference perhaps is that the two people you spoke of seemed very much at peace with their lives and the decision that they made. In my post I speak about that - that as long as you're approaching death with equanimity and peace in your heart then it's okay, as you're not causing harm. Yet what I feel uncomfortable with IS that concept of 'ahimsa' - you say the one left behind struggled, and I find that hard to reconcile. Not arguing, just puzzling. I loved your approach and the balancing Libran in me agrees that it's a spirit right - the other side of the scales is the wounds it leaves behind.
Totally agree re: sickness or old age - if we're done, and in pain, we're done. However, as my vipassana friend would say, you meditate to strenghten your mind so you deal with that better when it comes, with equanimity.
I don't believe there's any definitive answers, but you wrote on this Freedom Friday admirably, and as @eaglespirit would agree, it's a super tough one. xxx
thanks for your thoughtful reply. i agree it's such a complex subject, which is why it's great to dig into.
regarding the two guys i mentioned, though sherdock made his suicide letter sound like everything was okay, i definitely think there was unresolved stuff there and the second guy definitely was not at peace, even though he was a remarkable human. his mom and gf spent months agonizing over it. it's definitely a double edged sword because i think in most cases the ties we have through our relationships and the pain we know we would cause if we ever did decide to kill ourselves keeps us holding on. i know for myself the pain i know i would cause my mom in particular would stop me from doing it...
however, in the end, i do think every spirit has its right. it's a very permanent action and as you say your meditation friend would say, it causes us to supremely face this most difficult situation with equanimity.... so many wounds left behind, but also some treasures of realization in the wake too perhaps? a difficult topic too and i appreciate you weighing in with your libran scales.
I am sorry I missed this but so happy I scrolled through your blog and found it. I am so with your words and humans having this choice. how I feel teh need to meet similar magical humans as the ones you described that took their lives. Those are my kin and how I feel their spirits and feel a lose. Yes, it is a choice and one we need to respect. thank you for sharing this very honest post!
Your sis,
Eagle spirit
Thank you for stopping by with your comment. Yes these two were certainly kin and losing them came as a surprise and a true loss. We remember their spirits though and so they live on... much love sister