Dad thoughts, Day 3 after his death -5minutefreewrite (x3)
Together, let's get to the bottom of exactly who…
Created these ellipses.
I need to check a lot of things that need to be gotten to the bottom of. We should see about… Oh, things I probably shouldn’t talk about in a freewrite. Not my business.
Storytelling? K.
Together, let’s get to the bottom of exactly who took all the goldfishes from the pond. Probably a frog who wanted the pond all to themselves. But Themself… But which frog? The one living there now? Or are they just an opportunist? I can’t decide on plural or singular.
Frogs. Frogs who live in ponds. Masha and the Bear encounter a frog and then the frog becomes a series regular. I’d like that to happen in a show for me. I’d like to be just a day player who becomes recurring and make a career out of that. I think … I don’t know… am I an introvert? Am I? I guess not. Or maybe. Or… who knows what it’s like to be in other people’s brains? What about
Oh, gosh, I don’t know. There are geese on the lawn. It’s raining, and it’s fall. Fall is nice. Especially in Wisconsin. I dunno. What don’t I know? I guess I’m I dunno-ing whether it’s nicer to walk in the rain or to not get sick maybe. I don’t think that I’ll necessarily get sick, but it does seem like there are difficuties that come after a nice walk in the rain that don’t come otherwise. It has surely been 5 minutes
Yep. The timer made no noise, but it’s at zero.
"Are you both talking about the same thing?"
Often not. Sometimes, though, even when it doesn’t seem like it. Sometimes my parents would both hear the same few words and take them in different directions, and it didn’t seem to bother them that they weren’t talking about the same thing. I dunno. What am I I-dunno-ing? I guess my opinion about that. I think in later years it became evident that they didn’t always listen closely to each other. I don’t think either of them have ever had actual hearing problems. But ultimately, it worked out for them until death did they part, so, that’s as successful as any marriage can be. I wish they’d had more time. Dad needed to retire. He was emulating his dad. I don’t think I’ll be emulating them in that way, though I see why it’s so admirable. But I don’t think we should work until we die. We shouldn’t have to, and we wouldn’t have to if so much wealth weren’t concentrated into the hands of the very few.
As long as my anger at the world is focused at the system that I was already angry at, I can consider it useful rage. I don’t want to indulge my useless rage at dad’s death. I don’t want to
a long blond hair
I never knew my dad to have long hair. Stina’s dad had long hair. He was a tried and true hippie in that regard at least. My nephew, Stina’s Sister’s kid, has long blond hair. My dad’s beard wasn’t ever particularly long. Always full, but never long. He also trimmed his mustache well. I don’t know what choices I make about my fashion. I just don’t do things like trim, even though it might make life easier. I don’t think it’s laziness. I have found it easy to trim my mustache, and sometimes I think I should. It’s more about
I don’t know.
Dad always had a beard. I think my entire life. I know he shaved before at some point. Well, obviously, but even after he became known for his beard, because there’s a story he shared about how he shaved and went downstairs, and his first roommate didn’t realize anything was different, and his second roommate thought he was an intruder.
Funny.
What are other stories? I’ve always known it’s important to write these stories down so we don’t forget, but also. I don’t know. Does it matter? I’m very much in the “does it matter” stage of grieving. Obviously lots of things matter, but surrounding his death, a lot of things that I think about I know don’t matter.
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I am so sad that your dad passed away and so glad at the same time that I got to meet him. I so understand working too much and paying the price.
Big hugs to you! And to Stina. Both of your dads gone in the same year. So sad.
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Receive my condolences dear @improv. Your freewrite is an excellent tribute to your father.
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I'm sorry. Parents teach us a lot, it's good to tell the story and learn from it
@improv
Your Dad was a kind and interesting man.
Some of the details are muddled now, but I believe he told me that his dad and brother were involved in organic agriculture and one of them had been on of the first (together with other farmers) in Michigan to work against pesticide use.
He told me about how for so long he had fought against the wild mustard, but that recently he had just accepted its existence, and we happily noted that the bloodroot and solomon's seal seemed to be able to survive within.
We talked about the walnut's an the effects they might or might not be having on the surrounding plants.
He told us many other things, and together with your mom and several very nice young men from a nearby place we shared a meal this summer - thank you for setting that up.