Humanity's _____ -5minutefreewrite(x3)

We guarantee full satisfaction, she said with a smile.
For https://steemit.com/freewrite/@mariannewest/the-weekend-freewrite-6-9-2018-part-3-the-dramatic-twist

She had a slight glint in her eye. Brack stepped back. The HUNGER in her eyes was off-putting. He tried to convince himself it was just a matter of wanting to make a sale, but it seemed like there was something more. Was there a loophole? Was he in some sort of Science Fiction Horror story? She was offering a lifetime supply of money, how could anything go wrong? Of course, full satisfaction... of herself? That was kind of a loophole. Also, "lifetime" might be any length of time. But on the other hand, what did he have to lose? Nothing. Nothing. He was penniless, homeless. Likely he would have died if she hadn't picked him up off the street, given him food, shelter, and now made him this offer... There was nothing in the contract about an immortal soul or anything. It's not like she was a demon, and anyways, there aren't really immortal souls, so far as he knew.

So... he was better off now that he was 2 days ago. She was offering to make him EVEN better off. Of course, this could be the twist that made him worse off, but he wouldn't wind up worse off than he started, so perhaps it was a risk he should take... This is what people say to themselves when they bought a little crypto, sold it at a profit, and are now trying to decide if they should re-enter the market with their profits.

Huh.

So, here he was, better off.

I rush toward the back room, stumbling down a step and grabbing at the wall to steady myself.

The helicopters were certainly a surprise. GOSH, I love surprises.

These thoughts drifted through Brack's head. He was hardly aware that he wasn't really Brack. That he had bought Brack's memories, and was living them... but that pleasure he was feeling at feeling horror... that was all him, not Brack. The brain he was on was clearly frightened. No bother. There was enough of... Creaszuatklar in him to enjoy Brack's horror. OH, what a wonderful thing this was.

All the Kardolops had been so bored for the millennia since they had discovered how to live forever. After experiencing all the various combinations of chemical processes their brains were capable of, I.E. "new experiences" they had stopped bothering. Everything seemed quite predictable. There were, after all, a very finite number of ways in which they could experience the universe... but then their ships had encountered humans. It was a simple thing. So many humans had been left to rot by their society. They could do good and harvest brains that experienced everything anew.

She nestled closer to him. The Kardolop in his brain couldn't grasp what the intended procedure was for, but Brack was clearly happy. BORING. Time to detonate this one and start with another brain... ooo, maybe hers! She seemed excited and scared, sitting next to the brain guts that had gotten all over the room. There was a vessel hanging from one of her not-so-delicate eyelashes.

YES. And she was basically at a low point right now, so if they offered her lots of money, she'd probably be very happy. Doing good and harvesting brains! Yay!

No, it wasn't lost on him that her bad feelings were the result of his detonating the brain. But she was human. She'd have found something else to be sad about instead if that weren't the case, so he was just preemptively getting her to happiness.

He was so proud to be a member of a species that did so much good in the universe. I wonder, Craghlaszaman thought, or whatever its name was, I wonder if we can teach this species to do good, too. OOOO maybe we can then be partners with them!

So it introduced itself to her. In its original form, that of a blob inside a hard shell with lots and lots of limbs each with a prehensile digit.

And then she screamed, as it expected. But then it told her all about the miraculous things it could do to help her help the universe. She was intrigued. And so she began recruiting other humans. Top down. She experienced their brains, and they experienced the brains of those below them, and so on!
Truly a means of bringing joy to all.