Portal -5minutefreewrite
For https://steemit.com/freewrite/@mariannewest/day-535-5-minute-freewrite-monday-prompt-portal
Portal.
Can Steem be my portal to prosperity? It ... sigh. The bull market always makes me sigh.
When I imagine the future, it's hard to imagine prosperity. I've been making a go of being an actor for forever. I've been actively trying to make a living at it exclusively for 9 years. That's long enough for me to only see slogging in my future. I don't know how people buy houses. It seems impossible. I don't get auditions. I don't get more than a handful a year and I'm...just...running out of hope. I know that I'll never give up, and so I just have to get used to this level of success or lack thereof. I make $40k once every three years. That's not enough to save enough to make it.
I think of Steem and Bitcoin. But I don't make enough to really risk a lot on them. I have essentially risked as much as we can be comfortable risking, and it still seems like a lot. Like there's a timeline, sure, in which BTC goes to a million and Steem goes to a hundred. There is absolutely that timeline. But how long is that timeline? Is it 10 years?
I guess. I guess ten years isn't that long. But there's also the possibility that none of it does. And two years have passed since I started this journey, so maybe it's more like 20 years, and that does seem far too long to wait for home ownership. By then, Lochlan will be grown. That's what this is really about. Even 10 years seems too long. We want him to have a yard.
None of this will happen.
I'm not going to let myself be too sad. But I am feeling sad about this. Or, hopeless.
I really wish... I dunno. I wish I knew what I could do to improve the trajectory of my career. I'd like to act in more prominent things. I loved being Macbeth. I loved being the Juice Bar Mafioso. I loved being Eric on Top Decking. But none of these are REALLY resume-builders. Though I am assured by professionals that I have the skills that I believe I have, casting directors, agents, directors, and so on, I don't seem to have the... connections? Business savvy? That I need to ... break through, as it were.
I'll do some drop offs when we get back. I'll send more postcards.
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My partner's father was a decently respected director until he retired and moved away from that scene. My partner was/is salty because the only way you can really get anywhere in that business, is via family connections, and his father never helped him.
"I could be a multi-millionaire like my cousins!! And do you know how they got anywhere in this bloody business? Their FAMILY helped them. My aunt and uncle understood that. My father is an idiot. Complaining that I don't make enough money, that I never followed in his footsteps. Well maybe if the idiot helped me like all the other families in the business, he would have a son he could be proud of."
I always respond, "Yeah, well if you became the next big director producer multi-million-dollar bass guitarist, whatever, you would never have met me. So. Pbbbt."
Anyway.
Sorry, your freewrite just brought to mind that. It's a tough business. A highly nepotistic business.
I would love to make a living off steem. It would be a dream for me. Do what I love - reading and writing........ sigh.
Right? My ifonlys always include, but I still would meet Stina
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