Day 26 - Selfie Freewrite Celebration Contest ---> Surviving Depression

in #freewritehousecontest6 years ago (edited)

Surviving


image (3).jpg


Who knows the slippery
downward
spiral of a slow
death,
that envelops the soul
and takes
a bite
and leaves
an
empty hole?

The hole gets
bigger,
darker,
wider with
every
aching breath.

Sadness
enveloping
every molecule
of skin
and
bone.

Tears that never
go away
and leave
the blood
red
stain of death.

Suicide is
never
the answer
they say,
a cowardly
way out.

What do they
know?
The pain is
unbearable,
only
a
like - soul
knows the
excruciating
agony
to keep
going
day
by fucken
day.

Only a
"professional"
can
diagnose
this ailment
they say ...

Who the fuck are
they
to
tell
me
I am
suff-er-ing
with
De-press-ion?

My soul
is
dying,
someone
help
me
Live,
Surviving
with
insane
Alacrity.

This is where my five minute timer went off ...

If anyone is suffering form depression this is a very serious issue, and a list of outreach phone numbers can be found here. Asking for help is a good thing.

Depression has touched most of the people I know, and those I love dearly. I am dedicating this post to them and I will be sending the payout to: Suicide Prevention Hotline, or tap the link and give today! Peace.

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Greetings,
Thank you for stopping by to read my blog. I’m a First Nation member of the Hopi & Apache Native American tribes, Medicine woman in-training, first time blogger since November 2017, (right here on Steemit), paralegal, researcher, and writer based in the Mountains of Colorado, USA. I work closely with fellow planktons and minnows in a few groups by helping them adjust to Steemit and curate quality content. I’m especially interested in finding others who love natural medicine originating from ancient practices, gold and silver, energy work, and the spirit world. Additionally, I'm the creator of #MedicineCardMonday, so if you are interested in receiving a Native American blessing stop by my blog every Monday, or just say hello!
See you soon, @eaglespirit

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Having contemplated taking an early exit to life myself as a child and teen, I cannot judge anyone who chooses that route. This life can be so hard, and many drown in depression. I think the fact that we're talking about it, that more people are raising awareness is so important. Blessings and love to you! 💖

Phew. I"m very sorry to hear this and I'm so very happy that you did not. Know why? because then i would not be able to see or hear your beautiful energy. and yes you matter to all of us here!
although i did try to commit baby suicide at age 5 by diving into a pool, i was totally O-U-T. dove right in. i kinda laugh but it was true. this world was not for me, but i here i am back for however many years and pushing through.
yes talking is very important, its a huge issue in the native american culture and it breaks my heart. mostly amongst the men. much love and blessings to you too Kat. hugs

Very deep words you have written. I suffer from severe depression. I have lost over 20lbs in the last few months because of it. Depression is a very scary thing to deal with when our mind and emotions take over everything we've ever known.

Sounds like could be one of those "Dark gifts" mentioned in the book I referenced. I would LOVE to drop 20 lbs! That may have positive results that you haven't seen yet, but are just around the corner!

I remember back when I got divorced and thought I was done at 45 yo. Only then to look back a couple years later and realize it was the best thing that ever happened to me! I was able to get my life and career back on track, and meet an absolutely amazing woman that is now my wife of 10 years. Now facing a challenge of changing jobs at my physically but not mentally older space of 56 years old. I'm sure this too, will pass in short time, and the next adventure will be even better with the experience I have gained from past mistakes, errr. learning opportunities!
My mistake was initially trying to force through it on my own. (I'm stubborn that way). I highly encourage you to learn from my initial mistake and reach out for assistance when needed. Sure, maybe you can do it on your own, but why work that hard? It can be so much easier with the help. You deserve better, reach out for the help when you're struggling, and the universe will provide what you need.

You've got more support and people that care than you realize, just look at all the upvotes on your posts!

I have to be honest, the weight loss was much needed and appreciated, lol! I was just showing how much of a toll depression can take on our mind and body. It certainly was a dark gift. I will check the book out that you mentioned. I have also tried to do it on my own and that doesn't work well at all. It is so much harder to deal with on our own. I'm glad to hear that your * itemsituation was a blessing in disguise. They do sometimes work out that way. I hope the job change goes well which I am sure it will.

Thank you so much for the kind words and it is greatly apprecaited.

Blessed Be!

@magicalmoonlight thank you very much for stopping by and sharing a very intimate topic. its not an easy one and strange because if i get caught up with a bout i can either gain or lose. i haven't figured it out yet. strange really. i'm very sorry to hear about your current state and i will say a blessing for you. some of this is a cycle thing, sometimes as a high sensitive/empath i get very tied into the earth and the earth changes. sensitive to many other souls, etc. thank you again for sharing.

thank you for your poem. especially in light of the 2 very high profile suicides, it feels more timely than ever. I'm unsure whether I have depression or not, but I certainly have my dark days and could relate. I have a doctors appt this upcoming week where I will be asking for resources. Thanks for sharing!

i have my own feelings about what will happen as earth evolves. this is such a sensitive subject and medical attention is necessary if its persistent. personally, i feel we all feel this way at many times throughout our life. as changes take place and sad things happen. i have had therapy after a major crisis and because i have always believed in self healing i was able to do this --- with help. i've had many relationships with those that live with this and it is not an easy thing. i appreciate you sharing and support you on your path to get help. asking is probably the hardest thing, and then accepting. if you need to talk, i'm here. hugs.

Yes, I can see you've known depression...the darkness of mind and soul that eats ones light.

Pleased to see your great efforts here on Steemit. Many blessings.

thank you sir! after a while you just sort of think to yourself "hasn't everyone" had a bout of sadness in their life?
some say its normal, a cycle of life ...

thank you so much for stopping by. Blessings xx

My pleasure. I hope you have great success here. See you around.

thank you kind sir! so far so good (after 6 months) ... see you! :)

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You have the ability to put into words something that has bounced around in my head many times in the past, and still likes to visit me from time to time...

you are so very kind amber and yes it just poured out as it does when something is ready to come. i'm sure if you just put on a timer and gave yourself 5 minutes and just let it come it will. blessings

Very insightful words, indeed.
I've done some work with folks in this area (as well as my own!).

I still find it amazing how easy it is to let our mind and thoughts get stuck in the dark place. Isn't it interesting how we typically only spend a few moments laughing at something funny, yet can get stuck for hours or days or even weeks on some depressing or sad thought? Why is that?

One of the best things I have learned is to not give the dark thoughts that much power and fear that we keep running from them, giving them more power. But learn to face them, feel them, acknowledge them, then send them on their way like a bad joke.

Some of the best simple words of wisdom I received in a very dark time of crisis came from a friend in group who stated (in his heavy Arkansas accent) "Kxxxxxxx, You've got to quit waller'n in it." (Refering to a pig in a mudpit). Those words still ring in my ears every time I'm feeling down.

Another great reference book I love is from local Colorado Author Tom Stella out just this year. "CPR for the Soul". The chapter on "Dark Gifts" really resonates for me.

thank you so much for taking the time
out to share such great info and books. those are always very helpful.
i truly appewciate your kind words and approach. blessings

And thank you for the spirit that you are putting into your posts and threads. It is tangible, even for a novice like me.

"...what you do comes back to thee,
not just once, but three times three". (W creed)
K

awww that is pure loveliness and thank you so much! :)

you are so very kind and i appreciate your support. you aren't a novice cu it out. hehe

Your poem certainly puts the pain of depression in perspective. I think we all have depression at times but hopefully most are able to see a light at the end of the darkness.
The desire to live is suppose to be our strongest drive but In the news this week were the deaths of two high profile people who looked to have everything - fame and money. Both had battled depression.
Peace and blessing @eaglespirit. 🤗

i appreciate your confirmation, it wasnt an easy prompt let alone having to go deep. but it did pour out. lol
yes i totally agree, we all have it ... i agree 100 on that one.
also with the hope that ppl will see the light.
you and many others have mentioned the 2 but i have other thoughts on
this, they are celebrities and this goes into a lot of what is going on in america right now. its all in line for what is to come.
the right track of fame and money is totally tied in and what was vowed.
i had heard differently re: "battled" but if they did for sure, then my prayers go out to them as their soul moves on.
peace and blessings Pei.

"only a like - soul knows the excruciating agony to keep going day by fucken day."

This really hit the nail on its head! Existing in such can feel worse than death itself (although I have not experienced the latter to confirm). Great write! Impressive that it has come through a freewrite.

yes! you got it, and i appreciate that you saw it. thank you for mentioning it yes it just poured out. i wasn't sure how deep i would be able to go in 5 minutes but it must have been meant to be said.
there is a lot of suicide lately and this has been a huge issue within the native american community for years. the native american male is one of the largest percentage of suicide due to depression and oppression. anyhoo, let me stop ... i can go on and on about depression. thank you for your kind support and words. blessings.

I did not know that, but I would assume most ethnic minorities who are oppressed suffer more. As part of a minority group (LGBTQ+) and having gone through depression and having been suicidal before, I can definitely relate. Hugs. Blessings

yes they are, its huge in usa. i'm sorry about your sorrows and i wish you much strength and love as you journey through this life. hugs and blessings always

It is hard, when everything around and inside you is dark, to keep reaching for the light.

yes it can be for sure

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