The Perfectionists - Chapter 5 - Cocoon - Day 5 of #freewritemadness - NaNoWriMo

in #freewritemadness5 years ago (edited)

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The Perfectionists

Chapter 4

Cocoon


For days she huddled in a corner of the room they’d built for her, with its soft walls and dim, indirect orange light, its warm, humid air, and the ever-present white noise, which was supposed to be comforting, but grated instead, because it sounded nothing like the deep liquid rhythm she was used to. She understood that she was supposed to lie on the mat they had set up for her, which was designed to strengthen her muscles so that she could learn to walk. To walk! If she’d been horrified at her inability to fly, and further, at the realization that flight would never even be possible in this body (because if they had been able to, the others would certainly already be doing it), the harsh realization that she could barely crawl, let alone walk, had demoralized her completely. She didn’t want to start over. To have to learn, again, to walk. To never be able to fly. She wished they’d just leave her alone, let her go back to sleep. All she wanted, all she would ever want, was to go back. Back to the way she was before.

In The Womb, impulses had been sent through her body which were designed to enhance neuromuscular reactions, so that her body moved exactly as she moved in her dream state, only to a lesser degree. This had prevented muscular atrophy, but it hadn’t made her strong enough to walk or run. Whether it had prepared her to fly or not, she’d never know, though it seemed to her that if anything she should have been able to fly, since she’d spent so much more time flying than walking in her dreamworld. But she couldn’t fly. She couldn’t even walk. Instead she huddled there in the soft, loose fitting clothes they’d given her, not eating or drinking, wanting only to sleep.

As soon as she'd been strong enough she’d crawled around and collected all of the pillows in the room, and brought them to her corner, and now she slept on top of them. She remembers forcing her eyes closed, squeezing them tight to try to keep them shut, trying to will herself to get back to sleep and never wake up. But she woke up anyway, over and over again. She remembers burrowing her face into the cushions, trying to force her way inside of them, pushing her way into the center of the pile, wanting to be on the inside of something, anything, that would let her sleep. But the cushions just fell off of her, and the effort only made her feel more alert, more awake. She remembers screaming in frustration and rage, kicking and pounding at the pillows, the walls, the floor… anything within reach. She remembers when the man used to come, the physical therapist, who she now knows, by name, as Geoff. And the nurse, Katie. To try to get her to move her body, to exercise, to take medicine, to eat, to bathe, to change her clothes. But she didn’t want anything to do with either of them, with their scary biohazard suits and their insistence. She pushed them away and burrowed further into the pillows, pretending to sleep, hoping maybe if she pretended hard enough, sleep would come.

And sleep did come, fitfully, for several hours at a time, but now her dreams were different. There was an ominous quality to them that hadn’t been there before. Like the dreams of the other waking denizens of The Bubble: her dreamworld had been tainted, poisoned. Her worst fears realized.

And she always woke up.

And then Hal came. According to him, it had only been a few days, and she believed him, now, though at the time it had felt like an eternity. He’d come at night, told Amy that he needed to observe the subject for a few hours, and would she like to go back to her quarters and get some rest? He had to get rid of Amy because he was about to break like ten thousand rules and he knew they would stop him. Anyone would, if they saw him doing it. So he sent her home, and then he walked though the half dozen airlocks, one by one, right into her Cocoon. She remembers staring at him, wondering. What was he doing here? Why wasn’t he wearing a suit? For the first time, she was glad that she wasn’t asleep. She wanted to be awake, to see what would happen next. Hal sauntered casually over to her pillow pile, and sat down next to it, cross legged, his body pointed in the same direction as her feet. He stared at the wall for a few minutes, his face in profile, not moving or saying anything. Then he swung his head around to look at her, and flashed a playful grin. She stared at him with wide eyes, as if he were an unfamiliar wild animal, fascinating but potentially dangerous. Registering the intensity of her inquisitive gaze, his eyes softened. He dropped the grin and just looked at her. They sat like that for a few more minutes. Then, without knowing why, she reached out a hand toward his face, with its tanned skin and smile lines and stubble, the scar above his left eyebrow, the slightly chapped lips, the circles under his eyes. She stopped just short of touching his cheek, afraid that he would pull away, her arm frozen in place. He bowed his head and brought his cheek the rest of the way to her hand. It was the first human touch she’d ever experienced, skin to skin. She let her hand stay there, feeling the soft, dry, prickly warmth of his cheek, and he looked up at her again, his eyes searching her face, as if trying to read her. Then he flashed her another grin, his eyes twinkling. He reached out and took her by her other hand, still holding her gaze, and pulled her up toward him, up to her feet.

Of course she wobbled and fell against him. She couldn’t stand or walk yet. And she was very weak because of her ongoing refusal to eat or drink. But he scooped her up and carried her across the room, to the bathroom door, and opened it, and walked through. There was a large tub in there, where they had washed her when she’d first arrived, although she’d been screaming and thrashing so hard they hadn’t actually bathed her. They’d just sprayed her with hot water for a few minutes, then dried her off and dressed her. The nurse had tried to get her to come back here, after that, wanting to give her a bath, but she’d fought it, remembering the first time. But this was different. She didn’t want to fight it, to get away so she could go back to sleep. She wanted to see what would happen. So she let him sit her down on the edge of the tub, and turn on the water. First cold, then hot, fiddling with the knobs until he had the temperature he wanted. Then he left the water running and squatted in front of her and held her hands, looking into her eyes so that she wouldn’t be scared.

When the tub was full, he helped her take off her pants and shirt. Then he picked her up and gently placed her in the water.

Bliss.

Her body responded instantly, gratefully, to the familiar feelings of weightlessness, and wet, and warm. She smiled and closed her eyes, and sank further down into it, trying to get her head under. But he was holding the back of her neck with one hand, and wouldn’t let her submerge fully. She opened her eyes and glared at him. He shook his head. Then he took a deep breath, exaggerating it so that she would be sure to see what he was doing, held his nose with his fingers, and plunged his face into the water. She was surprised, and surprised again when he stayed there. She waited, but he didn’t come back up. He didn’t seem to be breathing either, and after twenty seconds or so she started to feel worried. She was about to reach out and touch his hair, to see if he was alright, when he pulled his head back out of the water, gasping dramatically for air. Then he turned to her, grinning, and motioned for her to hold her nose. She did. He took a deep breath and held it, clamping his lips so the air wouldn’t escape. She did the same. Then he gently let go of her head.

She was under. All the way under. Relief flooded her body. Slowly she moved her head back and forth, feeling the resistance of the warm water, floating her, supporting her. It felt so good, she wanted to laugh. She did laugh. And then she sat up abruptly, choking and spitting, coughing up the water she’d breathed. Hal was laughing, his body shaking silently, tears running down his face. As soon as she could catch her breath, she glared at him, which only made him laugh harder. This made her laugh, too.

Once he was sure that she knew how to navigate the bath without drowning, he left the room to let her bathe in privacy. She stayed in until the tips of her fingers were crinkly, and the water was getting cold. Then she called for him, and he came and helped her to dry off and get dressed, and carried her back to the pillows. He laid her down on them, touching her forehead lightly with his finger tips. He took the comforter from on top of the mat and draped it over her pillow pile, tucking her in. She closed her eyes, feeling warm and snug and happy. When she opened them, he was gone.

But all night long in her dreams she flew, through landscapes both strange and beautiful, unlikely and utterly familiar.


©2018 Bennett Italia, all rights reserved.


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It's National Novel Writing Month! Some of @freewritehouse's freewriters have bravely (or foolishly? Only time will tell...) accepted the challenge of writing an entire novel in one month. These are: @amelin; @botefarm; @felt.buzz; @grow23; @improv; @kaelci; @kaerpediem; @linnyplant; @mariannewest; @ntowl; @stinawog; @carolkean; @byn; @kipswolfe; @bennettitalia; @aislingcronin; @nonsowrites.

Aaaand... I'm one of them. What was I thinking?

50,000 words total, which breaks down to 1,667/day.

Tune in for the continuing story of a writer frantically trying to write a story which contains stories of writers writing stories within stories of writers writing stories...


11/7/18

Breaking news from the desk where I've chained myself to crank out chapters (see yesterday's post https://steemit.com/freewritemadness/@bennettitalia/the-perfectionists-chapter-4-day-4-of-freewritemadness-nanowrimo):

WRITING IS THIRSTY WORK!

Writers, take my advice and don't actually chain yourself to a desk with the idea of increasing productivity unless you have a faithful assistant, be it human or animal or faerie or djinn or robot or whatever, to fetch water for you when you get thirsty.

Ongoing dehydration notwithstanding, I am making progress. One more chapter (5, posted here) is completed, and two more are on the way before bedtime, if all goes according to plan. Also, I've added something resembling an actual ending to the outline, which means that I now have a rough idea of where this story is heading.

What's that you say? You thought I already had an ending?

Did I say something to that effect?

I was lying.

Well, no, not totally. I have had a partial outline written. And I still have a partial outline, but with an idea for an ending tacked on to it. This might not sound like a big deal, but it's comforting to me. Things seem that much less precarious.

Now I gotta figure out all the stuff to write in between!

Tonight I'll probably fall asleep at my desk, in the wee hours of the morning, drooling all over my laptop keyboard, and trying not to notice that the shackles are chafing my ankles. Only to dream of being chained to a desk, and forced to write into the wee hours of the morning, and falling asleep, finally, drooling on my keyboard. Only to dream of being chained to a desk...

But hopefully by tomorrow morning I'll be far enough along to take a break and see what's happening with the other writers. I miss you guys!

Confession time: I'm a really slow writer. This means that a lot of nights I'm staying up until 2 and 3 in the morning trying to finish these, and then getting up to work construction the next morning. So I am seriously looking forward to seeing and supporting what you all are up to, I'm just honestly completely overwhelmed.

This installment, Chapter 5, is the first one that carries forward and builds on the story of an already introduced character, rather than switching to a brand new scenario. There will likely be several more chapters about Eve, Hal, and possibly also Lily (who you haven't met yet), as well as the other members of G.O.D. and denizens of The Bubble, before the next set of characters are introduced. Eventually, the initial storyline will also be picked back up, featuring Zelig and Melissa and also Ariel (who you haven't met yet either), along with the stories of Louis and Justine, God and Adam and Eve and Alpha and Zoe, and all will be woven together into a brilliant tapestry that will blow your fucking mind.

That's the plan anyway. Blowing minds to smithereens. Might as well shoot for the stars, right?

Failing that, hopefully at least things will make some kind of sense. Eventually.

?


Read and comment on my #freewritemadness posts for a chance to WIN SteemBasicIncome shares! For more information, click on the first banner at the end of this post


In case anybody's wondering, this is my 82nd 5 minute freewrite. (Disclaimer: even under normal circumstances, these usually take me significantly longer than 5 minutes to write and edit. And given that November is novel writing month, "significantly longer" has taken on a whole new meaning ).

Today's prompt is "primate", but I didn't use it.

Word count for this installment is 1702.

*Come join in the fun at @freewritehouse! Lots of contests and other fun stuff for both writers and fans *

Many thanks to the incomparable @mariannewest for hosting these wonderful daily freewrites :) https://steemit.com/freewrite/@mariannewest/day-381-5-minute-freewrite-monday-prompt-primate


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Horizontal rulers courtesy @cryptosharon

For a chance to WIN SteemBasicIncome, read and comment on my #freewritemadness posts NovMadFan.gif For more information visit the @freewritehouse

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Aw, I felt so bad for Eve. Thank goodness Hal did what he did to help Eve and I caught myself smiling while reading. I am so happy to hear that you have an idea for the ending, but I am happy that I am not near the ending. This is a great read. Shooting for the stars...way to go @bennettitalia! This resident cat is your #NovMadFan. : )

Thank you so much @whatisnew! I'm glad he did it too.

And thank you for saying it's a great read... I've been insecure about how all over the map it is, hoping it doesn't read like just a total mess, so I'm glad it's working its way around to telling more of each story now, at chapters 9 and 10! The fact that you are enjoying it already at chapter 5 is reassuring 😊

What I said is the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. You do not have anything to be insecure about! And that is the truth! LOL!

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