11 years I'm not giving up on -Breaking Up short stories #1

I sat totally stunned. Shockwaves ran through every nerve fibre. He wasn't meant to say that.
I began to cry.

Days, weeks, maybe months have gone by as my husband of 10 plus years became slowly more distant. I knew something was wrong but we'd recently bought a new house and I was busy renovating whilst he was busy earning the money to pay for it. It didnt seem unreasonable that we had little time for each other.

But this? No, not this.

We'd spent the day together fixing up the garden fencing, sat and had dinner then relaxed a bit. But I'd steeled myself to ask the question and ask it I was damn sure I'd do.

"So. What does she really mean to you?" I'd pressed as we agreed to talk.
"She's a friend. Someone I could talk to." came the flat reply. He sat there, emotions closely tucked in.
"So you cant talk to me? Your wife?" I stumbled over the words, stomach knotting. I wanted nothing more than to go back an hour and become the proverbial ostrich because what I was hearing wasnt full of the 'I Love You' I'd expected.

The 'friend' had reared her head and pushed into our lives a lot recently. I'm not the jealous type but I had a nagging feeling this was going to get out of hand if I didnt step in.

Turns out he couldnt talk to me. He promised it wasn't an affair. I had doubts higher than Mount Everest, but I wasn't about to start a fight without facts. He said he needed someone when I was ill with depression and so reasons were listed and contested but nothing changed.

Then he said it.
"I need to be on my own. You can stay in the house until we sell."

WHAT? Brain freezes, heart stops. All but the eyeballs got lost in a moment of time that dragged on for eternity. The eyes leaked streams of hot tears but the head didn't notice.

After catching my breath -it took several attempts as the shockwave hit me- I asked "Why?"
"Because I never have been and I feel like it's all pushing down on me." Came the calm, flat, heartless response from a man I loved so dearly but didnt know right now.

I lay awake all night, shivering with fear of losing my man, my mate, my rock. Questions battering my head like shutters in a storm.

Eventually morning came -we both cried and he left.
I prayed he'd come home again. I had to fight for this love. I waited....