When You Have One, Contributed by @Olawalium
One of the many things we take for granted is friendship. It is to be cherished, nurtured and carefully handled.
Often times we take this aspect for granted. We seem to assume our friend(s) would always be around, regardless of how we treat or handle them. After all, you are supposed to accept your friends the way they are, right? That is where we sometimes miss it. We expect them to still stick around while we undervalue them, while we fail to appreciate them, and while we fail to check up on them. It doesn’t require every day to day conversations, but when you do reach out to them, what do you do? To make a request? To ask for help, or to simply check up on them? The thought behind it matters.
You need to be there for each other in key moments. These are the moments that create experiences and memories that can be reflected upon. Once you miss those moments, you are gradually threading on a thin line of friendship. Take note, I said “gradually”, so this post isn’t about giving up on your friends too soon, it is about addressing the little cracks. Don’t forget, we are all humans and we all have our limits, we all have how far we can be pushed.
To err is human and to forgive is divine, but when the eraser is wearing out before the pencil, then you are overdoing it a little.
Before your friends can understand, you must have shown a little bit more understanding yourself, and of course you must have a little bit of credibility, that would actually make them say, “Oh, he or she is not like that, I understand”, but you should take conscious effort to make things right and better IF that friendship means anything to you. Of course, you will argue, you will fight, you will say things you might regret later, but you should always leave room for restitution because friendship shouldn’t be trivialized. You shouldn’t always think of now, you think of later, EXCEPT that friendship isn’t making you better or it is not mutual.
Friendship should be mutual. Some people make you feel worse just by being friends with them. You have to be the one to reach out, you have to be the one to sacrifice, you have to be the one to visit, you have to be the one to practically do everything. As much as I admit some might naturally be the one to be doing all of this, it could be tiring sometimes. I am naturally someone who follows my instinct. I try to do all of the above and like I said, we have people like that too, but it could be tiring sometimes. Friendship is a two-way street. As much as receiving is so good, giving should as well. As much as some love giving attention to people and caring for them, there is nothing wrong if they got attention and care too. They are humans too and they have blood running through their veins too, so obviously they can also feel.
To be continued...
Thank you for your time.
My pen doesn’t bleed, it speaks, with speed and ease.
Still me,
Olawalium; (Love’s chemical content, in human form). Take a dose today: doctor’s order.
I agree with you on this, as we all know that two head are better than one, and no man is an island, it is good to keep some good friends, we don't always value friendship since we believe they should be there for us at all time even if we don't actually contributed our own quarter to their life. We have to remember this, contribute to life what you expect by from life, though we don't always get all we ever needed or work for.
Today, majority of the friendship now is build on personal gain, the mutual aspect of it has been neglected, it is only base on what I can get and not what I can contribute, for a good relationship to work out well there should be great intimacy between the so called friends.
Friends are to be there for one another all the time, though there are some situations In which one will not be available but once there is understanding and agreement between these friends, there won't be any problem since they are always there for each other.
The make a friendship work out well the people involved must be ready to make sacrifices, sometimes it will not be convenient but you have to do it for friend, what is even call a friend when you can not be there for each other when you need it.
Friendship that is build on personal gain will always worn out with time.
That is how it should be not the other way round, a good friendship should be build on what you can actually contribute to the life of your friends and not what you can always get.
I believe In this popular saying, give and take is what life require, you cannot be demanding all the time and you believe you could keep the friendship, that is absolutely not possible,
We have to remember this, contributing one's quarter no matter how small or little it might seem and always look after one another, this will help in keeping the friendship In no small amount. Thanks always, for your motivating and captivating articles.
Yes friend are to be there for each other but we don't know their usefulness until they leave our side . Did you notice that!?
Absolutely brother, we don't always realize the usefulness of people with us at a moments until they leave which is not always good, we have to learn how to keep people with us always but that doesn't mean you should force ourselves too much on what we can't always afford just to keep the relationship going. We should always look out for one another that is what friendship requires, you have a great insight on this topic.
Totally true. Thank you for this.
Here’s a little poetry inspired by this post
Beautiful, some friends are closer than the blood relative, I don't know some of my family members and I'm not too close with some of those I know. But I do know my friends, I'm attached to them in such a unique way.
Friendship is just too beautiful if two right people are involved.
When one finds a beautiful and loyal friend, one has everything. We just need to be carful of friends who are wolf in sheep clothing.
Hmm this is some deep thinking
Yeah keep our eyes open
We can't choose who our family members are, but we can choose our friends, and who we choose determines how far we can go. When two hearts beat as one, it is always easy. You have spoken well, brother.
Yeah exactly brother.
I totally agree with you
I totally agree with you, sometimes the only person left for one is one’s friend
Sure, families are good people, but we are not too attached with them as much as we do with friends, but it makes more sense to have a family friend..... Smile
This could be your friends by choice or your friends by blood..... Hahahahahah
Yeah you’re absolutely right my brother.
You always impress me and i love this brother. There are friends who stick better than family members. Once we are blessed with one, we should hold them tight and reciprocate their love and value too. They need love and attention.
You’ve always inspired me bro
I guess you’d be my lyricist and be my ghost writer, we’d definitely make hundreds of songs annually. Smiles 😄
Yaaaaaaay!. Let's rock it.
Yeah yeah !!! I hope we could pull something together
Wow beautiful. We sure have friends who stick closer than siblings. There are some friends that are blessings in ones life and there are some who are thorn in the flesh. God save us from wrong friendship.
Each set of friends teach us about life and what's important, and it is our choice to keep them or send them away. Judge me by the people i try to avoid, a popular quote says, and it is absolutely right.
Maybe we meet some few bad people in life, so when we meet the good ones, we can appreciate them. Thanks cutie.
Thanks my sis , yeah good friends are blessings from nature itself
Thank you @olawalium, this is another part of our existence.
Naturally, we are social being, we need one another to keep growing in life, and this is where friendship, family and other relationships comes in.
We have various reasons for choosing friendship, it might be due to work, interest or other stuff, but only one reason is involved in having a family "blood" which you have no control over anyway... Smile
You might not have the privilege to choose who your family is, but you have the freedom of choosing who your friends are. So, be sure to choose the best for yourself
Indeed we have varying abilities, but friendship does not worth it if it takes more than it gives to you, it has to be balanced.
If you are not rightly valued, you have the right to choose another friend who will make you a priority as much as you are making them the priority too, but ensure you play your role in ensuring the friendship work out.
I think I am the type that always look after friends too, I do it more than I receive it simply because I enjoy it, but it gladdens my heart to see someone doing half of what I'm doing for me too, that can make me to be more attached or connected to you... Smile
Waiting anxiously for the next part...
Thanks @olawalium and @communitycion
Dear, you need to be making most of your comments in a post. #smiles
Copy that. And we sure need to be careful in choosing friends. Not all are real.
This says it all, I'm touched.... Thank you for your kind word, it is an inspiration already... Smile
No doubt about that, you have the right to determine who enter your ship, that is why it is called friend+ship smile
Yeeeeaaa... Thats right
Mmmmmm he’s a good supporter and analyzer . I love his comments. Keep it up bro
Mmmmmm he’s a good supporter and analyzer . I love his comments. Keep it up bro
Very well said my brother, this is some great contribution to the topic. Kudos I must say
Thanks for the kind words, you did greatly yourself.... Smile
You’re much appreciated for the recognition my friend . Keep steeming and touching lives
Hug...
Bravo!. Thanks for this.
Friendship is a relationship of mutual affection between people. Friendship is a stronger form of interpersonal bond than an association. friendship, some of which may vary from place to place, certain characteristics are present in many types of such bonds. Such characteristics include affection; kindness, love, virtue, sympathy, empathy, honesty, altruism, loyalty, mutual understanding and compassion, enjoyment of each other's company, trust, and the ability to be oneself, express one's feelings to others, and make mistakes without fear of judgment from the friend.
Love that last part:
i read something many years ago and it reads:
"When you make mistakes, your friend shouldn't abandon you, they should even come visit you in jail, sit down with you, and say, 'we messed up'"
It is all about sacrifice and being there for them in moments that matters to them. If most people that commit suicide due to life's pressure have friends who are willing to go extra length for them, we might as well have fewer cases of such.
Thanks a lot for this.
Am with you bother, it good to keep friends
You need to be there for each other in key moments
but Sometimes you find some friends have problematic mindsets that are only revealed as they grow up. We all know those friends—those who have a skewed view of women or men, for example. They always manage to make you do or say things you’d vowed never to do again like drink, maybe. Their crazy lifestyle is problematic for you, and they somehow always drag you into it when you are around them.
For someone to maintaining friendships is hard work. It takes up your time, your energy and even resources. While there are some friendships you cherish and wish to maintain for as long as possible, some just aren’t worth investing in anymore. Not that those friendships you aren’t interested in anymore are necessarily bad—it’s just that you are older now and have outgrown them.
Hmmmm friendship is sure a two-way thing. You can't expect to be getting all the attention you need from one side alone and not respond on the other side. Its not done. We all need love and attention.
Exactly. We all need love and attention and friendship is a two way street, just like life. It is give and take.
Thanks a lot dear.
Friendship IMO should mean equality
Feelings on both ends must be dutifully expressed to avoid inferiority feeling from any of the sides
Sometimes we loose things that are important maybe we don't know their usefulness those times it's still with us so we careless with it and then it lost and when we need it we miss it and regret why haven't we keep them well enough
Thats just like friend, people can't watch you taking them for nothing or not useful and still stick around with you . We all do things to gain, not to loose may not be in term of money or materials but time is very important at times, treat your friends right and they treat you right back, don't treat them bad cuz they will go and you will later need them around but may be too late
It is not that we don't know their usefulness but we don't always count it since we believe we deserve it from them, I meant our so called friends.
We have to consider the people called friends and always reach out for them, whenever we are always ready. No man is an island we needed people to lead us to our promise land.
Absolutely. Treat your friend the way you want to be treated.
By treating them well, they would stay and you will get thrift Best
It is more blessed to give than to receive. If only we all can take note of that and act likewise, this world will be a better place. Thank you once again Ola and Communitycoin.
If we all approach our relationship with the intent of giving, rather than receiving, imagine how better the world would be, with many precious moments. Thanks a lot dear.
Giving is done by the good and kind hearted if you’d agree with me
Indeed we ought to cherish friendship. You will never know the worth of the relationship you are having right now until you lose it. I have been through it several times. I have learnt my lessons, however I don't wish for anyone to lose friends before they cherish the people around them. It's a really painful experience. Good article
I am really excited you can relate to this. I am so sorry about your lost friend, it hurts so deep, i can tell, especially when you have found a friend so true, and worthy. Stay good.
Well said my friend
One doesn’t value one has until the point of loss