She Called me an ASSHOLE...??? But, I'm 'NOT'...AM I...???

angryman (67)in #funny • 5 years ago (edited)

Though I tried my best to not go outside today in grim anticipation of what I might encounter, the more malicious entity lingering inside of me coaxed me otherwise...

Don't be so surprised my dearly, disrupted friends...yes...old AngryMan suffers from the same 'Multiple Personality Disorder' as the rest of you. I've lost count at six or seven separate personalities being harbored within the interior, and suspect many more.

Anyway...some big, ole fat and ugly bitch at the convenience store called me an "asshole"...

She was a truly haggard looking wild haired woman with a face more masculine than most men I encounter on a day to day basis here in the good old USA... (Another 'sound' reason for me heading to Asia) At least 'women' still look like 'woman' over there...even the Ladyboys are more attractive than the average butch bitches we have here these days.

I wouldn't be surprised if one of our typical manly looking ladies we have in America would become more feminine in appearance simply by relocating to Thailand, Cambodia or Vietnam...

Anyway...I had just stepped outside of the store with my little sack of snacks, along with a scratch-off lottery ticket (which I hardly ever buy)

Eureka...!!! I hit for $2.00 dollars...on a two dollar play.

As I ambled back into the overpriced establishment (they jack up the prices to compensate for all the shoplifting going on) There were two clerks attending to customers at the 'single' counter. One was the same face who just sold me the ticket, and the other was a human of another description (At least I 'think' he was human...???)

The only customer in front of me upon entering, had finished her purchase, turned to leave, and I stepped forward with a smile to the clerk announcing my windfall, break even luckiness...while at the same time telling him to just give me another one of the same tickets.

It was then that I heard the first grumbling from a distorted mass of grotesque flesh, not far from my right side...

"THE LINE STARTS 'HERE'....."

There was a sort of familiar sounding ring to the crude, invasive tone assaulting my tender auditory sensors. As I turned to peer in the direction of the wild barking...I immediately recognized the dog faced offender as a local, well known middle aged, low-life who was a family member of the Scumbag family in town...

She'd typically be seen with her equally ugly brother, riding around town all wide-eyed crazy, in a frenzied search for their next hit.

The brother was a mutt who if he couldn't 'con' some cash out of you, would turn towards intimidation tactics if faced with a seemingly meek individual. If you were a "fuck you"...stand your ground type, the punk would go grumbling off in another direction, mumbling threats under his breath...

If I had noticed the smelly, folds of fat bitch was standing to the side of another customer at the counter in any semblance of starting a "line"... I would have politely 'asked' if she was waiting for the next free clerks attention.

Now, as all eyes began darting back and forth between 'silent' me and loud mouthed Mrs. Fart Breath ...I calmly informed the audience that "She's talking to herself" and gave the best coo-coo eyed expression that I could muster at the moment...

"I'M NOT TALKING TO MYSELF..." The huge mound of gyrating, putrid meatball screamed... "YOU'RE AN ASSHOLE'"

My humble retort...???

"Why 'thank you'...that's the best compliment I've had from someone all day long..."

Proudly, I just took my second scratch-off from the smiling, young clerk and proceeded out the door to scratch and uncover the vast winning cash reward awaiting me under the gummed up face of the ticket...

You guessed it...FRIGGIN ZILCH....NADA...Merde...Skata'...

Well...at least I got home safe and sound, and able to grace you with this fine event of my ever evolving, exciting life on a Steemit blog-post.

I'm outta here my friends; see ya when I see ya.

Ciao