Filipino Jokes Translated for Western Tastes Part 28 (My Entry for Comedy Open Mic - Round 11)
Good day, my fellow Steemers and Whalesharers! This is my post entry for the 11th round of Comedy Open Mic on Whaleshares.This is the 28th part of my series post about local Filipino jokes which I have translated for people of the English language. Please check out Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, part 4, part 5, part 6, part 7, part 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26 and 27. Please read and pick the ones you like best. Tell me in the comments section on why you liked it.
I think nobody in Steemit and Whaleshares has done this kind of post series before. So I took it upon myself to do it even if you think it might not be popular or profitable. I just wanted to be the first to do this kind of thing. It would be up to you to decide, my fellow readers, if I was successful or not.
There are still a lot more Filipino local jokes that we need to be translating. These jokes are the products of the Filipinos' creativity, ingenuity, and love of social drinking.
Read and enjoy!
Horse kick
DRUNK ONE: Why does the horse kick?
DRUNK TWO: Because it doesn't know how to punch!
The unfaithful
HUSBAND: Honey, I am going to leave my mistresses! We'll start over!
WIFE: Thank you, my love! I promise that the next child we'll have, you're going to be the father!
Proof of womanhood
A passenger plane on flight had engine trouble.
PILOT: All passengers, please fasten your seat belts! We are about to crash!
LADY PASSENGER: No! I can't die yet! I still haven't experienced what it is to be a real woman! Someboy, give me that experience!
All the male passengers looked at the lady passenger. She was a bit mature and wasn't pretty! Nobody quickly volunteered because of her features.
LADY PASSENGER: Someboy, give me that experience which a real woman should experience before I die!
A tall, dark and handsome guy suddenly stood up and stepped towards her. He held her hand.
HANDSOME GUY: Okay, now go to the plane's kitchen and make me a sandwich!
Blood debt
A guy donated his blood to his girlfriend. When they broke up, the guy wanted the girl to pay him back the blood which he donated.
GIRL: (Throwing a bloodied sanitary napkin at the guy) There! I'll pay you monthly!
New taunt
HUNCHBACKED KID: I am so sick of being teased and bullied in class!
FRIEND: Buddy, I think you ought to learn Karate so they'll learn to respect and fear you.
A few months later...
HUNCHBACKED KID: The bullying stopped after I kicked their asses with Karate but they still teased me with a new name!
FRIEND: What did they call you?
HUNCHBACKED KID: Ninja turtle!
The meet up from chat
2 textmates, who never met each other, agreed to have a meet up.
GIRL: I'm going to wear yellow.
BOY: I'm going to wear GREEN.
On the day of the meet up, the girl (who was a bit ugly) wore yellow at the venue. But she could not find any boy there wearing green. So she approached a guy wearing red.
GIRL: Excuse me, are you my textmate?
GUY: Huh? Excuse me?!? Am I wearing GREEN???
Translated from Source: http://www.jokespinoy.com/
Follow me as @darthnava: "I invite @khenbee and @baa for this contest."
Haha funny stuff! Albeit a bit sexist. Just jokes, or does it say something more about the culture?
Well, Filipino culture is a bit sexist. We had two lady presidents and the Philippine military staged several coups against them.
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