Filipino Jokes Translated for Western Tastes Part 66

_Giphy

Good day, my fellow Steemers and Whalesharers! This is the 66th part of my series post about local Filipino jokes which I have translated for people of the English language. Please read and pick the ones you like best from this post series. Tell me in the comments section on why you liked it.

I think nobody in Steemit and Whaleshares has done this kind of post series before. So I took it upon myself to do it even if you think it might not be popular or profitable. I just wanted to be the first to do this kind of thing. It would be up to you to decide, my fellow readers, if I was successful or not.

There are still a lot more Filipino local jokes that we need to be translating. These jokes are the products of the Filipinos' creativity, ingenuity, and love of social drinking.

Read and enjoy!

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Made in Japan

John bought a new model Toyota car and was proud of it. He parked the car in front of his house to show off to the neighbors and went to sleep.

The next day, he found that the car was vandalized with "Made in Japan" words painted on it. John spent money to have it erased.

The next day again, the same thing happened. John spent money again to erase the words "Made in Japan" from the car.

Every day the same thing happened. John was furious. He couldn't catch the perpetrator as he alway fell asleep easily. He decided to have the painted words, "Made in Japan", redone by the car shop and make it permanent. He was sure this would stop the vandalism.

The next day John was shocked to see new added words painted on his car.

"Made in Japan. Not in U.S.A"

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What's shameful

Mother calling out to her kid playing in the street with friends.

MOM: Jimmy, aren't you ashamed that you are playing there while I'm hard at work cleaning our house???
JIMMY: Mom, it's more shameful if I'm cleaning the house while you are here playing with my friends!

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Codenames for types of farts

_Giphy

During my high school days, my class had many colorful codenames for various types of farts. Each type was named after a famous pop or rock song.

Ordinary fart - Wind of Change
Silent fart - The Sound of Silence
Fart with tiny bits of poop - Dust in the Wind
Sudden unintentional fart - Careless Whisper
Unreleased fart being held back intentionally - Please Release Me
Very smelly toxic fart - Killing Me Softly

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Hardcore believer

Once upon a time, a Filipino taxi driver got a hardcore Muslim fundamentalist supporter of ISIS for a passenger.

MUSLIM FUNDAMENTALIST: I want you to turn off that radio! In the Great Prophet's time, there were no such temptations as radio and pop music!

The taxi driver turned off the radio, stopped the taxi and opened the door.

MUSLIM FUNDAMENTALIST: Why did you stop the car???
TAXI DRIVER: I want you to get off the car! In the Great Prophet's time, there were no such temptations as car travel and taxis! You wait for a camel!

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Lucky streak

_Giphy

Philippine President Duterte went to Japan, he was with his staff when he saw a vending machine. It says "drop two quarters". President Duterte got some quarters from his pocket and inserted the first two. A can of iced tea came out. He got excited. He inserted the other two quarters. Another canned drink came out. This made him smile.

President Duterte ordered his staff to change his Dollar bills to all quarters. When he got all of them, he inserted another two then a can came out.

After a while when his staff noticed they all have more than a handful each of canned iced teas and ice coffees, an aide approached President Duterte to tell him it might be more than what they all can drink. President Duterte stubbornly answered without taking his attention off the vending machine, "Son of a bitch! Don't bother me! I'm having a winning streak with this slot machine!!!"

Translated from Source: My old classmates. XUHS Class of 1992

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