Filipino Jokes Translated for Western Tastes Part 68 (My Entry for Comedy Open Mic - Round 24)
Good day, my fellow Steemers and Whalesharers! This is the 68th part of my series post about local Filipino jokes which I have translated for people of the English language. Please read and pick the ones you like best from this post series. Tell me in the comments section on why you liked it.
I think nobody in Steemit and Whaleshares has done this kind of post series before. So I took it upon myself to do it even if you think it might not be popular or profitable. I just wanted to be the first to do this kind of thing. It would be up to you to decide, my fellow readers, if I was successful or not.
There are still a lot more Filipino local jokes that we need to be translating. These jokes are the products of the Filipinos' creativity, ingenuity, and love of social drinking.
Read and enjoy!
The cash incentive
JOHN: Dad, didn't you promise to give me 500 Pesos if I pass my Math subject?
DAD: Yes, I did! Did you pass?
JOHN: Good news! You get to save 500 Pesos!
Fake news?
PETER: The newspapers these days are full of fake news!
JAMES: How can you say that?
PETER: In this news article it reported that a British tourist here in Manila lost 2000 Pounds! No one in the world is that big and fat!
Wanted security guard
Thomas applied for a job as a security guard.
INTERVIEWER: We need someone who has a suspicious mind, highly alert, insistent personality, strong sense of hearing with a killer instinct. Do you think you are qualified?
THOMAS: I think my wife is qualified for this job!
To look young
PATIENT: Doc, how much is a facelift? I want to look as young as possible.
DOCTOR: It costs around 145,000 Pesos for a complete treatment.
PATIENT: That's too expensive! Is there a cheaper alternative to look young?
DOCTOR: Put a baby pacifier in your mouth and a baby rattle in your hand...It's the fastest and cheapest way to look as young as possible!
Shitty problem
PATIENT: Doc, I got a problem...I poop every day at 8 o'clock in the morning.
DOCTOR: So, what's the problem with that?
PATIENT: But I wake up at 9 o'clock in the morning!
Translated from Source: https://www.boxingscene.com/forums/showthread.php?t=86113
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