Thankfulness that History is Mostly, History 🌀

Don't live too close, or look at the nobleman or the king. (He might steal your wife and chop off your head.)

Look up when walking in the streets, or you might get a bucket of human excrement in your face from some idiot on the 3rd floor.

Be in a patient, happy mood when working with, or walking the streets behind animals, or you might get a hoof to the head. (You missed your alarm (the rooster) this morning, so a hoof'll do the job good.)

Don't carry more than 1 piece of gold or silver per pocket, as there are highwaymen, pirates, and ruffians everywhere. Hide the rest in the middle of the forest. (If you're the 1% who has more than like, 5 pieces.)

Ignore the doctor who tells you to frequently wash your hands, he's probably a warlock, devil worshipper. (I often see him up late reading books, and that one time carrying a big package...)

Don't write any of this down, 'cause you'll get killed under some ridiculous pretext. (Oh, and you can't read and write anyways...)

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Count your living children when you wake up every morning, and when you return home at the end of the day. (Yesterday the count was 14, but it's winter (or summer,) so you know, check again...)

Stay within 3 days travel of your home. (You're already down to 12 kids, and you heard about a visitor with a magic spell and sickness going around, oh, and that damned tiger was lurking around the village the other day too.)

Put solid lead in your hat, and powdered lead on your face. (You'll look nice!)

Don't forget to throw the contents of your (and your 9 kids') bedpans out the (3rd floor) window every morning. Your house already stinks. (Right, that corpse is one reason... 8 kids...)

Always look around for trespassers, and up and down for dangerous animals in the outhouse before you sit down. (Forget reading material (once again, you can't read anyways,) so bring a lantern and a baton.) (Teach your 6 kids that when they need to go, they go in pairs, or call you.)

Don't forget, you and the baby have a blood-letting appointment at noon with the barber. (You both look pale and sickly, so that'll help.) (Also remember the 2 pieces of silver, and the list of names of people who dislike you that he asked for.)

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Figured I'd add a few new ones I thought of, and that I can blame you for admiring a dark sense of humour @vimukthi! But I appreciate your inspiring this exercise in thankfulness for what we have been through, and have achieved. https://steemit.com/inspiration/@vimukthi/an-exercise-of-gratefulness-taking-a-look-at-history-and-our-luxuries-and-building-a-better-world-through-positive-change Like you say, there are still areas where some of these issues are still relevant, but we already have proof we can beat them, and we should have hope to conquer all new problems too. We created them, so we can solve them...

Here is a TED Talk with some of the data. https://steemit.com/history/@inphiknit/is-the-world-getting-better-or-worse-a-look-at-the-numbers

Anyone else thankful for something historic that we barely have to deal with anymore?! Upvotes for good or funny examples!

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(Good morning from a horse. Tiger territory. Peacefully reading in the outhouse.)

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Thanks For Your Attention and Support!